To think primary transition days aren’t much help if you work?

[Transitiondays]

Arghh. Three primary transition days, two with pick ups at midday and one full day but obviously finishing around three. I’m guessing this is standard but very difficult to manage!

Agree with OP these transition days are a nightmare for working parents. I was a secondary school teacher and had to rush off at lunchtime to collect my DS from school to take to a nursery for the afternoon. Had to do the same 2 years later with DS2. DH was unable to help as he worked too far away. I really thought that these days were a waste of time and unnecessary in my DS’s case.

I agree OP

I don't think there is actually any evidence that it helps children.

Many children are in nursery long days anyway before school and cope with that fine, and it isn't a huge transition to school.

Parents need their leave for school holidays. All this means is that the kids starting school are more likely to be in holiday clubs during half terms etc...by which time I found mine were genuinely knackered and often ill, and really did need a break

It doesn't matter how 'difficult to manage' it is. It is designed to be of benefit to your child and that should always be your priority

My school used to do this and then stopped as found they settled in quicker if they were there every day

I really REALLY hate the 'school is not childcare' comments. Yes it is!

It is ILLEGAL for your child to miss a day in school - so why on earth would any adult have multiple types of childcare set up to cover the many days they can't go in.

This is why lockdown was so traumatic for children and families - because we were shamed for the fact that without school adults couldn't work and children were totally isolated and dependent on stressed adults trying to WFH

people get X amount of days leave in some jobs - they don't live near family etc

We need to accept the reality and the government should REQUIRE all employers to be supportive of this sort of thing and provide days off.

Round here the afterschool clubs are often fully booked and many schools have a policy of discouraging using them in reception

YANBU. The way they run schools (and nursery) now is bizarre and assumes people either don't work or can take time off. I think it's unusual to have settling in days in August rather than the start of term in September but, either way, they're a PIA and totally useless for all involved. I wouldn't worry about it so much. If your child can't go, they can't go.

My child is my priority but you must see that if

a) I can’t take time off work and
b) DH can’t take time off work then

we don’t have many options. The only possibility would be lying and claiming I am ill and apart from being morally dubious the ramifications of such a lie would be very serious and not a risk worth taking.

I had no idea. I have had 4 DCs at primary schools at varying times in 90's 00's and 10's and nobody, not the schools, or other parents have ever enlightened me of that.

school is literally an invention of the industrial revolution to allow adults to work.

In my humble opinion school is not designed to suit children in the slightest in many other respects so let's not suddenly claim it is when it comes to things like this.

if it was about childrens needs there would be a play focused day and it would not be compulsory to the extent that it is !

Our school does 3 days mornings, 3 days afternoon. I think it’s more disruptive for the kids. The afternoon sessions especially- they spend all morning getting worked up. My second child has done 4 days in the school preschool so for them, reception is just another classroom. They’re already used to the school day. Eldest did 8-6 (I usually collected around 5) so the school days were shorter in comparison. It’s hard after 6 weeks of summer to spend the next 1.5 weeks doing half days.

How does that work for teachers? The children starting those schools won't get a good experience, because a lot of the teachers will be off.

Honestly after the 6 week hols it will be like they are all back to square one.

@Intranslation - we don’t actually need to use any after school care as from September.

DH works from home Monday and Friday. I will have Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays afternoons off. The only childcare we will need is breakfast club on a Thursday morning. This has been done specifically with regard to DS settling at school, which hopefully should deter any further comments about my child supposedly not being my priority, which actually don’t bother me as they are clearly just worded provocatively to try to cause upset and discord on here. IMO, MN should intervene and swiftly deal with such comments but they won’t, so …

Also surely it’s only a legal requirement if they’re of compulsory school age? Most children aren’t when they start.

The priority should be housing and feeding your child.

Working parents aren’t treating their child as if they are not a priority because they are struggling to balance work and school.

Many jobs operate in a way that people simply don’t get paid if they don’t go. Parents are trying their hardest but they can’t shit miracles.

I agree it's really difficult.

With my DC1 the primary transition days were done with nursery- it was v well organised, she went up to the school from her private nursery with the other kids who were going to that school. Back to nursery, collection as normal.

The New head at the school has stopped this, there's now no communication via the private nurseries in the area and so I need to fetch DC2 from nursery at some random time, take her to school for a couple of hours and then back to nursery. Using annual leave I'd have preferred to use for the actual holidays...

Could you make it clear please that I am not making a comment about your priorities?

Our children found them helpful.

But yes, I feel your pain as a working parent.

Yeah I agree. My children's school used to do it for 4 weeks, then they cut it to just 2 which was more manageable. I found it annoying and I'm a stay at home parent. I can only imagine how disruptive it is to parents who work. I'm sure I read somewhere that if you need your child to be in for the full school day during this period then they have to facilitate that. I don't agree that it's in every child's best interests. Some will benefit from that time, but regardless, shortly after they are going to need to do a full day of school whether they are quite ready or not.

There are threads every year about this which makes me the bj if isn’t talked about enough to parents with preschoolers.

Yes it’s to aid children with settling in but a nightmare if you work as you potentially have three weeks where you have to juggle staggers pick ups.

I get that school isn’t childcare but nothing wrong with acknowledging how hard this is for full time working parents.

I was lucky as at the time I was only doing 15hrs a week. it made the staggered school start much easier.

It’s a legal requirement for providing full time education from the term they start in September.

Don’t mind the comments from those who doubt your parenting skills. The world is full of these once you hit school.
Not all of us can be SAHP - for whatever reason - or have grandparents nearby.
Literally school forms part of every working parent’s childcare formula.

One of the days happens on a day I don’t work as I am part time so that is fine; on another I do work and my employer is somewhat inflexible about things like this so I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere asking. DH may be able to do one but for another it clashes with a very big event that is abroad and has been booked for months.

Well, it sounds like you can do one, maybe even two of the three, which will be great for your child.

We often have families that can only do one of the two we offer-that's why schools do a few.

Unfortunately schools don’t make parents aware of their rights because it doesn’t suit them.

For us, full time from day one was what DT’s (and DH and I) needed so we notified the school that we would be sending them full time from the first day of the term.