Cooking related terms that make you squirm (title edited by MNHQ at request of OP)

[Words]

Sides. No. It is side dishes. See also mains (Shudder)

I made lamb at Easter. No, you cooked it.

Cooked to your liking. Well they woudn't deliberately cook it otherwise if they wanted to stay in business...

Doesn't local produce mean produce local to where the meal is being served? Like, if you ate avocados grown in Mexico when you were in Mexico it would be local produce, but not after they're flown to a supermarket halfway around the world.

Huge thanks to PPs for ‘Marry me’ whatevers and ‘bone broth’. These are two of my three biggest ones.

The third is ‘genius’, especially ‘genius hack’. Most ‘genius hacks are reasonably useful, no more, but many of them were known to my grandmothers and my great grandmother who cooked on a wood stove. The authors write as if they have invented water and they aren’t modest about it.

An exception, and I am sure there are others, is Kenji Lopez-Alt at the website Serious Eats. Some brilliant ideas there. Who do you recommend for proper genius hacks?

A deep-fat fryer.

'Pan-fried' is used to make it clear that it's fried in a pan, rather than submerged in hot oil, so as a term, it does have a purpose. But equally they could just say 'shallow-fried' which means the same thing.

Fresh eggs is a perfectly valid description. For poaching, you want fresh eggs and for peeled hard boiled eggs you want older eggs.

You can also have reconstituted eggs or liquid eggs in a carton in catering. Not everything with eggs uses fresh eggs.

Nom is the most egregious of food descriptions. Even my toddlers didn’t use such a stupid word.

Eating out rather than cooking but - Eatery. Saw a place a few years ago that called itself a ‘Brunchery’. It’s still bothering me now.

Yes, I always think 'marry me chicken' looks both bland and sickly at the same time.

I really, really hate it when TV chefs talk about 'big flavours'.

I also hate it when they say 'That's a good plate of food'. Call it a good meal or a good dish or a good main course or literally anything but 'a good plate of food'. I don't know why this bothers me so much, it's not like it isn't an accurate description, but I fucking hate it.

Any use of the word 'yummy' makes me want to kick someone in the face.

'Mac and cheese' instead of macaroni cheese. NO.

'Slaw'. NO.

'Veggies'. NO. Call them vegetables or call them veg, but if you call them 'veggies' I will physically hurt you.

The worst food term ever of all time, however, is 'mouthfeel'. It makes me want to heave.

American food IG reels where every step of the process is prefaced with “So you’re going to want to..,”, as in “So you’re gonna want to take the onion and you’re gonna want to chop it finely, and then you’re gonna want to fry it….” Drives me mad.

'Brunchery' is basically a hate crime.

I dislike places that call themselves a 'kitchen'. As in 'So-and-so's Bar & Kitchen'. Just call it a Bar & Restaurant or Cafe Bar or whatever. 'Bar & Kitchen', my arse.

Also - and I don't know why this one annoys me - 'street food'. It's just food. It doesn't matter where people eat it.

Veg is far worse than veggies IMO.

Hand-cut chips, as if it was going to alter the taste or something.

Sea bass. There's no such thing as freshwater bass.

"Sourced".

Drizzled with this and presented on a bad of that.

Pan-fried is the worst though.

Americans do this with makeup tutorials and art/craft tutorials as well and I hate it. They're also obsessed with 'going in with' things. 'So after you've added the sugar, you're gonna want to go in with your wooden spoon...' 'Once you've applied the nude shadow to the eyelid, that's when we're gonna go in with our brown...'

*Lush.
If someone reers to any sort of food as "lush" I'm out the door. *

Guessing you don't live south west/wales/Bristol way then. "Lush" is a very typical descriptor for food in that dialect.

Meal. Don't ask me why, I don't know.

Bung, chuck, throw, as several PPs.

Portion. Especially in phrases such as 'save a portion for tomorrow'. Just save some.

Plate of food. I blame John Torode. Plate as opposed to what exactly? (Although don't get me started on the whole plank/slate/miner's helmet pretentious nonsense.)

Edit - also another one for pan fried.

Sorry if it’s already been mentioned, but on one of Jamie Oliver’s recent offerings, he got into the horrendous habit of saying “Just add a kiss of oil”. Fuck. Off.

Your kids get Mexican blow for dinner...😮

I think Im a pretty good cook but whenever I make this its so bland, like I should be enjoying it much more than I am.

Not a phrase but a facial expression ( one of the women in that MM cookery show did it on the preview which instantly turned me off )
She ate a piece of cream/ fruit sponge and did the- eyes to the side, shoulders relaxed, mmmm face but it is very exaggerated

Spag Bol
Crem Patt
And worst - butts ( butter) yes you men from Sorted, I mean you

Worse is

“did you know…”

did you know if you add velveeta to heavy cream and crushed Cheetos, mix for 2 minutes and bake, you’ll end up with a delicious dip?

Lashings

Food of the Gods

Picky Bits - makes me think of scabs

Yes!! It's actually full sugar if they want to be factual. I prefer classic coke

There's a place in Leamington that advertises itself as an 'Eatery and Drinkery'....

I'm planning on visiting in the middle of the night with a large pot of paint.

DH says "fixings:" as in "have we got all the fixings for Mexican"
I bite the inside of my face and just say "we've got all the ingredients, yeah"

The coke thing is one of my biggest pet peeves. Firstly, there is no fat in coke, so it's incorrect. Surely it should be "full sugar Coke," if anything.

Second, Coke is just Coke. Any other type of Coke, such as diet Coke, or Cherry Coke, or vanilla Coke, or caffeine free Coke are differentiated by the type. If you say Coke people know that you mean the original regular Coke. They're not going to think that you mean diet Coke when you just say Coke.

I know its not a term but when people drag a knife along something - to prove how crispy it is I think I shudder. I think its me being weird though 😅