To wonder how many people would feel comfortable asking newborn visitors to put a wash on?

[NW3Lady]

I’ve come across this advice for the fourth trimester more than once now. If people want to come see your newborn, you should get them to do something useful rather than letting them expect you to wait on them and serve them tea, e.g. get them to put a wash on.

Other than close family, I honestly wouldn’t feel comfortable asking visitors to do my laundry. Am I being silly here?

Completely agree. I’d rather take the adult company too if I’m honest.

I would never ask this. I would offer to help someone if visiting though

Wouldn’t bother me, I’d be delighted

No one does this. It’s weird. I guarantee the people tho comment this have never offered it to a vaguely close friend nor have they asked someone to do it.

I found it quite annoying when well-meaning family tried to interfere in things like laundry or cooking. I much preferred pottering around doing it myself and spending time chatting with visitors when they were there.

I wouldn't ask nor would I expect to be waited on.
Depending on the person, if they were comfortable with me, I'd automatically and be happy to make the tea, tidy around, wash some dishes.

I’d welcome a home made dinner.. my lovely friend made us a shepherds pie to heat up.. so thoughtful! However putting a wash on isn’t all that helpful unless they’re taking it away, washing it, drying it, folding it and bringing it back to put away for me.. that’s the worst bit!

Nope. Visitor snuggles the baby and you do things you can’t do whilst holding a baby.

Bonus points if they turn up with food.

I started giving birth to DC2 on my own bedsheets. I was in hospital thinking "I can't face sluicing those sheets!"
DH was in the hospital most of the day. Parents asked what they could do.
There was no way I'd have asked them to deal with the sheets. I did ask them to pick me up a new set so dh could bin the old ones.
No way I'd have non household members deal with laundry.
Plenty of people came over with lunch though.

I'd rather they hold the baby while I put the wash on. I know loads on mumsnet don't even want visitors in the first few weeks, but I was always glad to see people and give them the baby for a while. It gave me the opportunity to do a few things and be "normal" for a little bit.

I’d cringe at someone pulling my post birth underwear out of the laundry basket tbh.
Perhaps I’m old fashioned but I was happy for guests to come and cuddle the baby, have a chat and a brew without it being transactional.

I would offer but I wouldn't have ever asked anyone. I didn't need to, DH was around to temporarily cover my share of general domestic stuff as well as his own

I did ask my mum if she'd mind doing a task when visiting.

Nope! She told me not to be ridiculous 😂

I wouldn't ask them to do laundry but would maybe ask them to make a cuppa and wash the cups afterwards

Yeah I was assuming it included hanging the stuff out afterwards at least. But other than a mother or possibly a sister, I’d never ask anyone else to do this. Even just the baby’s laundry.

God, no. I wouldn’t want someone handling my sweaty, skiddy smalls 🌝

My husband was like a washer woman when I had my youngest recently as I had a c section and we have 3 other kids..my mil came round and did loads of stuff for us one day but it was her choice

Nope, and I didn’t find putting on washing all that taxing anyway. I wasn’t taking it down to the river and scrubbing it on the rocks, I was throwing it in a machine with a pod and pressing two buttons.

My Mum did a lot of folding clean laundry for me while we talked and I fed the baby, and she’d sometimes do a bit of cleaning for me, but I wouldn’t have wanted friends doing it.

I appreciated meals, cake and company, and that was it. I wouldn’t want housework doing for me, that was what DH was for.

I’d hate that. We were perfectly capable of managing our own laundry, DH did it while I recovered from two complicated c sections. I welcomed food when it was offered and people holding and admiring my amazing babies.

My mum gave me the most help and I didn't really ask anything of other people. And I wouldn't want anyone going through my dirty laundry! Most people offered to make me a cup of tea I think which is nice, and maybe washed up the mugs afterwards.

Whenever I go to visit a baby I always message the couple before I leave to ask if they need anything from a shop, so if they've run out of bread or milk I can bring it to the house with me.

Our house was at its cleanest with a newborn! My husband was home for a month and did all the housework, it was spotless. I wanted people visiting to see the baby and chat to me as usual, not ferret about in my dirty underwear.

In real life it’s not a thing that would enter anyone’s head.

It wouldn’t occur to me to ask a guest to do my laundry. Wtf?

I joked when I had DC1 that anyone who came to visit had to either bring me food, or do some housework. My best friend came via the chip shop every time she visited for about 5 years

If you’re a single mum, yes, but if you have a husband they should be doing that stuff really. (I’m talking about if you BF.)