Baby name drama

[ThisBrickCritic]

So myself and my partner are undergoing IVF and we have just had our first (and only) embryo transfer. We are waiting to find out if the transfer was successful.
Myself and my parter have discussed baby names and have decided that if it's a boy, he will choose the name and if it a a girl I will choose. My partner is a different ethnicity and cultural background to me and has chosen a name that aligns with his culture if it's a boy. I'm not overly keen on the name, but it's not terrible. It's import to my partner so I'm happy to go along with it. No issues, anyway the name Ive chosen for a girl is a nice name that I feel is suitable for both baby, child, adult stages of life. My partner likes it too. Anyway the issue is my mother. She keeps making a point of saying how much she dislikes the name Ive chosen. As far as I can tell the only reason she doesn't like it is it's because it's the same name of my step dad's ex wife's Neice, it's quite a popular name and is not considered 'out there' or anything. It's honestly ridiculous. My mother has always been very critical of me and there is a part of me that feels I could of chosen any name and she would of made a point of telling me how much she disliked it.
Anyway, after the second time this week of telling me she doesn't like the name I've chosen and shaking her head at it, I snapped at her. I honestly do not care if she likes the name or not and quite frankly I'm not going to change my name choice.
I just don't know if I'm being overly sensitive. I'm on lots of hormones currently and I am quite sensitive and emotional. I feel a little guilty for snapping at her, but also feel I don't need her to tell me every time we bring up baby names how much she dislikes the name. Am I being overly sensitive about it?

Stop telling other people the names of your unborn children.

You announce the name when your baby is born, not before.

Good luck with the embryo transfer.

It’s all a bit too much too soon.

Oh my gosh thank you so much for this ❤️, we are so hopeful and I feel mindset is a huge thing and positive thinking is important.
I'm so pleased your journey has been successful for you. It is an extremely difficult journey to go through, expecially for us ladies who have to deal with the physical turmoil aswell as the emotional toll.
Huge congratulations for your pregnancy, wishing you all the best too ❤️

Thank you that’s really lovely of you. I wouldn’t usually have shared as I know how painful it can be for others but just wanted to share how disappointing parent's reactions can be!! (I was even “told off” for when it was due because there are so many family birthdays that month. Sorry for that inconvenience…)

Anyway your mindset is brilliant. I’ve chopped and changed with each pregnancy whether to be positive or crippled with anxiety. No matter what my attitude was it never made a blind bit of difference to whether I lost it or not but I wasted a lot of time being miserable. You’re doing the right thing having a positive attitude and keeping yourself sane.

Hang in there - oh and to add to the extreme controversy, I too may accept a name I’m not that bothered about because my partner who has been my rock for all these years of hell has reasons for adoring it and I, also, will only be so so grateful that I am holding a baby in my arms at last. X

Never tell anyone the name until the baby is born. Just spare yourself unwanted opinions.

This was a response to someone else.

Your mum doesn't get a say in what you call your baby. Instead of snapping at her, you should have calmly told her - 'Mum, I love this name and this is what we will call her if we have a girl. Please keep your negative opinion to yourself, I'm not discussing it anymore'

In future, if you do conceive, I would keep your name choices to yourself - everybody will have an opinion and they won't all be what you want to hear!

Good luck op!

Fwiw dgc has a name from his dad’s culture. Dd wasn’t keen but it suited him straight away and no one can imagine him being anything else!

Your mum should keep her opinions to herself. Having grandchildren is an absolute joy!

I personally wouldn't name my baby a name dh and I didn't love 100%.

Not a chance if let dh pick a name without my input and vice versa. Some of the names dh suggested were eye openers.

Anyway my mum wasn't keen on our eldest name, I think she actually said ypu can't name him that, but dh and I loved it. We called him that name and a few months later my mum said she couldn't imagine him with any other name and that it really suited him.

Oh gosh! I'm so sorry to hear that! That would infuriate me to be honest, if anything your baby's birthday is extra special ❤️
It is very very hard and at first I thought I wouldnt be successful and cried as I didn't respond to the drugs well and we had this one tiny embryo that made it through and scored really well and I want to give it the best chance by believing in it.
Thank you, I couldn't of done it without my partner, they really are the rock to lean on. Good luck with everything xx

My Mum did this. We went with the name anyway. No regrets.

Yes I actually do feel guilty for snapping at her. I really didn't handle it the best. Definitely learned a lesson with baby names, If I could turn the clock back we'd of just not mentioned it!

No, I'm sorry!
My first post was criticising the first reply to your opening post from @DownWhichOfLate, not your reply to her/him. I was in agreement with you.
I think I'd better shut up now before I cause any more misunderstandings😊

The name is between you and your partner and nobody else. When we decided on DD’s name nobody else’s opinion would have been given a second thought

You’re an adult now. Tell your mother that’s it’s none of her bloody business

Everything about babies is tricky sometimes!

All the very best, OP.
I really hope you're pregnant.

This 👏

In fairness, it is a bit odd to announce the name before conception to someone you know is hypercritical.

I think it's really odd to put stupid negative comments on peoples posts that are not helpful at all. I mean was you never taught unless you have something nice to say, don't say anything at all? I mean it's so weird to just jump on a post and not offer anything but a negative troll like comment.

Have you thought about asking for your thread to be moved to a different topic. Maybe you're a new poster and didn't realise that if you post in aibu with a poll you'll get what people really think not fluffy answers

I think it’s mad that a parent won’t have input into their child’s name so this whole he picks this and I pick that set up is very odd to me

But on your mother, if you know that she is awkward why tell her in the first place. But it’s done now and you know not to be as open with her again. But don’t feel guilty of pushing her back if she is disrespecting you

Not really no. I think there's a difference between being respectful and disrespectful and I think expecting people to be respectful and not just but random crap that holds no meaning other than to try and make me feel bad or question myself. Should a pregnant woman should not consider baby babes just in case she had a miscarriage or looses the baby? I mean where does the lines blur? I have blastocyst implanted which is the beginning of a baby growing. I won't be wasting any further time on negative comments but I feel people should be respectful when commenting.

I think you may have misunderstood me, if you want respectful answers you've posted in the wrong topic

You can wish for different types of replies as much as you want but you won't get them in AIBU, not sure why you'd choose to rail against the tide rather than choosing a less combative topic but I guess you have your reasons

I thought the protocol was to assume you are pregnant after transfer, PUPO pregnant until proved otherwise. So I don't think it is at all unreasonable for you to be planning for the baby you will hopefully be holding in your arms in 9 months time.

I look forward to a post, with pictures of course, in nine months time, I have everything crossed for you.

Your mother is very rude.
Mine is similar. I made the mistake of sharing names i was thinking of during my pregnancies and there was lots of face pulling and snide comments along the lines of "that sounds common/silly/too foreign/ like a dog's name". She has very prescriptive views and only likes very traditional names.

I stopped discussing it with her and announced the names after the babies were born. I know she doesn't like my daughter's name as she's never said it out loud. She calls her by a nickname we also use so I can live with that.

I don't know why people have to stick their oar in rather than just supporting you.

Good luck with everything.

I can't believe your mother even knows the name of your stepfather's ex-wife's niece. You are not being sensitive, your mother is being really weird.