Any mental health people? Can a child remaining unnamed for 9 weeks have some affects?

[MiniCountrymandreams]

I’ve just found out this morning, before being taken in by my grandfather, I had remained unnamed for 9 weeks.

I am curious to learn what ramifications that may have, or if any of those may be lasting.

Is it psychologically important for a child to have a name early on?

Mental health people?! Professionals ….

Yes here I am. No. No is your answer.

Amazes me always how people WANT trauma, and seek it out.

I think the situation behind the lack of naming is more likely to be a source of underlying trauma.

However, we are shaped by very early interaction or lack of it and can be triggered by specifics that go back into very early childhood. For example, my premmie baby could not lie in a baby gym. He was all smiles with most things but not being under things. HV said it related back to the incubator.

I don't think newborn attachment really centres on names. Some people name their child in utero and use the name before they are born whereas others don't, the bonding is not affected. Many children also develop nicknames after they are born.

I agree with the poster saying whatever happened to you in the 9 weeks where nobody thought it important to give you a name would be vastly more important - those are crucial weeks where attachment is supposed to be forming. DS2 was in NICU for just one day and I honestly think that it is part of why he is so sensitive and hypervigilant. (I could be wrong).

In the past in some places it was actually fairly common not to name a child until they were christened (or similar ceremony for other religion) at about 6-8 weeks old, because a lot of babies died shortly after birth you'll see on family trees and old cemetaries "Baby boy/girl Surname" or "Unnamed baby Surname" sometimes. And it's not that uncommon even today for a baby to be given a name at birth and then for it to be changed over the next few weeks or months. It's also not unusual for parents to use a nickname or term of endearment rather than the baby's name directly until they are a bit older.

I was just looking at some studies relating to grandparent influence last night and one of the things mentioned was that children who are brought up by grandparents have almost always experienced some level of adverse childhood events in order to have ended up with their grandparent(s) rather than their parents, so studies in general show that children who are raised by grandparents do less well on average but it is not necessarily because there is anything wrong with grandparents as childrearers, it's more likely because children have been through difficult circumstances before they came to the grandparent.

But you lay down behaviours, emotional responses, the brain is constantly rewiring at every age, but most brain development happens by 3 years old. You will remember abstract feelings from a very early age, but not concrete memories

oh come on, it was nine weeks. That is not going to cause lasting trauma, fgs!
Nine weeks!!

It sounds like you need to educate yourself. Babies learn healthy attachment from birth. They may not make long-term narrative memories but they are banking information all the time.

There are many reasons that a baby isn't named or called by its name immediately, but in this scenario it sounds like it could be one small piece of a bigger pattern of neglect. And newborns are wired to create attachments to their caregivers: if those caregivers are uninterested or abusive, that is going to affect what neural pathways and survival mechanisms the child develops. Babies aren't unfeeling little potatoes who can be treated any old how with no ill effect, they are stashing information all the time that they'll carry throughout their lives.

My brother wasn't named for 3 months back in the early 90s and it hasn't caused him any issues. You're looking for problems that aren't there.

Agree with @BertieBotts and @Bushmillsbabe — early babyhood is huge in terms of attachment. The lack of conscious memory of those times is irrelevant.

No, no one really calls their baby by its name anyway, that’s more for toddlers.

No

I don't think OP is looking for problems, they are looking for answers.

Before being taken in by my grandfather

I think the reasons for this are likely to be more significant during childhood than lack of a name for a short time

Like what? What kind of ramifications could it possibly have?

@MiniCountrymandreams “before being taken in by my grandfather” ….this is the question to be asking , the naming itself is irrelevant, it’s the circumstances as to why you had to be taken in, isn’t it? You may well have had a name given to you by your mother but she wasn’t in a position to make it formal or register it due to eg.her mental health.

OP, whether or not you had an overall loving and secure childhood, I can see that discovering you had no name for so long might make you feel weird when seen in conjunction with the fact that you ended up going to your grandfather. Like you had a lost 9 weeks. But as others say I don't think not having a name per se at that young age is what's affecting you now, it's just a symptom of the bigger situation.

My sister and I were not named until 6 weeks but this is because my dad seems to regard that cut-off date as the point to aim for and not the absolute maximum. My brother got his name immediately because my mother pre-emptively blurted it out when he was born. I don't think it's done us harm as we had loving and competent parents. I am affected by my parents' ongoing disagreement and resentment over my name, but that's a different issue.

Whre I'm from the child's name is registered within 3 months and that's usually when the name is announced. And parents till debate the name in the morning. So a child having a name when it is born is not usual for me and I can't say that most people form back are eternally damaged by not having a name when they were born...or maybe that doe explain why they are the way they are.

Of course not. In my country babies aren't usually named until around 2 months old, when they get christened (or in my case naming party), for my oldest it wasn't until she was 10 weeks old.

And neither of my children were called by their name much at all in the first few years, instead they were called baby. My 7 year old is still called baby more than he is his name.

Sounds like life has been quite tricky for you.
Don’t actively look for reasons to be traumatised. Dig deep for resilience and see this as a quirky tale that is a part of your story but not something that affects you in your strong adulthood.

Not having a name.on it's own isn't a problem but whatever happened before you were taken in by your grandfather, and the separation from your mother, would definitely have an impact.

@DenholmElliot11 babies have to be registered within 6 weeks but not named. They can just be boy or girl.

Registered yes, named no.

Mine were registered on the last day given to attend the registrars office and have no psychological issues.

As others have said it's the reason for no name and the level of care received which is critical.

Our youngest had a name from birth but for months was always called "baby" or " bundle" (which became "bunny" and is still her nickname 11 years later).

Some friends of ours named their babies at the very last moment before compulsory registration. They are real faffers and agonized over finding ideal names that suited the baby.

I also know two people whose parents changed their name in the first few weeks. One because they decided they liked the middle name better and one because they found out the original name was the same as next doors cat!

In all cases the babies were loved and wanted though and no suffering occurred.

It sounds like your start in life was difficult OP. I hope you are OK.

Yes, probably. The main reason being the lack of care/interest from your parents in that crucial early period. The lack of a name is a symptom of the problem.

The first few minutes/hours/days/weeks are crucial for a baby's development. That's why babies who had to spend time in an incubator in the 70s/80s are more likely to grow up lonely and find it difficult to interact with others - because it that critical period after birth, they were isolated and alone.

People often seem to think that because a person can't remember much before the age of 2 or 3 that a baby doesn't take their experiences in. That's not true. For good or bad, the earliest periods are the most influential on their subsequent development and character.

Don’tyou have to register within 6 weeks ?