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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think kids move schools too much

79 replies

wakingimpossible · 26/04/2025 08:28

Ok, I know there are lots of reasons for children to change schools- bullying, poor standards, relocation etc, but aside from this, I just can’t believe the amount of moving around that has gone on at DDs schools. I’m talking about primary and secondary (for transparency, this is in the private system and I don’t know if it’s the same at state). It’s not something I ever experienced as a child - indeed I basically had the same classmates aged 4-12 and 12-18.

In year 6 the class of 20 had about 8 original pupils from reception remaining, and it looks to be going the same way in secondary. Many of these pupils have just gone to another school in the same town or nearby.

Parents seem to whip their kids out for all sorts of reasons - friendship issues that would likely resolve in time, not liking a particular teacher, getting specific bees in their bonnets about eg sport, school trips, the lunch offering - maybe thinking maybe that the grass is greener. But no school is perfect.

DD has gone to just one school for primary and secondary and, yes, it’s not always been smooth sailing. We’ve weathered friendship problems, bad heads, low level bullying, less than brilliant teachers and disruptive classmates. Of course, I know I am lucky that these have been largely surmountable and of course I would move her if she/I was genuinely happy over an extended period. But, in general, I’ve found that most things do work themselves out over the course of one school year.

Each to their own, I know, but I can’t help but feel this has a negative effect on the school community and is setting a poor example to children about resilience, figuring things out and seeing things through.

Preparing to be flamed but please don’t think I’m getting at people whose kids have been genuinely miserable and needed to leave. I’m just wondering if parents need to consider whether problems/gripes should be worked through a bit more.

OP posts:
BuildbyNumbere · 28/04/2025 22:37

So you’ve put up with bad heads and inadequate teachers .., and your paying for that?!?!

Mandylovescandy · 28/04/2025 22:46

My friend moved her child and it was a combination of all the issues - friendship problems, poor teacher, weird school policies... Her child was desperately unhappy and if it had been just one thing she might have worked on it but everything together wasn't going to come right. Was definitely right decision as the new school is much better and they are just happier despite it being less convenient drive, having to make new friends etc.

Duechristmas · 20/08/2025 13:40

This has been my experience as a teacher in a couple of schools. One was next to the university and took lots of students children and migrant children, another is in a rough area where parents move in and out of rented properties rapidly, and again a high turnover of migrant children.
I have also definitely experienced parents pulling them out for minor inconveniences. As my old head always said, they'll have the same problems in the next school.

Runnersandtoms · 20/08/2025 13:45

Not my experience. Three kids went through infant, junior and secondary. Hardly anyone moved school mid-year. Only a tiny number moved between school years and mostly only due to moving house. I know one person who decided to home school in year 4 and has done so ever since (6 years now), and one person who moved schools due to being unhappy there.

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