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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My manager is making me come in the office 4days a week

312 replies

Lavendar01 · 23/04/2025 07:43

Since beginning of my role (which was coming out of covid), I've been hybrid working 3days in the office and 2days wfh. I had my own office but had to give it up for other staff that were in full time. Manger agreed for me to wfh and come in once a week - worked perfect!

In my recent supervision manager said he wants me in 4days a week "business need" and that there will be a room available to share with a couple of other staff. I've gone in and that room isn't set up, currently its dusty with extra office furniture/ equipment, basically being used storage room for now. I made a point to my manager and said could I continue wfh until the room is sorted, he refused and said to set up in that room somewhere in the corner for now.

AIBU here thinking I am within my right to refuse to be there until I have a proper work station set up, as required for my role? Not to mention sitting in an empty room for 8 hours with no interaction effects my mental wellbeing

OP posts:
Abracadabra12345 · 23/04/2025 15:55

As someone else pointed out, the room is being set up to include others so OP won’t be on her own in due course. And she might even come to like interacting with others who aren’t just her husband, even if they aren’t part of her team ( since she has a unique role). It might be even good for us….

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:04

WitchesCauldron · 23/04/2025 12:09

She works for them, not the other way round.

Does not change what that poster said. I did that with an old job once. I used to do all the hours they wanted me to (till 9, 10 and even 11pm and sometimes weekends) but would come in 5-10 mins late each day. They had an issue with that as it was not my “contracted hours” so I said “cool.”

I started doing my “contracted hours”. 9-5pm each day. They cannot force you to do unpaid overtime and if they won’t give her flexibility she should not give them any.

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

ginasevern · 23/04/2025 14:09

@Needtosoundoffandbreathe

"We are only wanted in the workplaces because there is less being spent on public transport, in coffee shops/food vans, on all the things we are blamed for eating. We also then spend less on grooming/clothes etc."

Well yeah. All of the things you mention (and much, much more) that actually contribute to the economy in a multitude of ways such as paying taxes, renting premises, paying for maintenance and basically keeping our cities alive. To say nothing of the fact that they are providing jobs for people - jobs that can't be done sitting on their arses at home. You seem quite happy (even sneery) about throwing them under the bus.

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

MoominMai · 23/04/2025 16:08

PlumRaspberryJam · 23/04/2025 11:22

OP, check your privilege. Nurses, doctors, paramedics, police, firefighters - all these and many more have to go into many ‘workplaces’ in less than ideal conditions. And so many do exceptional service (hats off to all of you!).

You don’t have a desk set up? Sort it out! Imagine one of the essential services such as a paramedic decided to wait for their bosses to set up perfect working conditions.

Calm down, it’s not a race to the bottom 🙄. Also what’s the point of referencing front line public services? Most adults are aware of which jobs are compatible and which aren’t with wfh which is part of the reason why people choose the jobs they do. It’s not unreasonable for OP to ask her Qs.

SnugReader · 23/04/2025 16:19

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

Either they own one of those businesses or they're your typical contrary MN poster.

99% of the time on MN you'll be accused of being a ridiculous, lazy spendthrift buying anything that you could make at home. Buying into consumerism and damaging the planet or whatever.

Apart from the one occasion here where they want to tell you not buying a £4 coffee or £6 sandwich is you being selfish and not caring about the British economy and throwing It's workers under the bus 😀

Usually it's more sneering at people for spending a few quid for coffee pods at home being frivolous when you could just not and buy a sack of coffee beans and grind it yourself.

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:19

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

*life

Mondayblues2 · 23/04/2025 16:22

aylis · 23/04/2025 13:38

My mental health would be significantly impacted by having to go into the office 5 days a week and that's pretty much inescapable. Prior to covid, which was when we started hybrid working, I was struggling to balance school runs and childcare and other commitments with work and a not insignificant commute, while dealing with anxiety. In that sense, covid was an absolute lifesaver for me. The time pressure was off. I was able to increase my hours, my finances, my wellbeing, improve my work-life balance, and recover pretty well. All that would be gone. Luckily my employer can distinguish human beings from the machines they use.

Yep - pre COVID I used to spend 10 hours per week in traffic jams (one hour per journey, twice a day, 5 days a week). No one could argue this was good for me .....

Mondayblues2 · 23/04/2025 16:24

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

Its not your responsibility. Whether they like it or not, these businesses have to change and diversify. The world has changed, they need to accept that.

Edited to add that any thread about WFH ends in a bunfight.

MoominMai · 23/04/2025 16:28

Botanybaby · 23/04/2025 14:59

Needs of the business I'm afraid and clearly while your WFH your slacking which is why he wants you in the office more

I don't understand what you mean by having no interaction is bad for your mental health when you'll be alone all day at home anyway what makes it bad for your mental health in an office but not at your house

You’re not understanding because you’re in such a hurry to voice your ignorant views and make up unfounded nonsense about OP’s performance, that you forgot to actually read all her posts before spitting out your response 🙄

WitchesCauldron · 23/04/2025 16:51

Brefugee · 23/04/2025 12:50

yes but we are all grown-ups and must therefore accept that there are some jobs that have to be done onsite. And, as with everyone else, if you really want flexibility or hybrid or WFH nothing is stopping you looking for another job.

Oh yeah- all those years of clinical experience knowledge down the drain so I can put my washing out and visit the dentist...
Of course everyone knows that some jobs you can't do from home. So whining about having to go into the office when most people have had a good few years of WFH during the pandemic is not going to get a lot of sympathy

aylis · 23/04/2025 16:54

This thread is a really good example of people just not wanting other people to have nice things.

MoominMai · 23/04/2025 16:58

aylis · 23/04/2025 16:54

This thread is a really good example of people just not wanting other people to have nice things.

100% in a nutshell. I think the thread should just end with your comment! 😅

Mulledjuice · 23/04/2025 16:59

Unbeleevable · 23/04/2025 07:52

Personally I’d buy a couple of plants, take in a duster and just get on with it. Job hunt if you like.

I would also make sure all my dental appointments, medical appointments etc land on the extra day I’m in the office. And say to boss “I will need to leave at x because I have a dental checkup/smear test/contraceptive review at 2pm sorry only appointment I could get.”

That will help remind manager there’s a big advantage of wfh for employee flexibility and employee productivity.

How will it achieve that??

BitOutOfPractice · 23/04/2025 17:04

Ayeayeaye25 · 23/04/2025 15:32

You would have a long wait at our place for that we do our own online DSE assessments.

I agree. Not everyone works for a big corporation with oh departments.

Justwhy2 · 23/04/2025 17:10

Unbeleevable · 23/04/2025 07:52

Personally I’d buy a couple of plants, take in a duster and just get on with it. Job hunt if you like.

I would also make sure all my dental appointments, medical appointments etc land on the extra day I’m in the office. And say to boss “I will need to leave at x because I have a dental checkup/smear test/contraceptive review at 2pm sorry only appointment I could get.”

That will help remind manager there’s a big advantage of wfh for employee flexibility and employee productivity.

I take it you are a public sector worker? OP might not be

JHound · 23/04/2025 17:14

aylis · 23/04/2025 16:54

This thread is a really good example of people just not wanting other people to have nice things.

Ding ding ding JACKPOT!

The politics of bitterness and envy.

Mondayblues2 · 23/04/2025 17:24

aylis · 23/04/2025 16:54

This thread is a really good example of people just not wanting other people to have nice things.

Yes, sadly

BlueSpikeyPearls · 23/04/2025 17:32

This looks like a case of quiet firing. They are trying to demoralize you by making your working circumstances worse in the hopes you'll quit on your own.

In either case, sounds like you are dealing with a bad manager. I would kick my job search into high gear.

SwornToSilence · 23/04/2025 17:33

SkiAndTravelTheWorldWithMyDog · 23/04/2025 07:48

Surely you are on your own with no interaction with others when you are working from home.

this

MoominMai · 23/04/2025 17:39

SwornToSilence · 23/04/2025 17:33

this

No - not ‘this’ 🙄 - actually maybe go read all OPs posts first where she explains.

PooksBear · 23/04/2025 17:59

Lavendar01 · 23/04/2025 07:43

Since beginning of my role (which was coming out of covid), I've been hybrid working 3days in the office and 2days wfh. I had my own office but had to give it up for other staff that were in full time. Manger agreed for me to wfh and come in once a week - worked perfect!

In my recent supervision manager said he wants me in 4days a week "business need" and that there will be a room available to share with a couple of other staff. I've gone in and that room isn't set up, currently its dusty with extra office furniture/ equipment, basically being used storage room for now. I made a point to my manager and said could I continue wfh until the room is sorted, he refused and said to set up in that room somewhere in the corner for now.

AIBU here thinking I am within my right to refuse to be there until I have a proper work station set up, as required for my role? Not to mention sitting in an empty room for 8 hours with no interaction effects my mental wellbeing

Surely you have somewhere satisfactory to work in the office 3 days a week? So surely one more day won't hurt?

PooksBear · 23/04/2025 18:01

LivingDeadGirlUK · 23/04/2025 07:53

Yes OP its not acceptable for them to expect you to work without a proper workstation, they should be able to sort this out very quickly, your manager is being very crap here.

But she works in the office 3 days anyway!! Whats the problem 😆😆😆

Trishyb10 · 23/04/2025 18:49

Precious and priviliged springs to mind,get a grip

Bellyblueboy · 23/04/2025 18:54

PooksBear · 23/04/2025 18:01

But she works in the office 3 days anyway!! Whats the problem 😆😆😆

She has only been coming in 1 day - agreed with her manager.

Flavourful · 23/04/2025 19:29

I’d have said look I don’t mind coming back in to the office but I’m certainly not coming back to this! The office needs sorting before you return and I certainly wouldn’t want to be sitting in a store room.