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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

TW To be triggered by the Pope's death?

70 replies

ThisFluentBiscuit · 21/04/2025 21:12

The nuns were horrible at my convent school. We had to watch a film of an abortion from the inside. Sex was seen as such a shameful, dirty thing - yet when you marry, you're supposed to suddenly be this sex machine ready to fill the word with children and raise them Catholic.

And the church simply will not get out of women's wombs. Not allowed contraception, not allowed abortion...the anti-choice, anti-woman nature of it a just makes me see red. The other Abrahamic religions allow contraception, including Islam.

Today reminds me how many people worship this institution and its misogyny.

OP posts:
AquaPeer · 21/04/2025 22:32

DriveMeCrazyRoadRage · 21/04/2025 22:28

I feel really sad for the millions of people that loved and worshipped him. Also feel for anyone that dies and it's sad.this man has passed away.

But today really did get me thinking about the role of pope. I mean, he's actually meant to be the human representation of god himself isn't he? Who could sincerely put themselves forward as that? Surely you'd have to be pretty narcissistic? And what on earth would compel you to try and convince other people you were that special? And to worship you? You must know in your heart that it's rubbish and you are just a normal bloke (or woman - can women be a pope too?) and not actually god!? so don't you feel a fraud getting millions of people to adore you and worship you as god on earth?

I find it all quite strange.

the catholic church is an institution, and run like one. The men who become pope are the senior leaders- the board of executives if you like. They’re as ambitious and politically savvy as a man who started in a bank at 16 and ended up CEO.

it’s not about convincing people as much as running/ leading/ directing the institution of the catholic church

Pollyanna87 · 21/04/2025 22:33

It’s understandable that you’re upset, but I’d keep in mind that there are well over 1,000,000,000 Catholics in the world, and you’ll find diversity amongst them. Perhaps read up on the upcoming conclave and the potential new Popes. It could be cathartic, in a way.

HouseCaptain · 21/04/2025 22:33

Perhaps you might be better to observe Catholicism analytically. You know it’s a form of control. Unfortunately lots of people need the hope that the church promises.
you might feel better if you watch the clip of Trump paying tribute to the pope on the balcony with Melanie and a giant Bunny…

greengreyblue · 21/04/2025 22:33

DriveMeCrazyRoadRage · 21/04/2025 22:28

I feel really sad for the millions of people that loved and worshipped him. Also feel for anyone that dies and it's sad.this man has passed away.

But today really did get me thinking about the role of pope. I mean, he's actually meant to be the human representation of god himself isn't he? Who could sincerely put themselves forward as that? Surely you'd have to be pretty narcissistic? And what on earth would compel you to try and convince other people you were that special? And to worship you? You must know in your heart that it's rubbish and you are just a normal bloke (or woman - can women be a pope too?) and not actually god!? so don't you feel a fraud getting millions of people to adore you and worship you as god on earth?

I find it all quite strange.

No the pope is the leader of the Catholic Church not a representative of God.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/04/2025 22:33

Lascivious · 21/04/2025 22:24

I was raised a Catholic, went to a convent school, taught by (horrid) nuns. Now non-practicing. It means nothing to me.

Can’t say I’m remotely triggered.

This is me too. Bloody awful people.

Lazlothevampire · 21/04/2025 22:34

I had the same experience as you at my Catholic convent school. The nuns were vile creatures.

I believe in God and Jesus, the bible but I don’t believe in religions at all. I don’t attend any church as I believe religious institutions are just there to segregate, stamp down and take money.

And I couldn’t give less of a fuck about the Pope if I tried.

Mrsgreen100 · 21/04/2025 22:37

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if on the death of Pope Francis the Catholic Church Cleaned up their act, I injured years of a Covent boarding school as a kid full of abusive nuns, paedophile priests,
The problem with the Catholic church it’s a closed shop male dominated it attracts the worst kind of people,
It’s time the Catholic Church changed the outdated views allowed priest to marry and live normal lives and they wouldn’t be so much abuse and misogyny within it
Watch the Vatican that documentary summed up everything I thought about it to be honest and the experienced

LoneAndLoco · 21/04/2025 22:37

Pollyanna87 · 21/04/2025 22:33

It’s understandable that you’re upset, but I’d keep in mind that there are well over 1,000,000,000 Catholics in the world, and you’ll find diversity amongst them. Perhaps read up on the upcoming conclave and the potential new Popes. It could be cathartic, in a way.

Diversity….except that they are all MEN, have no children (not officially anyway, cannot marry and can’t be gay (not officially)! Not so diverse.

It’s so noticeable that the entire thing is run by men, when a lot of the rest of the world has now moved on. Makes me very uncomfortable.

GreenTurtles3 · 21/04/2025 22:41

I am a catholic and attended primary school
from the mid 80s onwards. I am very lucky that in my experience, school and church were always a friendly, welcoming and kind place to be. Priests were kind and helped my family through some tough times. I realise that unfortunately this isn't everyone's experience.
I wed after having my children, lived with my now husband for years before marrying and have never bothered with confession since I made it as a teenager. I do however find comfort in attending church and the familiarity of the hymns and prayers. I have no feelings about the Pope, he had never really featured in my consciousness.

DriveMeCrazyRoadRage · 21/04/2025 22:41

greengreyblue · 21/04/2025 22:33

No the pope is the leader of the Catholic Church not a representative of God.

I think he's more than just leader of the Catholic church. Google reckons the pope is "referred to as the "Vicar of Christ," meaning he is considered Christ's representative on earth, acting in Christ's stead". Apparently "he represents a direct line back to Jesus. The second person of the Trinity.. In this sense, Catholics see Jesus as being present in the papacy"...

?

Lascivious · 21/04/2025 22:45

ThisFluentBiscuit · 21/04/2025 21:22

People who haven't been raised Catholic don't understand how deeply the teachings penetrate. Easy to say it doesn't affect me today. I found it like a cult.

I still have 5 really close friends I went to my convent school with, plus 3 older sisters. I really can’t say it penetrated. All we remember is the bitter old nuns and the laughs. I’d not trade my school days for anything as they were bloody brilliant. Thankfully, the nuns did not make up the bulk of the teaching body as they were pretty rubbish. We all went to good unis, no thanks to them.

Not one of us is remotely religious now.

stonebrambleboy · 21/04/2025 22:45

I've been to the Vatican and it would be hard to find a more soulless place. So far removed from Jesus of Nazareth. One big business run totally by men. And the Paul VI Audience Hall is plain evil, why the serpents head?

AquaPeer · 21/04/2025 22:46

DriveMeCrazyRoadRage · 21/04/2025 22:41

I think he's more than just leader of the Catholic church. Google reckons the pope is "referred to as the "Vicar of Christ," meaning he is considered Christ's representative on earth, acting in Christ's stead". Apparently "he represents a direct line back to Jesus. The second person of the Trinity.. In this sense, Catholics see Jesus as being present in the papacy"...

?

But it is just an institution, one that needs someone as CEO. The pope is elected from senior members of the Catholic Church. He’s obviously not a direct line to Jesus. Not sure people ever believed that but certainly, they do far less so in the west at least. He’s just top man

DriveMeCrazyRoadRage · 21/04/2025 22:49

AquaPeer · 21/04/2025 22:46

But it is just an institution, one that needs someone as CEO. The pope is elected from senior members of the Catholic Church. He’s obviously not a direct line to Jesus. Not sure people ever believed that but certainly, they do far less so in the west at least. He’s just top man

Ok! I had assumed Catholics believed he was connected to jesus and a representative of god on earth. I don't hold any religion and none of it makes sense to me!

Blueeyedmale · 21/04/2025 22:56

Feel sorry for the pope as a person don't feel sorry for the catholic church both my parents were catholic and my grandparents were strict catholic went to church and Sunday school every Sunday.

As A child I heard a lot of disgusting things women who have an abortion are evil murderers, lesbian and gay people are sick and god can cure them if they don't ask for forgiveness they will go to hell.

This is the late 80s early 90s but what kind of sick cult tells a child that a woman is not allowed to make a choice about her body,that a woman can't love another woman or a man cant love another man.

I've had no contact with the church since the age of 15 and I don't know if it's changed but I would never put my child through what I had to listen to.it took me a long time to change my thought process going into adulthood.feel sad that an old man has died but I feel no sorrow for the catholic church.

Some of you may feel my comments are a bit harsh and I apologise if they offended anyone it's just my view

MissIonX · 21/04/2025 23:02

ExtraOnions · 21/04/2025 22:22

I was raised Catholic … taught by nuns… still go to church, and am a Governor at a Catholic School.

I believe in female bodily autonomy, have no issues with homosexuality, we have Pride weeks at school, I don’t worry about people divorcing, I have used contraception - as millions upon millions of Catholics do.

We all have free-will, we don’t have to blindly follow anything. We can question and critique.

As Pope Francis told us, our number 1 priority should be to spread love. If we are asked to do anything that does not spread love, we don’t do it, even if our religion wants us to.

He used his last address to talk about Refugess and Migrants (something that the church is very clear about. He ran a number of exercises during his pontificate to listen to the views of ordinary Catholics, and set out to make changes.

I think you will find Catholic Schools very different to how they were 40 years ago, ditto with churches.

I love this post. The content of the op made me sad that that had been her experience. I hope you recover and find peace OP.

I have enjoyed the time of this Pope, and think he has been wonderful for our Church.

My own sentiments are similar, and I still am very much am a practising Catholic.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 21/04/2025 23:06

I watched Philomena today. So much cruelty in the name of Catholicism. It’s hard to believe Christ would have any truck with what his teachings have been warped into.

GooseberryBeret · 22/04/2025 07:33

I’m an atheist and I’m sad the Pope is dead. He used his position to deliver some hard truths on climate change, to speak out about atrocities and in support of refugees for example. It’s hard to say how much practical difference this actually made, but a new Pope is unlikely to have the same priorities, and may be much more conservative. So I think Pope Francis dying is the loss of an important voice for humanity.

Just to be clear, that doesn’t mean I think the Catholic Church is in itself a force for good - harmful beliefs about women and sexuality, combined with power without accountability, have proved deeply destructive, especially in Ireland. (Obviously Catholics would say the Church is accountable to God, but God is not down on earth preventing repeat offending).

soupyspoon · 22/04/2025 07:37

Screamingabdabz · 21/04/2025 21:21

As a Christian I agree. Jesus would not recognise the Catholic church as the body of Christ. Just a load of self important misogynists who have completely lost sight of the gospel message.

Jesus was Jewish and that's all we know about him, he sounds like he would have been an extremist for his day, hence why he got in trouble with the law. Makes me laugh when people try to make out he was some happy clappy hippy that loved everyone

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 22/04/2025 08:09

I’m not catholic but my husband and a long term boyfriend came from Irish descent catholic families. The one thing that I noticed with both that they and their male
friends were so respectful of women - so some of these comments here about it being ruled by men are interesting. My kids go to a catholic school now- they are not catholic- and yes they do come back saying the teacher has said this - catholic view- but my kids have been brought up to think for themselves. I will say though again you can tell the kids that go to the catholic school, more well mannered, respectful, behold values (not catholic, just everyday values).

ThisFluentBiscuit · 22/04/2025 08:10

soupyspoon · 22/04/2025 07:37

Jesus was Jewish and that's all we know about him, he sounds like he would have been an extremist for his day, hence why he got in trouble with the law. Makes me laugh when people try to make out he was some happy clappy hippy that loved everyone

He wasn't? I thought he was...

OP posts:
heldinadream · 22/04/2025 08:16

It can be a long, long journey away from childhood religious influences @ThisFluentBiscuit . And a painful one. Many people all over the world will be full of ambivalent and confusing feelings today, you're not alone. Take care of yourself. Anything you feel is valid to feel. 💐

ThisFluentBiscuit · 22/04/2025 08:18

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 22/04/2025 08:09

I’m not catholic but my husband and a long term boyfriend came from Irish descent catholic families. The one thing that I noticed with both that they and their male
friends were so respectful of women - so some of these comments here about it being ruled by men are interesting. My kids go to a catholic school now- they are not catholic- and yes they do come back saying the teacher has said this - catholic view- but my kids have been brought up to think for themselves. I will say though again you can tell the kids that go to the catholic school, more well mannered, respectful, behold values (not catholic, just everyday values).

They might be very respectful to the laydeez, but it's a 1950s kind of sexist respect. The kind that thinks we're soft, special princesses in whose presence no one should swear, and whose husbands want to protect them so much that they shouldn't work but stay home, have ten babies, and let the man of the house worry about the money. The kind of respect that thinks laydeez should never pay for anything and shoud have long, shiny hair down to their bottoms. I don't want special respect because I'm female. I want someone who respects everyone for their humanity, whether male, female, gay, trans, pans, or whatever. And you don't usually find that in the Catholic church.

OP posts:
SeasonalKitsch · 22/04/2025 08:19

soupyspoon · 22/04/2025 07:37

Jesus was Jewish and that's all we know about him, he sounds like he would have been an extremist for his day, hence why he got in trouble with the law. Makes me laugh when people try to make out he was some happy clappy hippy that loved everyone

Happy clappy, maybe not.

Loving everyone? Isn’t that the whole point?

ThisFluentBiscuit · 22/04/2025 08:19

GooseberryBeret · 22/04/2025 07:33

I’m an atheist and I’m sad the Pope is dead. He used his position to deliver some hard truths on climate change, to speak out about atrocities and in support of refugees for example. It’s hard to say how much practical difference this actually made, but a new Pope is unlikely to have the same priorities, and may be much more conservative. So I think Pope Francis dying is the loss of an important voice for humanity.

Just to be clear, that doesn’t mean I think the Catholic Church is in itself a force for good - harmful beliefs about women and sexuality, combined with power without accountability, have proved deeply destructive, especially in Ireland. (Obviously Catholics would say the Church is accountable to God, but God is not down on earth preventing repeat offending).

Yeah, he was concerned about everyone and everything except women, who he deemed not good enough to be ordained because of what's between their legs. Makes me so mad.

OP posts: