To tell DH he is being ridiculous. Can't cope with him when he's ill

[plsdont88]

DH has diarrhea, caught from our toddler daughter.

I cannot cope with him. DD is better now so running circles round me when we are home, I'm working full time, coming home and dealing with everything there, tea, washing, DD, bath time, bed time etc etc all while DH either lies in bed or mopes about (yes in the dressing gown of doom too).

He will not stop going on and on about how ill he is (but can sit and eat Easter eggs all day by the looks of the bin when I got home tonight).

Texting me at work with links to illnesses he thinks he has, asking me to go to the shop to get him certain drinks or snacks he fancies, talking in a stupid whiney voice, telling me repeatedly that his tummy is really hurting or how shit he feels, asking me to take his temp 10 times a day (not got one)

Honestly I'm so past caring. It's been 3 days, DD was awful last week and even SHE wasn't as whiney (she's 3!).

I honestly just want to tell him to shut up now, I get it, he feels shit. I can't remember the last time I got the luxury of just lying in bed for 3 days doing absolutely nothing while he ran ragged even when I have been ill. I'm sick of looking at him, sick of hearing him, sick of him looking at me expecting me to... I don't know? Fawn over how poorly he is I guess.

It's not the fact he's ill, it's the silly neediness as if he's a child.

Arghhhhhhh AIBU to just not be able to muster much sympathy here.

When you have diarrhoea, you can still eat anything you want because it’s not the kind of tummy bug that causes nausea. It’s not a “sign” of anything except confusing nausea & vomiting with diarrhoea.

Hmmmm I like being looked after when I’m poorly. As long as it goes both ways, it’s fine. The issue is that he doesn’t step up when you’re ill. Next time, just take to your bed yourself and let him crack on.

Maybe read the post properly before you lay into the OP. She clearly stated he has no temperature and is non stop whining about how ill he is yet is well enough to research possible illnesses on the internet and send these over to her whilst also requesting drinks and snacks he’d like. You are so gullible if you think these are the symptoms and behaviours of a very ill person unable to lift even a finger around the home or at the very least stop irritating the person running the show single handedly whilst working a job also!

I had a tummy bug a few weeks ago. I had a grand total of one afternoon to feel sorry for myself before the kids got home at tea time and I had to get up, although I did then go to bed when they did in the early evening. I felt rough for a couple of days (but still managed daily life) and couldn’t eat sweet stuff for about a week. He’s either exaggerating symptoms or is making himself worse eating a load of crap so at this point I’d be losing any patience or sympathy I had.

Alas op you missed The Window Of Opportunity...
Day 1....you wholeheartedly agree he is sooo poorly he absolutely must take himself off to bed..
You close the bedroom door after him. Accidentally drop your phone down the sofa and get on with your day /week /month.
Embrace the peace. Any signs of Impeding Death (in his opinion) you ring his dm /dsis /and insist they must come and tend to him in his Death Throes...
This action i
On day 1 absolutely works..
Ime.

Yeah, if he can eat chocolate he’s not that ill. It’s the last thing a normal person wants when they have an actual illness. And most adults know not to eat it when they have a tummy bug even if they can face the thought of it.

Most people can manage to get themselves plain, healthy food if they’re not well, unless on death’s door.

It sounds like OP has been happy to make him food alongside the rest of the family, but it’s the special requests and desire for Molly-coddling that’s the issue when the OP is already juggling work and an actual child.

He needs to realise it’s not all about him!

You'd have to be pretty stupid to be eating food with laxative qualities in that situation though.

Oh shhhh ffs

I read the post “properly”

You can be very ill even without a fever.

You can research illness on the internet even when dying- Betsy Arakawa was researching and ordering oxygen the day she died and seen food shopping hours before she died of Hanta virus.

I don’t like the spitefulness on display on here, not in the OP or the responses. There is clearly zero feelings of caring or empathy for when a person is sick which makes me wonder why even be with them as a partner?

Well people who are ill are not known for clarity of thought or energy to get the food/drink they need.

I think at least part of the OP's point here is that he wouldn't run round after her if she was ill, he'd just expect her to cope, so what's sauce for the goose...

Clearly that is toxic and should not be encouraged either way.

Not true! When you have any kind of gastro-virus, whether it’s causing vomiting and diarrhoea or just diarrhoea, you should not be eating anything high in fat and sugar - your stomach and bowels can’t cope with it and you will prolong your illness. You need to rest your gut, drink as much water as you can, and eat only plain food (or nothing at all).

You’re missing what I have said,
He is likely just grabbing what is closest and easiest because he doesn’t have the energy to make the food/drink he should be having.
When you have diarrhoea you CAN eat anything, that is very different from what you SHOULD be eating and drinking.
OP implies she isn’t doing anything for him food/drink wise as he has requested food/snacks but all she sees in the bin at the end of the day are Easter chocolate wrappers.

I was less needy than this man when I had cancer and was on chemo.

He needs to man the fcuk up.

And my DH was less needy than this when he had a hip replacement.
He is absolutely not a complainer.
I couldn't put up with this at all OP, especially the whiney voice

Take his temperature? Sorry, but that gave me an unfortunate mental image of you taking it the other way ...

If he can't stick something under his own tongue, then it's time for an ambulance.

Stop pandering. If he grumbles, point out that he doesn't wait on you every second when you're ill, and get on with your day. Treat him like a child who you know is just grizzling - act like you don't notice.

I can’t stand even reading about it. Malingering makes me cross too, it brings out some kind of anti - sympathy response.

Is he limping as well?