AIBU for eating nuts next to someone with an allergy on a plane?

[PrincessJoann]

Had a bizarre situation today. I was flying from Hawaii to Florida. The stewards were walking around giving out mixed nuts.

The woman seated next to me said to the flight attendants that she didn’t want any because she is allergic to nuts and that there should’ve been a note in their system regarding not serving her nuts.

The attendant said in the survey she’d filled out for the airline regarding injury she had not indicated that it was an airborne allergy and only checked that she couldn’t ingest nuts. She stated they still shouldn’t have served them and she shouldn’t need to be that specific.

The attendants asked her if we needed to make an emergency landing or if she required medical attention. She said no.

The woman asked me if I could not eat the mixed nuts. Everyone around us had an open plastic cup of mixed nuts. I told her I wasn’t sure how my eating them or not would help her in this situation. She said it was just a courtesy.

I told her (truthfully) I hadn’t eaten at all yet and needed to have something in my stomach to take a medication. I asked her if I could go to the back of the plane to eat the nuts then come back. She sort of rolled her eyes but said this was fine.

When I came back she was complaining to the flight attendants about me and asking to be moved, specifically using the term “that asshole.”

I feel badly that I didn’t handle the situation better. AIBU?

Exactly.

But that didn’t happen, did it?

Exactly

Normally airlines don't serve nuts if there is someone with a severe nut allergy on board so something clearly went wrong here. Dust from nuts can cause a reaction, whether it is in the air or on your clothes or skin, if someone is severely allergic. I can therefore understand that if she was severely allergic she may have wanted to move because of that risk. You obviously tried to minimise the impact of the situation on her by going to the back of the plane to eat the nuts and she shouldn't have called you a jerk but she may have had justification in being annoyed with the airline if it was their miscommunication rather than hers!

You were fine. You moved to the back of the plane which was appropriate and considerate. She was rude to you which was entirely unnecessary. She obviously thinks it's okay to make everyone else live with her specialness.

Which flight goes from Hawaii to Florida?

Responsibility goes both ways but I never rely on other people to do the right thing.
My DS is anaphylactic to a number of things, nut and peanuts included and we've always been told that the biggest consideration is contamination of seats, tray tables, arm rests and so on from someone eating nuts on a previous flight. So the advice we've had both from DS's consultant and the various allergy charities is to get an early morning flight if possible, as that's when a plane is most likely to be clean, clean the area with surface wipes, and never use airline blankets and pillows as they are not washed between uses. It's now thought that the majority of accidental exposures on flights are due to contact, not airborne as previously thought.
I wouldn't be thrilled if someone started eating nuts in the seat right next to DS because of the risk of accidental contact.There is a risk from other passengers of course, but they would be less likely to put their hands onto his arm rest or spill their nuts in his lap. I wouldn't knowingly eat food that I knew a neighbouring passenger was allergic to but I wouldn't assume that others will behave that way. It's nice when they do of course, but lots of people don't understand, don't care, or both.
In reality though, an allergic passenger is probably at nearly as much risk from the person who occupied their seat on the previous flight and you can't legislate for that. If you ban nuts from all flights, why stop there - no bread, no milk, no eggs? The commonest cause of death from anaphylaxis is dairy, and in fact that's one allergen that can be airborne via things like coffee machines that create an aerosol when they froth milk, but you don't hear people calling for dairy free environments. My DS is extremely sensitive to sesame and the bloody stuff is in all kinds of unexpected places (a plain ham sandwich at a motorway services recently contained it ). It's difficult, but if you have severe allergies you have to learn to navigate the world and you can't rely on other people unfortunately.

So to me this is another thread were people have not read the opening post

1. the nut allergy person did not complete the form to say she had an airborne allergy, therefore the airline acted accordingly. You have to assume that if someone has a deadly allergy to something they would make it clear
2. at no point did the allergy sufferer (AS)ask for all the nuts to be removed from all passengers, so do thing someone who did have a serious allergy would do
3. the air stewardess asked if she wanted to make an emergency landing if she was not well, AS declined, therefore was it a deadly allergy?
4. the op had a medical issue of her own and needed food, nuts were ok for that, she asked the AS who said she would prefer not, as a courtesy, nit as someone suffering a deadly allergy
5. Op went to the back of the plane to eat them

I truely don’t believe AS had a deadly allergy and that the Op was fine to do what she did

Yes, take a sandwich or ask for pretzels. Though the woman shouldnt have called OP an asshole. Nobody should be called that.

If it was so dangerous for the other person to be near someone eating nuts, perhaps THEY shouldn't have been going on a plane. After all, even if the airline don't provide nuts, there's absolutely nothing to stop other passengers eating nuts they've brought with them. Seems a very dangerous risk to take for someone with a severe allergy to go into such a confined space!

Yabvu

I have a nut allergy, and the smell from a snickers being eaten next to me makes me ill

People whinge about how selfish people today are but then we have people who can't go a flight without eating some nuts to protect their neighbour.

I think in your position I’d have explained to the flight attendants that I needed to eat something in order to take my medicine and asked them to find an alternative snack as you were next to someone with a nut allergy.

If it was only going to be poisonous if I ate it then I would trust myself to not eat it... no different to sitting near a bottle of bleach.

"Nut allergies are deadly"

In this case she had not indicated that being near them was a problem so she wasn't taking it that seriously herself. Even after the fact she was not claiming she was in any real danger (or the plane would have landed) .

She was irritated at the offer to eat them at a distance from her.

Since she then asked to sit with another passenger and had no way to know if they had just eaten nuts her issue was with someone who hadn't done as she demanded.

Another example of the modern self entitlement problem. Other people should have foreseen a problem for her and everyone should have leapt into action to make her more comfortable.

In my opinion nuts should be banned on planes, just like they are in schools. For the record I'm a nut eater, love them. I also have a friend whose child has a severe nut allergy, and Jesus it is frightening. I couldn't imagine!

But also, I don’t understand why aeroplanes serve nuts at all, just have non nut snacks for everyone.

I'm starting to wonder if the woman was just batshit with no allergy at all.

Maybe, maybe she was just an arsehole as well as being allergic to nuts if eaten. I can’t imagine anyone with a nut allergy who wouldn’t fill out an airline form properly and be specific if they couldn’t be on an aircraft with nuts.

Mind you, I used to run events and on several occasions we had people complain about allergens “being present that weren’t warned about in advance”. Funnily enough, they’d managed to be in the presence of them on all the other days without an issue, and continued being at the event. And if you really couldn’t be in a room with something, you’d actively check, wouldn’t you?

People like that do a disservice to those with really serious allergy issues.

Did you miss the part where OP said she left her seat to eat the nuts AND that she was the only one picked on by this person when everyone around them was eating nuts too?

If this person had a problem, she should have informed the airline properly, not been a dick about it on the flight.

My son and I have anaphylaxis. If her issue WAS genuine, she would have accepted the emergency landing.

Someone with a genuinely dangerous nut allergy would have filled in the form properly. They'll be acutely aware of the dangers and would ensure all precautions taken. The fact that they filled in the form re "ingestion" of nuts being the allergy shows that mere proximity to nuts wasn't a dangerous problem.

Because they are tasty, filling, vegan, less processed than chips or pretzels, easy to serve and people like them.

The entire world need not revolve around those with nut intolerance.

A few other posters have mentioned this but the danger here is not the ‘airborne’ allergy, it’s the traces of nuts that remain on people’s hands etc that could transfer throughout the seating area, trays, overhead compartment handles, toilets etc. Sneezing and coughing can also spread the proteins. These could trigger an anaphylactic reaction for someone with a nut/peanut allergy.
I used to be very suspicious about ‘allergies’ before I had my young son who has a severe peanut allergy. It is frightening. A plane would not have sufficient time to make an emergency landing should there be any issues with epi pens.
The airline shouldn’t have served the nuts in the first place, airborne allergy or not. But equally anybody sitting close to this person should also have refrained from eating them because of the increased risk of spreading any traces. The risk is too great when dealing with anaphylaxis.

I'm surprised that the airline sold nuts? One of my colleagues has a seriously severe nut allergy and he always alerts the airline ahead of time and ensures there are no nuts on the plane.

But yes, you were being unreasonable. Basic manners cost nothing.

I was recently flying first on a transatlantic flight. At the same time the crew were announcing that there was someone on the plane with a deadly nut allergy and requesting that people did not open anything containing nuts they were serving warmed nuts to me and the rest of my cabin….

if I had a deadly nut allergy that was airborne there is not a hope in hell that id put my trust in the goodwill of 300+ people and get on a plane

Or not got on the plane at all. Flying is a “want,” not a “need,” in most cases.