Santorini explosive argument

[JifNtGif]

I always go in holiday once a year with friend. Normally Europe, something chilled for 10 days. We switch who does all the admin / booking but will have a few places in mind. This year it was my turn to organise. Have booked Santorini. Got a fantastic deal. Beautiful venue. I booked it over Xmas for this July. Friend happy.
After several earthquakes we were nervous but agreed to wait it out (aware this is 'act of god' so couldn't get refund on insurance). There's been nothing major recently. So I assumed trip was on.

Over the weekend friend forwarded BBC article and said that the lead scientist said the " big earthquake/ volcanic eruption was coming this summer " and has said she's not coming.
I've read the article and it doesn't say that at all. In fact if anything it seemed the team had no clue what was happening and just let a journalist hang out with them for a day.
We can't cancel without losing a lot of money and friend said she would rather pay not to go. She won't reimburse me if I go by myself though.

We had a heated discussion and tbh I think she's making up earthquake scenarios/ catastrophising. What would you do ?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm25lz56rezo

She booked before the earthquake, and has already posted that she did.

Isn't this post very identifying?

No but it’s very difficult to make people pay hundreds of pounds for something won’t do. And you knew she was weird about this stuff.

You can absolutely cancel flights. In some cases the airport tax which you get refunded was the biggest percentage of the airline fare.

I’d either go and find someone else to go with or go by myself (get a refund on her flight first). She can book somewhere better if she’s fussed about a holiday with you,

She’s being manipulative. For me the friendship would already be over, she either pays you the amount due or she is forced to pay you the amount due on top of court costs.

^ This. It only destroys the friendship if you let it.

You might have a different view on risk to your friend, but she is entitled to feel the way she does. If she has offered to pay, go without her. And if you can find someone who is willing to join you and pay, you can pay her back. Or they can take her place and not pay.

If she doesn't cover her costs that is a different matter...

I get the sense that in addition to being worried about getting reimbursed, you are concerned that your actions could destroy the friendship.

From what I've read, she isn't giving one thought to your feelings (or wallet) or the impact that her decision would have on the friendship.

I would therefore not focus on salvaging anything with her. She sounds like a drama queen who is highly selfish and has no qualms about leaving you in a lurch. I wouldn't be able to tolerate this kind of hysteria and you shouldn't be out her share of the money because she has irrational fears.

If she is only willing to compensate you if you also cancel (Am I even reading this correctly? That is really twisted.) then cancel, get all the money back, and start planning a new trip without her--to the same destination!

Why does having a phobia mean she shouldn’t pay the OP the money she owes her for her half of the non-refundable holiday?

She’s told the OP she absolutely will not go on the holiday (which the OP has paid for) and said she would rather pay not to go. Fine. She has a phobia, fair enough.

The OP said ‘OK - then pay your half and I’ll go on my own’. The friend then said ‘No, I’ll only give you the money if you don’t go either’. That behaviour has nothing to do with her phobia, unless she has a phobia of being a decent human being.

Absolutely.

"I agree the trump card is mine, but it will destroy the friendship"

OP, I'd say that your friend is the one who's destroyed the friendship with her behaviour.

Cancel the hotel. Book near hotel on nearby island.

fly to Santorini get a boat to other island.

you are then only down small ferry amount.

Have I understood this correctly OP?
If you cancel, she’ll pay you her share, but you’ll both lose all your money. But if you go on your own, she won’t pay you back her share, and you’ll basically be paying double for a solo holiday? Would that just be to punish you for going? Small claims court I think.

The OP says it’s a non-refundable trip, so she won’t ‘get all the money back’ if she cancels. That’s the whole point. The only way the OP will not lose a lot of money will be if she goes on holiday alone and her friend gives her the money owed for what would been her half of the trip. Whereas the friend is saying that if the OP goes alone, she won’t give the money she owes her.

Friendship was borked the moment 'friend' said no payment if OP goes alone. How petulant can you get?

The OP says the hotel is non-refundable if they cancel.

That was February. Most are back now - they need to make a living, and in all honesty, if you were all that worried you wouldn't pick living on a volcano in the first place.

So either way the OP loses out on some money, I see. Wow. This is even worse!

Sorry OP, that's just cruel of her. She committed to her share when you put down the payment. She owes you the money, period.

Also, why should she actually want you to pay for your share and not attend? Like she wants you to lose money too?

These are not the actions of a real friend.

I mean, it's literally a volcano. When another big earthquake hits (on the lines of the one in the 50's) it's possible a lot of Oia might tumble down those sheer cliffs into the caldera below. 1000's of years ago (around 3 and a half thousand years or so) there was an absolutely massive eruption which changed economic and political life, climate and geography - completely changed the topography of the original island. So it's always possible!

But in all honesty, the volcanologists in that BBC article absolutely were NOT saying 'it'll happen this summer'! They made it clear they don't think it's 'soon soon', but, you know, likely in the next several years. Statistically, the chances of a big earthquake or eruption happening in the same 10 days you're going to be there are tiny.

I would go. Well, I would if it weren't a jam-packed touristic hellhole in summer. If you go, please do go and look at the Bronze Age frescoes in the museum, and the excavated site of Akrotiri.

Yes I don’t understand this at all.

Knowing thus was her stance, why on earth did you tell her you were still going? It doesn’t make sense.

You aren’t ever going to recover the friendship unless you allow yourself to be bullied. So it’s hardly worth saving.

She's within her rights to chose not to go but refusing to reimburse you unless you cancel too is arsehole behaviour. You're more forgiving than I am if your friendship can survive that level of selfishness.

I would take her reimbursement and go anyway. If she insists on proof you have cancelled before she gives you any money I would insist she reimburses you for the full cost, including your share, and then book somewhere else without her.

well there are a few lessons here, expensive ones though, so ouch.

Package holidays are the way to go these days then if one part goes tits up you're covered for all parts. And booking for friends and not getting their portion within days of booking is also a mistake.

Worst case here, i think, is you go alone and end up paying her part too. Best case, she ponys up and you go alone anyway.

If she won't pay you back for the booking she's a terrible friend. Hope you get your money back and have a good trip!!

Is she willing to refund you for the whole trip if neither of you go?
If not then she owes you half the cost of the hotel.
unless you can find another friend to go with you ?

Seems you will loose money either way, so just go. Life is short and it’s only money. Santorini is beautiful. Your friend is a dick though.

Ok she's offered to pay for the difference in flights if we go somewhere else but not my half of the hotel cost which would be cancelled !

Where I live I've been hit by two earthquakes in my lifetime and have a nearby live volcano. Last I heard it is hard to predict these events to the nearest century, let alone a three month period

I don’t understand… what’s she suggesting?