Would you do this to ensure your dc could go to a good private school?

[Greenshoess]

I was absolutely sure I wanted DD to go to a private school. With this in mind I saved a lot in the toddler years and with some family help I now have 150k ready to go for her schooling. Her father is on board and ready to pay half the fees on top of maintenance (we are separated).

She is due to start school in September and I am now really itching to use this money to pay off the rest of my mortgage (I owe 200k). I feel tired of work and life in general and just want to go part time which obviously I could do if I got rid of most of the mortgage. The state schools round here aren’t good, there’s no pretending they are and this is making me so conflicted. I guess I’m wondering if people think the sacrifice is worth it, if you did it are you glad you did?

State primary, pay of mortgage, go part time, send her to private for secondary. This was what I did and no regrets.

I think if family have given £80k to support your daughters education that money isn’t yours to do with as you choose. That doesn’t necessarily sending her private but I’d be clear in showing how it was being spent to enrich her education. Have you asked your family for their view about what you want to do with their money?

You're getting itchy feet and "tired of work" solely because you've got the money sitting there.

Obviously, plans can change, but I think if the original plan was to use it to pay for private school then you should at least give it a go.

That being said, £150k isn't going to get you through an entire private school career from 4-18. The cheapest private school near me is over £15k a year, and the best are over £20k.

I’d do private school over mortgage personally.

was always the plan with one but then we decided to have another as we have no other family &
i worried about her being all alone if anything happened to us. 2 would have been tight but just about possible but i had twins &
it was then a no go. I’d still give her siblings over private school (luckily state school is one of the better ones) but i’d do private school over paying mortgage.

having recently been in one (via work) it’s miles away from anything she’ll ever get in even the top performing state schools here

How can she send her to private for secondary if she has spent the money on her mortgage and gone part time?

It depends on the private school. But yes I would prioritise education over most things. You've able to save anything massive amount so paying off your mortgage shouldn't take long.

Good question:). I was thinking more in terms of priorities tbh. Go part time and mortgage would be more important than wasting money on private education on primary level.

Exactly
If OP runs out of money and is till PT and its time for Secondary then what?
Private for Secondary is more important than at Primary IMO

38 in a class is very unusual….is that with one teacher? What is the PAN for the year?

Start state primary and see how it goes. It's nice from a local friends perspective and being part of the community. Then consider if you really want to go private at either 7+ or 11+. You could stick a bit in your mortgage so your monthly payments decrease, but you do have time.

But how far would you be going realistically to get into catchment for a Good or Outstanding Primary school? 5 miles, 10, 30? A lot changes when a child starts school. They have a lot less time to spend hanging out with family for starters. But if you are relying on family for wrap around support irrespective of state or private then stay put while she is little.

How part-time are you considering? Is your job something you could go part time in for a few years and start her in a private prep at 7/8 and go back full-time or are you burning your bridges?

£150k is going to last 7-10yrs at best. So you don't have enough savings to go through the whole way if you go part-time. How committed is your ex to his share? Still manageable if he had another family?

Depends on the state schools, how bad are they, do you actually know for sure they are that bad.
We were thinking private school or to move house for our DC as the local state to where we were was not going to suit him and had a bad rep for a few issues and we were too far from other schools to guarantee entry.
We moved house instead of going private, right next to a top state secondary and he is thriving.
The local state we were near was and is good for some pupils, who do do well there.

38 children in a class in EYFS/KS1 - are you sure?? That's not legal, is it? They're capped at 30 and go over by 1 or 2 in exceptional circumstances such as a mistake in admissions or a LAC moving late to the area.

If the state schools are poor and infant class sizes that big then I'd prioritise private school. Normally I would say use a decent state school unless money is no object (I teach in an independent and our actual teaching is no better than a good state school - it's the other opportunities, extra curriculars, facilities, resources and time with consistent, full time, subject specialist staff that you pay for really).

Also, if you were gifted the money for education then surely you need to use it for education. Or was it more of an inheritance 'yours to do what you like with'?

Quality of life is more important, pay off the mortgage

We had 32 in ours and 5 SEN in one class (they kept trying to mix them up more as the years went on but the other class didn't want them and pushed back!).

I'm not in your position 😅 (well done by the way, on saving hard🙌) but I would pay off the mortgage and go part time!

Your dd would benefit from having you home with her more, and having you be happy and not exhausted and stressed!

If her dad can pay towards the schooling, I'd start her out and see how it goes - you can always go back to full time hours if need be to pay the fees! But having your mortgage paid off will be invaluable ❤️

Gifted generally or gifted for your DDs private school fees?

because if it is the latter you cannot pay the mortgage off with it

But it's not enough for more than a few years of private education.

it is half of the amount her ex is putting in half

bit still what have people gifted her £80,000 shot in general or towards her DDs schooling because if it is towards schooling and she then uses it to pay off her mortgage and send her DD to state school there may be consequences of that

I'd either stick with the private school plan, or move to an area with good state schools (and accept you will have to leave friends and family). No way would I send my child to a bad school if I had other options. You can supplement an OK state primary education with tutoring and extracurriculars, but you can't undo bad teaching and disruption in a poor school.

And unless you have health issues, I think it's a bit short-sighted to go pt at age 39, that is before the peak of most people's earning power and most people would expect to be working ft for decades beyond that.

If you want to pay off your mortgage. Give your family back the money. They gave it for your kids education not your mortgage.

Sounds like over half of the money came from family. Did they give it for her schooling? If so, seems very unfair to use it for your mortgage. I know that once given, the money is yours to use as you like, but I’d be upset if I had given this money and you changed its use without discussion.

This is really good advice.
I would say state school for primary - especially if you can go part time.
Save your money for senior school if needed….

Your child will do well in any school if they have parents who look after and support them well. Paying off the mortgage will give you and your family many freedoms.

Do you want me to be honest or sugar coat it? Going part time at 39 is nothing short of lazy.

You’ll be doing your daughter a great disservice sending her to the local sink school.

If you are looking for validation of your choices there are a million people on this forum who hate private schools. There will be plenty of people on here telling you to take the money and spend it on yourself.