AIBU for eating nuts next to someone with an allergy on a plane?

[PrincessJoann]

Had a bizarre situation today. I was flying from Hawaii to Florida. The stewards were walking around giving out mixed nuts.

The woman seated next to me said to the flight attendants that she didn’t want any because she is allergic to nuts and that there should’ve been a note in their system regarding not serving her nuts.

The attendant said in the survey she’d filled out for the airline regarding injury she had not indicated that it was an airborne allergy and only checked that she couldn’t ingest nuts. She stated they still shouldn’t have served them and she shouldn’t need to be that specific.

The attendants asked her if we needed to make an emergency landing or if she required medical attention. She said no.

The woman asked me if I could not eat the mixed nuts. Everyone around us had an open plastic cup of mixed nuts. I told her I wasn’t sure how my eating them or not would help her in this situation. She said it was just a courtesy.

I told her (truthfully) I hadn’t eaten at all yet and needed to have something in my stomach to take a medication. I asked her if I could go to the back of the plane to eat the nuts then come back. She sort of rolled her eyes but said this was fine.

When I came back she was complaining to the flight attendants about me and asking to be moved, specifically using the term “that asshole.”

I feel badly that I didn’t handle the situation better. AIBU?

Nut allergies are deadly. She should have filled in the correct information yes, but as soon as airline staff were aware of her allergy they should have removed the nuts from the passengers.

Also no you should not have eaten the nuts.

I wouldn’t have eaten them as a curtesy but obviously up to you

Do you really need to ask.

I’m sure I saw this exact post on Reddit earlier.

I think you handled it perfectly.

How dare she try and police what you eat when it won’t harm her. If she was allergic even to airborne particles it would obviously be different but clearly she wasn’t.

Hers clearly wasn't, and also clearly wasn't an airborne allergy.

I wouldn’t have eaten them, no.

How bad would you feel if she had gone into anaphylactic shock right next to you so you could have a snack?

I’m sure on the trolley they could have offered you another snack for your meds.

You seem to imply she was being difficult - she can’t help her potentially deadly allergy.

This falls firmly into 'don't be a dick' territory.

Of course you are entitled to eat whatever you please and be damned with how it impacts on others.

Also the person affected also has a right to medical care if she was to have a reaction to what you have eaten.

So the possibility of having crew +- any appropriately trained travellers delivering life saving care in the seat next to me would be enough to discourage me from eating the nuts.

But it is your hill entirely to die upon.

Was she ok? I’m assuming with everyone else eating nuts she must have had a reaction?

I’m sure the cabin crew could’ve given you an alternative snack. You did not need to eat the nuts.

Did the flight attendants offer you an alternative snack?

O thought latest research showed the danger isn't airborne but from contact with the dust on surfaces such as the doors and seats.

I clicked not being unreasonable because you asked if it would be ok to eat them away from her and then come back and sit down, she said yes, and then called you an arsehole for doing something she’d said would be ok. Presumably if she had said ´I’d really prefer you didn’t, I’m worried traces of nuts on you could transfer to me and trigger a reaction’ you would have asked for an alternative snack instead! Communication should be clear!

Mother to a child here who has an airborne nut allergy, carries epi-pens everywhere and exposure to nuts would result in anaphylaxis with a high probability of death.

This is so sad to read that we have become such a selfish society that we literally will prioritise a snack over another humans life or risk to their life.

Regardless of her allergy being airborne or not, you were an asshole to eat them, be it at the back of the plane. I hope you don't ever have to experience the anxiety and fear that comes with having such an allergy and being at the mercy of other people to keep you safe/alive.

I sincerely hope my child doesn't ever come up against such ignorance.

Well I’m Guessing she was very worried/ uncomfortable/ scared/ stressed/ annoyed etc etc and some of it got thrown your way, it doesn’t really sound as though you deserved it, I think the crew could have offered you a different food item. You did your best. I’m sorry you got insulted, I would try not to take it personally. She must encounter such difficulties fairly often when she travels and I should think unfortunately many people would be downright dogged in their “right” to do whatever they like. You were ok, don’t worry about it!

Yep. On reddit too.

I mean you were nice enough to move to an area where everyone else was eating nuts anyway, which she said was ok. If she was truly concerned about traces of nuts on things she should have said she had an airborne allergy, so no nuts were eaten on the flight, or at least communicate this to you. Also if she was moved surely it would very likely have been next to someone who had also eaten nuts?!

You come across as obnoxious and difficult in the discussion. I doubt they want to have a nut allergy. Couldn't you have brought some of your own food for your medication? The continuum for nut allergies is quite broad. Just because they can tolerate airborne doesn't mean they welcome you dropping nuts, touching seat backs, handles

I can't believe that a grown adult would put their need for snacky time over someone's health

Another nut allergy mum here. Obviously we take precautions but why do people have to be so funny about it. Anaphylaxis is terrifying so even if she was ok it's life threatening and causes people a lot of stress, she more than likely is very anxious of having a anaphylaxis again, I would just expect people to have a little consideration for this

This must be so difficult, I’m sorry. An airborne allergy must make it so difficult to avoid nuts.

for this reason, I am always surprised that nuts seem to be such a common snack on airplanes.

however, in this instance passengers were asked if they had an airborne allergy. The passenger said no. Had she said yes, I’m presuming the airplane would not have served nuts on that flight?

I think it would be safer for airlines just to not serve nuts full stop.

the risk then becomes individuals eating nuts, in which case the sufferer is at the mercy of the individual to put them away when they are alerted to the allergy.

in this instance, however, I stated that the op was not unreasonable, based on the fact that the sufferer indicated it was not airborne, so everybody around her was already eating them, and the OP offered to eat hers at the back of the plane and come back, and the sufferer said this was ok.

for that reason I feel it was unreasonable for her then to be calling her an asshole.

🤔reddit

The thread may have been prompted by this news story

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgpvzrjjdzo

She sounds like a PITA. You were more than considerate