To think it’s unreasonable for husband to agree to his friend coming round when we’re already having a dinner party.

[Nomad68]

This happened years ago, but got brought up again ( by me) and my husband doubled down saying I’d been ‘a bit off’.
We were in our late 20s, just moved into a house. Christmas Eve and we had 2 friends (a couple)Coming for a meal and staying for Christmas Day.
i’d prepared a meal for 4. Sea bass fillets, so it wasn’t a one pot that could be shared between more people.
My husband’s friend turned up. The table was laid and food about to be served. So obviously I had to delay serving. Turns out this friend had contacted my husband asking if it was okay to come round - he’d said ‘yes’.
DH thinks we should have ‘accommodated’ him.
To me this is so blatantly wrong, but DH thinks we (meaning me) should have been more inviting!

Sweet Jesus

this happened “years ago”

weird

Who cares.

Move on.

Jesus Christ. It happened years ago.

Let it go 😃

And you're still arguing about this? Your dh sounds kind. It was Xmas eve and maybe his friend was lonely. If I'd have been your dh and you'd got pissed off about that i seriously would have questioned the whole relationship. It's very mean- spirited on Xmas eve.

The more the merrier surely?! I’m with your husband - ideally he should have told you but hey, pull up a chair 🤷‍♀️

Was there nothing you could have given dh instead of the seabass? If not I'd have halved with dh.

YANBU. So you prepared the meal, and your DH wanted to spring another unexpected guest on you? Fuck that.

What did DH expect his friend to eat? Did he offer up his own sea bass fillet?

Pull up a chair and eat what? There were only 4 fillets.

Fillets can be split?

Or, stick buddy boy a crispy pancake in and let the good times roll?

I would have given the extra guest my husbands plate and served DH a sandwich.

Why on earth are you bringing up something that happened years ago?

It would have annoyed the fuck out of me though. If I’d liked the friend, I may have served him fishfingers instead of the sea bass

So everyone gets less because DH can’t say no?

Why are you still arguing about it, were you 'off' with his friend or did you come across rude/unaccommodating?

If you were fine with the friend but didn't offer him any dinner I think that is okay, as it was sprung on you, but if you got arsey about the whole thing then you were rude.

On Christmas Eve, unless there's some sort of drip feed then I'd have made him welcome and would have split mine and DHs food.

Some people have real problems to deal with.

It was probably a bit inconvenient at the time. But you really should move on and stop bringing this up years later.

You just had to half his dinner OP. It's not a big deal.

Why are you still arguing about it years later?

We’re not arguing about it… just an unresolved disagreement… thought a poll would be interesting…

Years ago

can’t quite get my head around this!

So at least give a bit more information.

Were you 'off' with his friend??

What happened when he turned up??

I bet the guests don’t look back fondly on this tense as hell festive dinner

Christmas spirit my arse!

If it was any other night but Xmas Eve I would say YANBU. But given it was Xmas and this friend presumably had nowhere else to go if he was turning up at your door, then I don’t think it U to say yes to him and make space at the table.

Need to know… how did the night go? Did you feed him?

On the whole, I'm a 'more the merrier' person, and I'd hate for someone to be lonely on Xmas eve, so I would have welcomed them in, and found a way to make it work (even if that meant some fishfingers for the extra guest or DH so there was enough food to go round).

YABU - it’s Christmas Eve and he obviously had nowhere else to go. Where was your Christmas spirit?

I would have probably rolled my eyes, flaked all the fish so it could go 5 ways and got some cheese out of the fridge. Not sure why you’re still talking about it - did you cast the friend out into the cold?