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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
Sansan18 · 27/04/2025 18:56

If you hit a dog you have to report it so I can't understand why the driver argued with you when he came 8 to contact with a child.
Your daughter and the driver were genuinely lucky but it is best to report it.
My father's car was hit in a car park recently and he could only see a scuffed number plate so assured the driver it was ok.He's now realised his sensors are damaged and the car bonnet won't open. Human bodies are much more vulnerable and your daughter could easily have serious bruising.

ambercabs · 27/04/2025 18:56

allotmentgardener · 27/04/2025 18:15

I am a police officer.
If that happened to me and my child in that scenario I would call 999 without hesitation. That is what the police are for.
I hope your child is on the mend and isn't traumatised.

Can you tell us what the police do in this situation?

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 27/04/2025 18:57

I agree with your husband that it was an overreaction to call 999 as you had already assessed it wasn't a serious injury. It doesn't sound like he actually ran over her foot but it was definitely careless driving. I wouldn't have asked for the man's details either but I would have alerted him to what he had actually done because he obviously didn't check properly that it was clear

OhcantthInkofaname · 27/04/2025 19:01

You were not wrong. Her injury might be more intense than you realize. Bones in the foot are fragile.

BooBooDoodle · 27/04/2025 19:02

It was a narrow gap between the cars so why didn’t you assist your DD getting into the car given how close it was? I do this with my kids in case they knock other cars with the door. Huge overreaction when compared to actual emergencies those police could have attended. Surprised you weren’t done for time wasting.

Helpmybrainsmelted · 27/04/2025 19:07

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 23:24

breaking the law and an emergency are not the same thing. Definitely a police matter but not an emergency. He was breaking the law but could have been dealt with in slow time

Edited
Show quote history

Except there was a possibility of a crime in progress that risked others.

Someone hitting a child then refusing to give details raises the question of whether that person is fit to drive. If the OP had not "made a fuss" and the driver had then driven off, ploughing into a family because they were not fit to drive no doubt everyone would be saying why didn't she call it in.

Accidents happen. When they do, details need to be exchanged. When people refuse to exchange details, this indicates that they have something to hide. Even more so when a child has been hurt as most people would be absolutely mortified, concerned for the child and apologetic. His actions escalated the matter. It's weird that people are telling OP she overreacted when it's clear his reaction was not appropriate.

Topsy44 · 27/04/2025 19:15

I can understand you calling 999 if he did it on purpose but it seems like an accident to me.

SunshineRose12 · 27/04/2025 19:19

OP - I think you were quite right. I would have done exactly the same!

Screw the police being overwhelmed - I’m a law abiding, tax paying citizen, I’ll phone 999 if I feel I need to.

Buzyizzy217 · 27/04/2025 19:24

Knowing the police’s complete disregard for distraught mothers, they probably told him just to be more careful in future and that she was overreacting.
I don’t think you were, I’d have done the same.

Towwanthustice · 27/04/2025 19:27

If he'd driven off and refused his details and not reported the 'accident' to the police within 24 hrs it is an offence. (I'm ex.police).
Due to the pesence of a mv on a road an accident occurred . Ok a bit of over reaction by you to call 999 but also understandable.
Did u then swap ur details with the police?
I hope your daughter is OK. It is a reportable offence and you can claim .

Buzyizzy217 · 27/04/2025 19:32

Actually, having thought about it, I’d probably have given him the biggest mouthful he’s ever heard at the loudest volume I could manage.

Towwanthustice · 27/04/2025 19:34

IdaGlossop · 26/04/2025 17:24

At a time when we know that public services are run down, I think we all have a duty to think carefully about how we use them. 999 is a number for emergencies. This wasn't an emergency. You are also sending an odd message to your DD that the response to her being hurt and upset is to call the police. Why not an zmbulance?

If the police deemed it an non emergency they would definitely not have attended immediately.

Anjcat7 · 27/04/2025 19:37

I think you did the right thing. Hope you’re wee one is ok

Alittletaboo · 27/04/2025 19:39

There’s no reason to call 101, 999 was appropriate as it was happening there and then and had he left they would’ve struggled to prove who was the driver etc if they ever found him. If they operator had thought it wasn’t appropriate use of 999 they would’ve told you and you don’t need people on Mumsnet to validate that. It’s not an over reaction in my eyes, he’s run over a child’s foot and didn’t seem to find it a problem so I’d say he’s pretty lucky you kept your cool

GabriellaFaith · 27/04/2025 19:40

999 is for emergencies ONLY. You should not have rung the number as those resources need to be kept for people who really need them. If your situation doesn't require blue lights, do not call it. You can always call the 101 non emergency police number if you feel appropriate. So in terms of calling 999, yes, you were completely unreasonable or irresponsible.

And yes, the driver is at fault. However, he is human, mistakes are made. You knew there were people in the car (so presumably leaving soon), and they may be distracted with the music on, and your child is small so harder to spot. In this situation I would not have left a young child unattended in what you yourself decribed as a narrow space next to an occupied vehicle. I would have waited the minute it took my child to climb in, or, have her climb across from the other side.

I hope your daughter is okay mentally and physically, and I hope you reflect.

Cheswick · 27/04/2025 19:51

IdaGlossop · 26/04/2025 17:24

At a time when we know that public services are run down, I think we all have a duty to think carefully about how we use them. 999 is a number for emergencies. This wasn't an emergency. You are also sending an odd message to your DD that the response to her being hurt and upset is to call the police. Why not an zmbulance?

It's literally a hit and run accident / criminal offence. The child was injured. By law (Act 1988) the driver should provide his details (he refused) and police should be notified within 24 hours.

Sleepalldaylong · 27/04/2025 19:56

Cheswick · 27/04/2025 19:51

It's literally a hit and run accident / criminal offence. The child was injured. By law (Act 1988) the driver should provide his details (he refused) and police should be notified within 24 hours.

Show quote history

Hit and Run? Don’t be so ridiculous

JennyBG · 27/04/2025 20:02

ambercabs · 26/04/2025 17:22

I think you called the police because he minimised what happened not because you needed their assistance. The man wasn’t very nice about it but tbh all you needed was the registration number of the car, if that. Your child did not have her foot/ankle run over - the wheel must have just caught her and no more. Why did you even think you needed his details?

There’s nothing to say that the injury wouldn’t turn out to be worse than first thought. In which case, the driver would have gone, and no way to find him. Is it really worth taking that chance? I think not. He was uncooperative until police were mentioned, so he knew he was in the wrong.

Xmasxrackers · 27/04/2025 20:09

If it makes you feel any better. I called 111 when my daughter was hit by a car (small injury, no medical attention needed) in June last year. I’m still waiting do them to call back..

LivelyMintViper · 27/04/2025 20:09

Of course you didn't overreact! Your child was injured. He would not provide the legally required details. He was an arse who without your actions would doubtless carry on in a negligent way likely causing harm to others. The police may well prosecute for a driving offence. Hope they do.

Carodebalo · 27/04/2025 20:14

You did the right thing OP!

ThinWomansBrain · 27/04/2025 20:17

I would probably be slightly panicked and call 999 rather than 111 if something like this happened.
presumably 999 call handlers have the option to pass the call to the 111 team, or treat the matter with the urgency they deem it requires?

3luckystars · 27/04/2025 20:25

Tbrh · 27/04/2025 08:11

This. I think maybe in hindsight you didn't need to call the emergency number, but given your child just got their foot run over, the person is trying to leave and your husband is a useless piece of shit, I'm not surprised your adrenalin was going. Hope your daughter is ok.

Show quote history

I totally agree with you.

Helpmybrainsmelted · 27/04/2025 20:27

GabriellaFaith · 27/04/2025 19:40

999 is for emergencies ONLY. You should not have rung the number as those resources need to be kept for people who really need them. If your situation doesn't require blue lights, do not call it. You can always call the 101 non emergency police number if you feel appropriate. So in terms of calling 999, yes, you were completely unreasonable or irresponsible.

And yes, the driver is at fault. However, he is human, mistakes are made. You knew there were people in the car (so presumably leaving soon), and they may be distracted with the music on, and your child is small so harder to spot. In this situation I would not have left a young child unattended in what you yourself decribed as a narrow space next to an occupied vehicle. I would have waited the minute it took my child to climb in, or, have her climb across from the other side.

I hope your daughter is okay mentally and physically, and I hope you reflect.

He is the driver of the vehicle and he is responsible for ensuring it is safe to move his vehicle. You are blaming this woman when it is his responsibility to ensure it is saf and to move. She's already said theyd been sat in the vehicle for some time. If he's so distracted by loud music, he shouldn't be driving.

Your desire to find excuses for the man who was driving the car that hit a child and then refused to provide his details is absurd. Even more so when you are laying into the mother of the child for not being right next to her child. The child is old enough to enter a vehicle in her own. She didn't run into a road, the vehicle adjacent was stationary and the whole fuss would have been avoided if he'd just handed over his details, which he is obliged to do.

Sure, it's potentially debatable if she should have rung 999, but since the 999 operator seemed satisfied with the matter then it's a bit of a moot point. Ultimately, if someone has moved from stationary, hit a child and then reacted as this man has, it's questionable if he is fit to drive i.e. Has been drinming/insured/has a licence etc and no doubt that's why the police felt it was suitable for a swift response. I imagine you'd be the first to blame the OP, asking why she didn't call the police, if she'd let him drive off and then it turned out he was over the limit and ploughed into a family.

His actions caused the accident.
His reaction resulted in hers and the need to call the police.

MrsClatterbuck · 27/04/2025 20:30

GabriellaFaith · 27/04/2025 19:40

999 is for emergencies ONLY. You should not have rung the number as those resources need to be kept for people who really need them. If your situation doesn't require blue lights, do not call it. You can always call the 101 non emergency police number if you feel appropriate. So in terms of calling 999, yes, you were completely unreasonable or irresponsible.

And yes, the driver is at fault. However, he is human, mistakes are made. You knew there were people in the car (so presumably leaving soon), and they may be distracted with the music on, and your child is small so harder to spot. In this situation I would not have left a young child unattended in what you yourself decribed as a narrow space next to an occupied vehicle. I would have waited the minute it took my child to climb in, or, have her climb across from the other side.

I hope your daughter is okay mentally and physically, and I hope you reflect.

What is there to reflect. She called 999 and the emergency operator deemed it OK and told her it was indeed a police matter. These people are trained to answer 999 calls and know what they are doing and if they deemed it a police matter then that is what it is. The prompt response of the police also indicates that she made the right call. If this driver had been drinking and unfit to drive and caused another accident people would be berating her for not phoning the police.

HTH