visits to the dentist aren’t that hard

[Redcarbluevan]

On every thread about being a SAHM or splitting household tasks one things pop up as being very difficult and time consuming: visits to the dentist.

We visit the dentist twice a year. The appointments are after school and the kids are all seen at the same time. Before we leave we’ll book the next appointment. All in all it takes 60 mins a year. Granted if your child needs braces it will take longer… why do people act like it’s just a big job, and note it as a key life admin task?

A time to suit? Give over, you might get a time to suit at the time but it ends up being rearranged a bunch of times.

Your experience of the dentist is like a blast from the past OP.

DS had to have quite extensive dental work then braces which meant me having to arrange time in my work diary to pick him up from school, take him to the dentist in the opposite direction, take him back to school then get back to work myself. It was generally a 2.5 hour round trip every six weeks for a few years. DS also hated the dentist so yeah for me, dental appointments were hard.

Book the dentist in the school hols when ypu are off with them

It’s generally listed as part of the “life admin” that takes up so much time. Often a bullet point on that list will be “DC dentist/medical appointments” even if the children have no medical issues that require frequent appointments.

I agree with OP that appointments like these are not significant.

It seems that we are lucky with our dentist in that you can book appointments 6 months in advance. I always book after each appointment and it goes straight into my diary on my phone.

I’ve answered that - 5 weeks annual leave, usually at least two away on holiday. Chances of an appointment being available within the remaining three weeks are pretty much zero, even when booked 6m in advance. Not just for me, for everyone.

Individually most of the household tasks are not that big a deal, it’s the cumulative amount that is the issue. My exh actually apologised after he left me because finally he realised what it took to simply run a household for one person in his case (plus ddog), he realised that producing healthy scratch cooked meals daily wasn’t easy, including getting ingredients in many that couldn’t be shopped for just once a week, appointments just for him (because I managed all of his for him as well as all household budgets etc etc) then add 2 dc one with sn and further health concerns, I worked pt and couldn’t have managed more which he thought was lazy at the time but now says he’s really sorry for saying so!

If only it was that easy...

Context is everything. It’s one of many parts of life admin, a much longer list of “to do’s”, and usually it relates to those with useless DH’s who let it all fall on the wife. It’s not like people are saying that those appointments alone are difficult or challenging. Let’s not pretend that they are saying that those appointments alone are hard, thereby minimising the point. Also we’re all human beings, with our own personal limitations which it appears is difficult for some to comprehend.

I end up paying £500 a year at least. Even the hygienist is £100 now. This year I need 2 new dental implants, some bleaching snd braces as my wonky front tooth is getting worse. It's horrendous. Somerset is expensive dental central.
I have to go back to Sussex for the implants I can't afford them here.
I see so many people from 30 onwards going around with no teeth now.

I think it very much depends on circumstances.

I don't find it difficult at all, however;

My dentist is actually private - they do a practice plan, so I pay £15 a month for me and DS (11) which makes it very affordable.

I have one child with no additional needs and he has never needed treatment. I have had the odd minor thing done.

We can book 6 months in advance and they can easily accommodate either after school or school holidays (I am a teacher so works for me).

Never had an appointment cancelled/rescheduled.

All works well.

However, if you have multiple children and/or children with additional needs, a dentist who offers limited NHS appointments, or can't accommodate after school/school holidays, or constantly cancels appointments, it probably is more difficult.

You must be lucky to have a dentist where that's possible, I've been at the same dentist since my children were young, it used to be relatively straight forward to get regular 6 monthly check ups when it suited me but since covid I'm lucky to get one in the next 9 months and then it will probably be cancelled

I don't know if you're trying to be helpful or snide but getting to the dentist is a valid struggle for many

It's not so simple.

It is

I’m not a SAHM, but juggling multiple appointments can definitely feel challenging at times. I have 4 kids and the appointment schedule includes:

• dentist every 6-months, you can probably guarantee that at least 1 kid will have some kind of dental emergency or pain needing an ad hoc one. Add orthodontist at braces stage
• paediatrician - all 4 have 6 monthly visits
• audiology - 2 of them have hearing tests every 6 months at the moment due to grommets
• behavioural optometrist - 2 go every 6 months
• paediatric surgeon - 1 has an appointment every 6-12 months to check on a retractile testicle
• ENT - 2 have grommets, and are on alternating 6 monthly appointments
• physio - I have 3 in high level sport, and 2 of them have periods of needing physiotherapy appointments
• psychology - 2 of them see a psychologist at varying frequencies
• GP appointments to get referrals to some of the aforementioned specialists, which need to be done every 12-months

That’s all before adding in GP appointments for illness or unexpected things that crop up….. and I don’t even think any of my kids are high needs as individuals, but with 4 of them, those things add up. Some weeks I easily feel like I could fill my time as a SAHP with all the various commitments!

You must know that all dentists are not like yours, if you have an NHS dentist where you can choose a suitable appointment time you need to guard that with your life, it's really not like that all over

I don’t think in general people mean that the dentist appointment itself is particularly challenging or requires much high level planning or organising - totally appreciate this depends on your dentist and your kids needs of course! No nhs dentist available near us so we’re all private, and thankfully that does seem to mean that they let you book appointments in advance at convenient times! DS had to have a procedure done which required a few appointments and which meant some coordination required to take him to those and to then to look after DD.

It’s more that it’s just another thing on the list that needs to be arranged and coordinated. And it’s often taken for granted by one parent that it’s entirely the responsibility of the other one.

I’m very grateful my dentist opens Sundays!

So like everyone else you book well in advance. You know it has to happen so just bite the bullet and do it.

My dentist is literally in another country. I live in Wales, I have to travel to Manchester because that's the only NHS dentist I could get. Trying to coordinate four children and my own appointments to all be on the same day is hard enough, but everyone else is trying to get appointments in the school holidays as well.

I also can only get appointments for every 9 months or so and have to book them that far in advance. I can't book AL 9 months in advance.

Not snide at all. It appears that we have better dental provision from reading about all the difficulties everyone is having.

I pay £8 each for my children’s private dentist check up
£16 for over 13s

Quite.

What new made-up bollocks is this?

And as if the OP doesn't know that some people can't even find an NHS dentist for their families. Yeah, riiiight.

You said:

On every thread about being a SAHM or splitting household tasks one things pop up as being very difficult and time consuming: visits to the dentist.

Yawn. Another “it’s easy for me so why isn’t easy for you” post.