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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Backpack strap cut with scissors

167 replies

IkeSmile · 26/04/2025 15:02

Hello everyone!
Back in December I needed your advice for actions against the school who covered bullying of a migrant child. Here we are again, with the same child and his backback strap being cut with a scissor. You can see in the picture that it's a clear cut.
Question?
React and complain in writing or ignore it?
I feel is the same child or a friend of his, acting like a thug? The only people wurh access to the cloakroom are teachers and the pupils.
Thank you!

Backpack strap cut with scissors
OP posts:
Superhansrantowindsor · 29/04/2025 07:09

You need to put complaint in writing. I also suggest you request a copy of the schools anti bullying policy and official complaints policy. Your poor dc having this done to him in year 3.

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 07:10

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 29/04/2025 06:32

You say 'no punishment' for the bully. How can you know that? The school won't discuss another child's discipline/behavioural issues with you anymore than they would reveal confidential data about your son to any other parent.

I think you are following the right path here though. Keep complaining politely and factually . Follow up with emails so there is a paper trail. Don't let your concerns be fobbed off.

I always ask my child, if anything happened in the school, good or bad.
For the 1st part of your answer, that child threw a chair into a child's chest and nothing was done...he recieved a "certificate for a well behaved child" at the end of the day, together with the child who cried for minutes because of the pain. Both children Irish (as the headteacher). He is always involved in violent acts, with the strong slap on Friday, and nothing is done, because he's Irish.
My concern is this is in fact the one who did it. He said in the past that he hates my son, and this is why he is bullying him.
So totally relevant if you know the full story.
But with an Irish headteacher treating children differently, you can never "win"...and the ones who lose the most are the children!
We can change the school, we can never change her ignorance though!

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 29/04/2025 07:15

StarlightLady · 29/04/2025 07:00

OP, an afterthought to add to my previous comments. Request a meeting with the Chair of Governors.

i would do this

Hoardasurass · 29/04/2025 07:21

Energe · 29/04/2025 06:58

so you do know who did it? Tell the school
the name.

Nope she doesn't know she just suspects it was the child her son had problems with last year, however as there's no evidence that it was the child that she suspects only her assumption that it was him as noone saw what happened to the bag, and thinks that this 7 year old is going to stab her child because he's been allowed to get away with it as he's Irish and so are 90% of the school students and staff. Which is a rather racist assumption from the op

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 07:22

EleanorReally · 29/04/2025 07:15

i would do this

I need to do this and make them aware of everything that's happening in the school.
Thank you!

OP posts:
IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 07:23

CheeseWisely · 29/04/2025 07:00

I’d be questioning why a class of that age have unlimited access to scissors sharp enough to cut through that strap, because average paper / arts and crafts scissors you might use in a classroom wouldn’t easily get through it. Unless of course the child is bringing a blade of some sort into school with him which is a whole other concern!

My 1st thought! Thank you!

OP posts:
Loubylie · 29/04/2025 07:27

Are you in Ireland?

AgnesX · 29/04/2025 07:28

IkeSmile · 28/04/2025 20:09

The school did nothing today. The receptionist was told to tell me to stich my sons backpack, and that she's sorry but didn't find the child who did it.
Today that child cut my childs belongings, tomorrow he's gonna stab someone's child but hay, as long as he isn't seen...he's fine, because the school doesn't care.

The problem is how do they find out, short of seeing the culprit, someone admitted or telling on the culprit. I'd there CCTV?

What the school should be trying to do is promote an anti bullying policy.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 29/04/2025 07:32

Can you look for another school for your son?

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 07:32

Obeseandashamed · 29/04/2025 06:50

i am stunned by the number of YABU votes. Not the same but when I was at school somebody was stealing pens from pencil cases. They couldn’t figure out who it was and how for weeks but the cloakroom was made inaccessible to us until they did. The school need to accept there is a problems.

This is what a normal person would think. It's not ok to cut someone's backpack. It's not normal behavior.
Thank you!

OP posts:
coldscottishmum · 29/04/2025 07:35

Is there any sort of CCTV recording of that room where the bags are left? A child has been loose with a (I suspect) sharp pair of scissors, no adult around and has damaged property. Not only upsetting for your DS having his stuff targeted but that’s quite frightening a child can do that freely with no form of repercussions?

Canterranter · 29/04/2025 07:38

mummytoonetryingfortwo · 26/04/2025 19:44

Complain to the school. Make the complaint in writing, detailing everything. The school then have to show that complaint and its resolution to Ofsted. Keep a copy of the letter as sent (dated the same date), and send it recorded delivery so they can’t deny receiving it.

No they do not have to show the complaint and resolution to Ofsted.

Op - follow the school complaints procedure, which is on their website. Be clear about what outcome you want though. I guess some assurances on how similar situations will be prevented in the future? Children shouldn't be carrying sharps around in school.
If you go to the Chair of Governors expect them to tell you they can't get involved at this stage and for them to advise you to follow the complaints procedure. Honestly, it would be wrong for a COG to randomly meet with parents who want to chat about complaints with them. They have to remain uninvolved and impartial and follow the published procedure.

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 07:46

mummytoonetryingfortwo · 26/04/2025 19:44

Complain to the school. Make the complaint in writing, detailing everything. The school then have to show that complaint and its resolution to Ofsted. Keep a copy of the letter as sent (dated the same date), and send it recorded delivery so they can’t deny receiving it.

I had no idea the school need to show it to the Ofstead. This is really helpful. ♥️
Thank you!
These the king of tips I was hopping to recieve and I'm happy you did it.

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 29/04/2025 07:49

Where are you based? You seem to be coming across as blaming a specific group of people (Irish).
You say the school is good but why is there no teacher and constant supply?
I think I would be trying to move my child.

Locallassie · 29/04/2025 07:51

I’m surprised very little has been made of your constant references to the issue being the ‘Irish’ staff and children. Change this for another group and it would not be acceptable. You appear to be hinting that the staff and pupils are victimising anyone who isn’t Irish which is frankly unbelievable.
Scissors will be available in every primary classroom. They won’t be removed in this situation.

WhySoManySocks · 29/04/2025 07:53

Locallassie · 29/04/2025 07:51

I’m surprised very little has been made of your constant references to the issue being the ‘Irish’ staff and children. Change this for another group and it would not be acceptable. You appear to be hinting that the staff and pupils are victimising anyone who isn’t Irish which is frankly unbelievable.
Scissors will be available in every primary classroom. They won’t be removed in this situation.

I read this as the OP being in Ireland and making a point that minority children (immigrants ie non-Irish) are being systematically bullied.

Viviennemary · 29/04/2025 07:54

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 06:21

Good morning! I have left the backpack in a bag at the schools reception explaining what happened and saying that this needs to be looked at. I recieved a phone back at 4pm; the same receptionist told me that the headteacher said she "investigated and no one recognised he/she did it and the case is closed"...and I should probably stich my child's backpack. My son said that he was indeed in the headteachers office but briefly asked about it. Another child was slapped in the face on Friday by the one who was bullying my child in the past, but with no punishment, of course. The slapped child is a migrant aswell. So racism at its best!!!!
Thank you! I will ask if the children are gonna be spoken about the anti-bullying policy, ...again.

The school is not dealing with this bully. Complain to the LA and Governors re bullying. Or change schools

WhySoManySocks · 29/04/2025 07:54

I’d move my children to a different school. There will be little bullies everywhere but the school’s response is inadequate and the lack of permanent teachers is very concerning.

Locallassie · 29/04/2025 08:02

WhySoManySocks · 29/04/2025 07:53

I read this as the OP being in Ireland and making a point that minority children (immigrants ie non-Irish) are being systematically bullied.

Schools will not disclose any measures in place to manage another child. The tone doesn’t lie well with me as it’s suggesting the problem is simply that the Irish staff and pupils are somehow ganging up on everyone who isn’t Irish.

Canterranter · 29/04/2025 08:04

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 07:46

I had no idea the school need to show it to the Ofstead. This is really helpful. ♥️
Thank you!
These the king of tips I was hopping to recieve and I'm happy you did it.

That's because they don't have to show it to Ofsted. I'm a retired governance professional, it's up to you, but I've posted above on the most effective way to complain about this. Use the complaints procedure.

Don't waste your money on recorded deliveries either - what drama. You can email your complaint in with a read receipt. However the complaints procedure will tell you that the school have to acknowledge your complaint within a certain number of days - usually within 5 days - so you'd quickly know if they hadn't picked it up.

CatCaretaker · 29/04/2025 08:05

IkeSmile · 29/04/2025 07:46

I had no idea the school need to show it to the Ofstead. This is really helpful. ♥️
Thank you!
These the king of tips I was hopping to recieve and I'm happy you did it.

Are you in Ireland (the republic)? Ofsted don't operate here. You also seem to be implying that the headteacher, as well as all of the other teachers, are racist (as they're not doing anything because the perpetrator is Irish). There are bad apples here for sure, but that the entire teaching cohort in a school is openly racist seems unlikely. Incompetent principal with substitute teachers who are young and intimidated by the principal I could more readily believe.

I'm using the Irish names for things (principal etc.) for things here but I'm assuming that you're in Ireland.

uthredswife · 29/04/2025 08:15

CatCaretaker · 29/04/2025 08:05

Are you in Ireland (the republic)? Ofsted don't operate here. You also seem to be implying that the headteacher, as well as all of the other teachers, are racist (as they're not doing anything because the perpetrator is Irish). There are bad apples here for sure, but that the entire teaching cohort in a school is openly racist seems unlikely. Incompetent principal with substitute teachers who are young and intimidated by the principal I could more readily believe.

I'm using the Irish names for things (principal etc.) for things here but I'm assuming that you're in Ireland.

The op is also talking about year 2 and 3 which makes no sense in an irish context. A 7 year old would be in 1st or 2nd class. Saying everyone racist is Irish without saying its in Ireland is very odd. All our schools are very multicultural now. It's just a weird post.

Ophy83 · 29/04/2025 08:17

As a starting point, are you actually sure the bag has been cut? I ask because I had a backpack strap that broke in exactly that way - a straight line. I think it is the way the strap is manufactured

phinalinabeena · 29/04/2025 08:17

Go onto the school's website and look up their policies on bullying, safeguarding and also complaints.

Put everything in writing, even if you get a phone call, follow it up with an email to confirm what was agreed or said on the phone call. You can install a voice recorder app onto your phone which automatically records the calls so you can refer back to it. My own phone will write a transcript of any phone call I make.

Follow their procedures from their policies and use their language, ie use the word safeguarding. Most scissors in classrooms would struggle to cut through a bag strap, they are for paper and cardboard (usual red scissors or the left handed green and yellow ones) so I would be raising a concern that a child has brought scissors into school which is serious.

Because they know a child has entered the cloakroom and done this they should be putting monitoring in place. At the start and end of the day there is usually a member of staff lurking to keep an eye on them. If a child leaves the classroom to go to the toilet then this should be noted so that if anything occurs like a bag strap being cut then they can question the children who potentially had access to it.

Question285 · 29/04/2025 08:19

I agree with the others who said it might be best to find a different school.

I know it feels unfair, but it might be what’s best for your child. This school is obviously not dealing with the bullying appropriately. Even if you complain to the governors, it can be a very lengthy process to get a resolution. I would complain, but also find another school at the same time.

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