Anxious and upset over driving error

[ExhaustedBeyondBelief22]

First off I want to start by saying I was at fault here - and I hold my hands up and admit that. I'm very fragile at the moment with a 5.5 month old that hasn't slept in weeks and a 3.5 year old who's been ill and in our bed every night too.

I am exhausted and made an error at a roundabout, cutting in front of another driver - I completely misjudged their indication and cut in front of them at the exit. My baby was asleep in the back and I wasn't paying attention. As soon as I realised my mistake I put my hazards on and held my hand up to the mirror in an apology - the driver then proceeded to drive very close to my bumper the whole way down the road, flashing and beeping at me. By this point I was in tears, she then proceeded to pull up alongside me shouting and swearing, took a picture of my car and drove off. I was shaking and very distressed. I pride myself on being a very careful driver and I had tried to apologise as best I could. I'm so upset and feel as though I've been very aggressively harassed. I'm also feeling very anxious and vulnerable about the picture - I don't understand why she took it or what she plans to do with it. I know I was unreasonable in my error, but am I being unreasonable in feeling as though this was a very extreme/aggressive reaction? I know I'm opening myself up to some harsh comments here, please can I ask you be kind in your responses - honesty is great, but I've had more than enough aggression and vitriol directed at me today.

They were a shit to you. I had similar last summer when I didn't realise the exit had two lanes and starting to position myself centrally to exit. Guy ( it's always bloody men) drove alongside me gesticulating and shouting at me. For what it's worth I always make sure I am behind other cars at roundabouts and not too close because people often get confused and inadvertently cut you up.

Edit to add, whoops, I see you had this issue with a woman. That'll teach me to make sweeping statements!

Some of the posters here are dicks. I hope you pay them no mind. People make mistakes even when not exhausted. The other driver was out of order, and I have experienced similar road rage( been in receipt of it) chalk it up to experience and put it behind you.

We all make mistakes. You apologised. No long term damage done. The other driver is clearly either crazy, or going through some major crap herself. Either way, she massively overreacted, so you shouldn’t give it another thought. When someone cuts me up I might give them the finger but that’s the end of it. Anyone who carries the anger further than the immediate moment must have something wrong with them!

I'm so upset and feel as though I've been very aggressively harassed

Thats because you have been aggressively harassed. A ridiculous overreaction to a small mistake which everyone has made. Something seriously wrong with her if you ask me.

So when you have had a ‘proper scare’ you give others a ‘proper scare’, how charming is that!

Honestly since when is pulling out on someone on a roundabout while driving a “small mistake”? You’d have failed if you did it during your driving test, it is a major, not a minor mistake and could easily have caused an accident.

OP was lucky it didn’t, and the way the woman behaved wasn’t great, but don’t minimise what OP has done here as just a little mistake like forgetting to turn off your windscreen wipers.

You made one split second error. She chose to drive badly and dangerously for an extended period.

everyone makes mistakes, no one was hurt, you apologised. Yes try to be more aware in future but mainly the lesson to learn from this is that the next time someone makes a mistake that you have to react to and rectify, be gracious about it.

Someone did that to DH, fairly similar circumstances and she chased us for 30 miles on our tail on a country road until we got to town. She sat on the horn and up our bum right up until we hit other traffic. It was a huge 4WH and truly scary.

Yes, it was his fault but the scale of the aggression was worrying.

I agree, but....if the OP started a thread saying that she was exhausted from night wakings and was considering sleep training she'd get jumped on for that. If she started a thread saying that she hadn't left the house for 3 days and her toddler was climbing the walls she'd be firmly told that everyone else with babies and toddlers manages, now get over yourself and take the kids out.

Etcetera etcetera 🙄

The toddler is poorly. She could’ve just stayed in. I’m sorry but when you’re driving you have a duty of care to passengers, and other road users. What if the woman she had pulled out on didn’t react in time and crashed into her?

You can get out of the house with a toddler and a baby without driving when you're absolutely exhausted, though. She's very lucky she didn't cause an accident.

I had this recently, although I didn’t make a mistake, I had a very aggressive and dangerous driver behind me very upset that I decided to stop to let someone out.

He then proceeded to beep constantly at me for 400m, swearing constantly. When I pulled over to let him past, he swerved to feign hitting my car and spat out of his window at my car. All while having a young child in the front with no seatbelt.

I rang the police to be told no crime was committed and I should work on my emotions if I was scared or intimidated.

Some people are just utter cunts. Please try not to let it ruin your day. I get it, it ended up ruining my day but he probably didn’t think about it again.

..🙄always one!

She probably took the picture to put the frightners on you and make you think she was going to report you. Personally I'd forget about it and move on. People experience these things all the time. I very much doubt your paths will ever cross again but when you haven't slept in weeks and are exhausted, avoid driving because your next mistake might not end with you cutting in front of someone. It might end with a pedestrian underneath your car.

I did that on one of my driving tests. Everyone waited patiently whilst I completed my ill-thought out manoeuvre.

You make a small error, OP, nobody was harmed. This woman taking a photo of you and then driving aggressively at you, is a dick who committed many. I also would bet that she wouldn't do that to a man.

You'll think about it for a while but please, give it it's due place in your 'daft things that happened this week' and stop dwelling on it. As soon as you like. It's all fine.

People’s personalities change when they get in a car, the mildest mannered person can become a raging ball of fury when they think they’ve been slighted on the roads. This is absolutely true.

You know that driving while so exhausted was probably not the wisest thing and I am sure you will take the proper steps not to let it happen again.

You made an error - you held your hands up to it and the other driver was just plain rude and responded with dangerous driving of her own.

She clearly did not know of your exhaustion that caused your error, and it may be that she too had some problem of which we are not aware that caused her behaviour, so best to simply put it all behind you - lesson learned. Just enjoy those little ones.

Take care.

Everyone makes mistakes. She was outrageous, because if someone cuts you up and apologises, you leave it there. Only idiots won't leave it alone.
Try to relax, you know you won't do it again and the other driver will calm down. Yours was an honest mistake, hers was deliberate, so worse.

I've been driving for a long time and consider myself a good driver but we all make mistakes because we are human beings not robots. You did the right thing by apologising. She did the wrong thing by harassing you over something I can guarantee she will have done herself at some point. Had the police seen her ridiculous and potentially dangerous tailgating behaviour, more than likely they would have pulled her over. Don't let a momentary lapse effect your confidence. No-one was injured, no cars were damaged and you apologised. She behaved appallingly.

no kicking, but I wouldn't drive if you are feeling exhausted as it can lead to errors of judgement.

secondly, get a dashcam, if you had one then her aggressive behaviour would be recorded, so if she reported you for anything, you would have evidence of the incident and her aggression.

Was the twat driver still driving whilst taking a photo on her phone? I’d be reporting her for that!

I say this with kindness but you should not be driving in that condition.

The other driver an absolute a hole and not worth giving a second thought to.

It’s funny because if someone does something like cut me up, I feel myself getting frustrated, but when they apologise, my heart weirdly melts and I feel all guilty 😅

Just ignore her OP. We all make mistakes and you held your hand up and admitted yours. We are but human, after all.

Jesus, I didn't say it was the right thing to do just that some people react to near misses aggressively.

She won’t do anything with the photo because it will incriminate her for using a phone whilst driving. Her over reaction is more of an issue. Flying into a blind rage because someone wasn’t perfect is a big reason why so many drivers don’t deserve their licences. Would love to see regular check up tests, at least for those accruing points on their licence.

Clearly the other driver is absolutely perfect and has never ever made a mistake in her whole entire life!!!

I know it's so much easier said than done but please try not to torture yourself about this. As another poster said, one driver was being a dick but that was not you. Everybody makes mistakes, no matter how careful they are. It's awful when you pride yourself on being careful. You know you're not a dick and meant no harm at all.

I also pride myself on being considerate and careful but I unintentionally pissed off someone as I was stepping off a train recently. She had been still getting her luggage off the train but I was exhausted, wasn't really looking in her direction and stepped out of the door before she'd got both massive cases out. She said I was incredibly rude, I tried to apologise (more than once), she ignored me and stormed off. People forget we're only human and not out to get them.