Is DW an alcoholic?

[Mafsbaftasandgg]

She drinks a bottle of wine to herself 3 times a week?
Yabu: no she's not
Yanbu: yes she is

That's a lot.

Don't be so ridiculous with your poll.

There is no way for strangers to know the answer to this

why do you want to label her behaviour anyway?

Three bottles of wine a week is problem drinking, yes.

Obviously randoms on the internet don't know if your wife is an alcoholic.
Go make your point a better way.

I think she’s fine personally.

Impossible to say. That is more than is ideal for sure, and sounds like she should drink less. There’s obvs more going on here, and you presumably do think she has an alcohol problem. What does she think, and is it actually a problem in her daily life?

So 4 days a week she doesn’t drink? I’d guess at no, then.

It depends on how it's affecting her life and health. An alcoholic can binge and abstain, or can drink at a more constant level daily.
The thing with addiction and getting help is the person needs to feel they are indeed an addict. You telling them you think they are won't necessarily help.

Doesn't sound too much to me

Perfect reply.

I did that for years. Bottle of wine at least 4 nights a week. I didn’t see myself with a problem. I didn’t need it or crave it. I would go travelling for a few weeks and just not drink at all as I was doing a lot of driving, didn’t even think about alcohol.

I decided to lose weight about 5 years ago (I was very overweight), so cut out all alcohol one day and haven’t had a drink since as I totally changed my diet. Not been fussed about alcohol once in all that time.

So it’s hard to say if someone has a problem with alcohol. I drank as I was having a fucking amazing time and a great social life. It was fun, but it wasn’t something I needed.

Can she stop if she wants to?

Al alcoholic can't stop once they start or stay stopped once they've decided to quit.

It’s more than twice the recommended amount for a woman, so it’s a big problem, even if she’s not an alcoholic.

I don't think it's much, not addiction levels.

A bottle in one sitting is a lot

But, if each bottle is 10.5%, then 3 bottles per week is 23 units ie about 50% more than recommended maximum. So, not great and not recommended but i don't know if it's a HUGE concern. May depend a little on other factors eg in someone who is overweight, smokers, poor diet, no exercise would presumably be greater concern than someone who is generally healthy

It may put her at increased risk of certain diseases and health conditions. Not sure that’s a big problem or just not a sensible approach to health. Units have a very limited relevance to the damage alcohol can do to a person

the amount of wine isnt that relevant tbh- is her drinking causing issues with relationships or work etc? Is it problematic? Is she out at bars a few nights a week enjoying herself with friends or is she using alcohol to escape poor MH or stressors?
The key sign of alcohol misuse it it’s impact and why the person is drinking , not the amount of units or regularity.

Sounds like it. If she answers yes to two or more of the CAGE screening questions then it warrants further investigation (it’s not a diagnosis though):

Have you ever felt you should Cut down on your drinking?
Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
Have you ever felt Guilty about your drinking?
Have you ever had an early morning drink (Eye-opener)?

Is that you DH?
I think it would be better if you spoke to me directly.
This is all a bit unedifying.

It’s not ideal but I wouldn’t say it’s unusual.

does it make someone an alcoholic? I couldn’t say. many other factors would depend on it.

sorry that’s not very helpful.

The term ‘alcoholic’ tends to not be very helpful these days and many services don’t use it. It leads people to think that if they are not hiding bottles in the hedge and/or drinking spirits out of paper bags, or if they don’t drink daily, they have nothing to worry about.

Alcohol dependent, problem drinking, alcohol reliant are terms that are commonly known use now.

Good questions to ask are:

“Is alcohol negatively affecting our lives?”
“does alcohol change our relationship?”
”does the family dynamic change when one of us is drinking?”

etc.

If the answers are yes, then it would point to alcohol use being problematic in some way.

I don’t like this thread. It feels like it is being used to win an argument/put someone down. Sorry if I have misjudged it but I think if there is an issue then there are better ways to go about it. I have lived with an alcoholic so can understand how difficult it is and it is ultimately why we broke up but they are still a person and if this is being used how I think it feels petty not supportive.

It’s alot. But! The reasons behind the drinking are more the point…is it drinking to relieve stress? Or anxiety? Are no other support systems available? I believe alcoholism is mainly a product of intersectional stress, lifestyle, modern expectations of women, lack of support, If DW tackles the root cause, drinking will lessen. 😊 Rarely is someone an ‘alcoholic’ due to purely addictive personality

It sounds average.

If she is able to stop then it should be fine either way.

However you are likely to run into serious issues unless you can openly communicate any concerns you have with her directly.