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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do mums do this?

55 replies

sissygirl23 · 27/04/2025 17:32

Constantly talk about their parenting style, rules and beliefs online? It’s exhausting and so dull. I have no issue with the way anyone parents their own dc, but I just don’t see why they feel the need to tell everyone else about it. The Tik Tok trend of ‘controversial ways we parent’ which never are really controversial, it’s all within the realm of standard parenting. Or ‘things I judge other mums for’ which is just gross.

But even people I know are at it - long winded explanations on instagram stories about how and why they don’t allow their dc screens while eating in public - again, don’t disagree but why do you need to tell everyone your rules? Why do you assume they care? I know someone who is apparently on a one woman mission to educate the entire world about the dangers of forward facing and internet usage in the under 13s. I’ve had to mute her.

Has this always been a thing? Back before social media did mums stop each other in the street to talk about their particular parenting style? Often in a oneupmanship kind of way as well.

With the exception of obvious neglect I really couldn’t give two shits about how others bring up with their own kids. It’s one of many reasons im thinking of coming off social media.

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 28/04/2025 09:14

Time to wise up and stop wasting your life on Instagram or whatever bollocks. Influencers? Such crap. Why do you want someone influencing you? Earning vast amounts for utter rubbish.
And as for the one supposedly dressing her children in white and chucking paint etc. round to show us how well Fairy washes…. trot on dearie!

TweetingHurricane · 28/04/2025 09:25

Yeah it’s all crap. Just don’t watch them OP

sissygirl23 · 28/04/2025 09:38

It isn’t just influencers. It’s people I know from daily life. A woman I work with for example, another I see daily on the school run. Awkward to delete them but I have learnt the use of the mute button pretty quickly!

As for the Tik Tok algorithm - I don’t know how it all works but I suppose I must have watched videos in the past for them to keep appearing on my feed.

I guess it just boils down to people believing their opinions are superior therefore they need to either boast about them or educate the lesser mortals

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 28/04/2025 09:56

If there was one foolproof, perfect parenting strategy, we would all know it by now and then everyone else trying to make money out of parenting techniques would effectively be redundant. But there isn't. We have two children, 2 years apart, we are the same parents for both.

When we had our second we were cocky, we know how these babies/toddler things work, this one will be easy we thought.

Oh how we were wrong. Completely different personality, even very young, time out techniques, discipline, all the techniques that worked with the eldest, pah forget it rip up the instruction manual and start again!

And that's the thing isn't it, parenting is trying to be effective whilst adapting to the child you have not the one you think you should have.

And our two are the most genetically similar related people to each other in the whole wide world, and they are still so different in personality, and how to approach them to get the most effective result.

ginasevern · 28/04/2025 18:23

Whatsgoingonherethenagain · 27/04/2025 19:31

I disagree.

i remember my mum and her friends discussing the latest advice to minimise gender roles in their children.

who would buy young Kevin a doll. Would an action man do the job? I don’t want him having a Barbie. Jane down the road got an emergency vehicle set for her birthday, it’s supposed to be good for them to play with “boys” toys.

shame we’ve gone backwards.

my mom also remembers a lot of talk about how formula was better, it was more scientific, more hygienic, and you knew baby was getting enough. Discussion around how to suppress your milk supply as well.

also remembering when “hyperactivity” came into general parenting awareness and discussions around which E numbers to be careful of.

also a lot of talk about weight and if you should start your daughter on a diet.

that would be the 70’s.

I was actually going back further and perhaps should have quantified "back in the day" in my post. The 70's was certainly the start of the discussions/explorations you mention but prior to that it really wasn't a thing for "ordinary" people. Although I'm sure there was a small section of society (bohemian, intellectual perhaps?) that ascribed to it.

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