Would you do this to ensure your dc could go to a good private school?

[Greenshoess]

I was absolutely sure I wanted DD to go to a private school. With this in mind I saved a lot in the toddler years and with some family help I now have 150k ready to go for her schooling. Her father is on board and ready to pay half the fees on top of maintenance (we are separated).

She is due to start school in September and I am now really itching to use this money to pay off the rest of my mortgage (I owe 200k). I feel tired of work and life in general and just want to go part time which obviously I could do if I got rid of most of the mortgage. The state schools round here aren’t good, there’s no pretending they are and this is making me so conflicted. I guess I’m wondering if people think the sacrifice is worth it, if you did it are you glad you did?

Completely agree with this. If you support your DD through state education, she can come out on top and have had a really good experience.

I think if it is for "education" that could be taken quite broadly, especially if it isn't enough for more than 2 years (even rounding down to £20k pa as a rough average it's only 4 years and not accounting for extras and uniform etc). I'm sure the intention wasn't to have her start primary then not be able to finish, for example. I'd clarify but they might be happy using it for 1:1 tuition, clubs and educational experiences and holidays over the summer, for example.

Yes that is fine but not for her mortgage which is what she wants to use it

saying I have decided to not send her and can I use it to supplement her education or but it into an account for when she is 18 is fine

but ultimately the OP got 80k from relatives for her daughter- she shouldn’t just decide it is fine to spend that on her mortgage.

Sounds like you have good earning potential . Don’t waste it.
The other thing to consider is that many private schools will have good wrap around care provisions whereas state good provision is more hit and miss . Don’t forget longer school holidays to find child care for though…

My kids primary aged are at private schools, they are picked up by school minibus at 7:30 and return home the same way at 5:45 having done after school clubs. This makes my full time job easier.

There is good wrap around care as well at the school if you lived nearer and wanted to drop off early…

Reception is about socializing the child. You get years which are difficult because of behavioral / SEN issues and years that are fine .

Your partner won’t pay towards the mortgage but will contribute towards education.

Not an easy decision .

I think as more than half of the money has been gifted you really have to spend it on what it was intended for.

Also how does your her father feel about it? He should get an equal say in his daughter’s education and you can’t make such a dramatically different choice about her education without consulting him

Also presumably if she is starting in September you have the place already sorted? And no state school place? And a Dad who is on board with the plan?

Private school all the way.

My dc are in private and it’s really the best money we are spending. I read the threads on state schooling here and I cannot identify but also am so grateful that we can send them private. It’s not just about the education, it’s also about their entire schooling experience that also shapes them.

Start her at state primary and see what the reality is. DD's state school was amazing and routinely went over and above to meet her needs. That wasn't reflected in the OFSTED rating.

Start over paying the mortgage a little every month.

Keep the money in reserve so if your DD's school isn't meeting her needs you have other options.

I would pay down the mortgage but stay full time and save for private at secondary where it will make most difference. A big spanner might be a divorce - what if your ex meets someone else and wants to progress that relationship. Will he want half the house etc.

Are GDST ones not proper private schools? What’s the difference pls? GDST lesser than? Thanks

Exactly how bad are the state skools? Details please, with diagrams.

A primary class of 38 is probably two classes in one, in practical terms. This worked fine for my nieces and nephews

Impossible for strangers on the internet to tell you whether private school would offer value for money

Please don't automatically assume that private = better

@luckycat888 Oh god no! GDST are private and by and large they’re good schools!

But it like anything, there are levels to it. GDST schools are still good, but you can’t compare them to something like Sevenoaks or Tonbridge - because they’re so very different in every way. GDST is 9-5, five days a week. Sevenoaks or Tonbridge (my local examples) are more like 8-6 six days a week - lots more extracurricular activities etc. it also costs nearly twice as much! Education wise it’s different as well, for example in my nieces year her GDST sent 3 girls to Oxbridge, but her boyfriend’s school (Tonbridge) sent 25 according to their press. (Plus several to Ivy League in the States).

They’re just very different and GDST ones are, IME, at the cheaper end. But they’re still very good schools.

But somewhere like Sevenoaks or Tonbridge is as different from a GDST school as a GDST school is from a bad local comprehensive.

And what sort of private school OP chooses will have a massive effect on her finances. Right now she could fund her daughters who education in secondary and sixth form at a GDST one, but only fund secondary at Sevenoaks (for example).

Pay off the mortgage. Start saving again for private at secondary. Supplement state primary with some extra private tuition and some after school clubs (mix of sports and arts). We have done this with all of ours except one who we felt was struggling at the state primary so we opted to do 2 years of private primary/prep - it was a total waste of cash!!

Private school in a heartbeat