Any mental health people? Can a child remaining unnamed for 9 weeks have some affects?

[MiniCountrymandreams]

I’ve just found out this morning, before being taken in by my grandfather, I had remained unnamed for 9 weeks.

I am curious to learn what ramifications that may have, or if any of those may be lasting.

Is it psychologically important for a child to have a name early on?

No, of course not.

I doubt it. We didn't name D's for four weeks (stuck in NICU) and after that rarely used his name anyway, it was more 'baby' 'tiny face' etc.

I would imagine the REASON you were unnamed would have more of an impact then the unnaming itself.

9 years yes, 9 weeks no.

I would imagine the REASON you were unnamed would have more of an impact then the unnaming itself.

This.

No it won't affect someone like that

How were you un-named for 9 weeks when births have to be registered within 6 weeks by law?

At the time no, you wouldn't know you had a name obviously. But now, I can imagine that would be quite hurtful under the circumstances.

No, being unnamed for nine weeks would not have a negative impact on a baby who was being loved, cherished, cuddled, cared for and provided for. However, the fact that you were taken in by your grandfather at nine weeks suggests you weren’t receiving that love and care in your first weeks, and that might have had a lasting impact ❤️

I would imagine the REASON you were unnamed would have more of an impact then the unnaming itself

I work in mental health and agree with this. Also, the reason why you were taken in by your grandfather is very relevant here.

No. My youngest sister had about 4 names for two months until my mum liked a name enough.

My two sons were named in the hospital but I don’t think I called the oldest anything other than ‘gigantor’ or ‘seal pup’ for weeks. The youngest was ‘piglet’ for months.

It wouldn't have any adverse effects at the time.
But I think finding out about this when you are old enough to worry about it would be very upsetting.

Purely speculative: I think it’s a case of chicken and egg. The fact you were not named indicates a possibility that your parents struggled to bond with you and see you as a small human (as opposed to an object), which could have potentially caused you harm (less cuddles, less care etc). So I think the lack of attachment is what did the damage (lack of name was a symptom).

But then again, it might just be really indecisive parents, family arguments about names, grandparents wanting an input, there could be things you don’t know that went on.

Really? Do you honestly think, given we don't start laying down real memories until about 4 years old, that a newborn not having a given name for a paltrey 9 weeks, is going to affect its mental health??
I despair.

What do you think the effects are? I'm not sure how a 9 week old baby can be psychologically affected by anything, they don't have the capacity surely

The treatment you receive as a baby absolutely matteres in terms of how it affects the developing brain and healthy attachment patterns etc. A baby learns to walk and talk before it lays down memories but those are both influenced by the care it receives.

But I agree with others that it's not the lack of name that is likely the issue, it's the reasons that went along with it.

I would imagine, if there were effects, that it might be whatever led to you needing to be taken in by your grandfather, rather than the naming itself, per se.

In lots of cultures it's normal to wait a while before giving a baby a name. Some cultures traditionally change a child's name at the end of childhood. Not having a name for the first week's of your life won't, in itself, have had any impact at all. But I agree with PPS that it might indicate problems in how your family was relating to you that could have caused issues.

No.

We called Ds Tiddler for months. It’s was just his sweet nickname and nothing like his actual name. He was named at birth

Not a psychologist but there seems to be a bigger picture here if you were "taken in" by your grandparents as a small baby. The not giving you a name is maybe part of that.

I don’t think I called DD by her real name until she was many months old. We’d call her sweat pea or peanut. Yes, talking about her we’d use her real name but when talking to her, it was always by a term of endearment.

Better than the Viking way eg Ragnar, son of Ragnar. Or just sticking another i after a well used name Henry i/ii-viii. I named my babies just on the end of the 6 weeks, their names all have special meanings.
That won't have affected you, a lot of babies are named, then nicknames/shortenings used. Babies start to attach at 12 weeks. It's best to have a primary care giver and be settled by 10 months. What is it you are looking for? I'd say it's how your grandfather attached to you and how he cared for you and helped you navigate not being brought up by your birth parents, that matters.

I went to uni with a guy who wasn't named until he was 10 weeks old and his parents had been taken to court. Faced with a potential fine, they finally named him... Daniel. A name so common* that we had nicknames for at least 7 of them. He was loved and unharmed.

I would think that any other neglect that caused you to be taken in by your grandfather, and growing up without actively involved parents, is what caused you harm. I'm sorry you had a difficult start to life and I hope you are able to get whatever support you need to move on from it to a happy life soon.

• Edited to add - I thought about excluding his name as identifying, but of course it's just so common that it isn't at all identifying.

Of course not. DS wasn’t finally named till we were actually walking to the registrar’s office, and he was ten weeks. Before that (and for weeks afterwards) he was called by his in utero nickname. He was a planned and wanted baby.

If you've only just found out then it couldn't have had that much of an effect?

Lots of people missing the point. Those babies that weren't named straight away (or given a nickname) were loved, provided for and had their needs met. It sounds as though OPs weren't. That is the issue. Sorry OP. I hope you can find the support you need.

Sure, but that’s not what the OP asked. She asked about not being named. From her post, she already knew the circumstances, just not that she wasn’t named immediately.