To think many stay-at-home mums would leave their husbands tomorrow if they had their own money?

[PlumShark]

“I love him” or “I’m trapped?”

@PlumShark

How much would you have if you walked away tomorrow?

Every SAHM I know (about 100) would be a multi-millionaire in the event of a divorce.

So don't worry about SAHMs. Worry about women whose husbands demand separate finances in a marriage. Worry about low-income families.

I agree with this. Don’t feel sorry for the SAHMs. My husband’s been in the office all day and I’ve been sat in the garden working on the tan. He’d be devastated if I left. I’d be loaded. We’re honestly fine!

It would change quite dramatically post divorce.

Her ex must be a super super high earner for her live off solely child maintenance and whatever income earning assets they had?

I think many women (not abused ones obv) feel they would go if they could.the reality is that they put up with a lot,for their DC and security. Often women who have affairs are less likely to leave than men

Ok so the uber wealthy then!

Super, but not super super I'd say.
My point was more that it has not helped me one bit working all this time.
In fact I'm tired, and now facing a loooong time working. And he'll go after my pension.

@JHound - well yes, because it's wealthier families that can afford to have a SAHP. Most families can't afford it, can they? Most families in 'middle England' need 2 incomes in 2025.

As long as everything is shared, asset-wise, it's not about income. Eg. If your house is worth £6m or more (as many are in London) and half is yours, you are not going to be exactly destitute, in the overall scheme of things. And that's just the house. There will be other assets. Women are not stupid. If being a SAHM was a risk, they wouldn't do it.

I would venture to disagree and I put it to you that in the face of such abstract and poorly thought out nonsense that sarcasm is the ONLY appropriate response.

If I don’t have my own money then neither does he. All money is our money.

I wad raised in a poor neighbourhood with a fair amount of SAHM (especially a lot of the girls at my school of Pakistani heritage). A friend of mine was a SAHM on 32k a year (her husband).

You can have a SAHM on a lower income if you adjust lifestyle accordingly. It’s basically a sole income and loads of single parents have to do that.

I just meant your specific circle of over 100 SAHM who would be multi-millionnaires if they divorced is pretty outside of the norm.

Even £6m houses, in London are not the norm. i don’t agree with OP to be clear. I think a lot of people do find themselves unable to leave relationships due to financial considerations but I don’t think it’s specific to SAHPs.

I’m a SAHM on dh wage of 50k. Until last year, he was on 37k. We just live in a very cheap part of the country so our mortgage is a lot smaller than a lot of people.

I just think SAHMs are in such diverse circumstances, it's impossible to generalise.

I think a lot of people of both sexes would leave it if wasn’t for kids rather than financial reasons. Kids keep a lot of people together. I think after many years, most relationships are a bit dull.

Yeah whenever I hear people say you have to be rich to be a one income family it reminds me of people who say you have to be rich to get married.

I mean it all depends on what you had in mind!

Not nearly as many as workings mums who stick it out in shit relationships because they couldn't afford to go it alone. That's a bigger issue.