Husbands phone on silent

[Couldntthinkofausername24]

As the title says basically. His phone is always on silent. Every God damn day. Can never get hold of him and it pisses me off so much.

He just leaves it laying about on. In his pocket, on the settee, in the baby bag, on the fireplace always on silent. Nobody can get hold of him ever. They ring me or text me. He could be out in the garden for a few hours and dosent check when he comes back in.

It's not password protected and he leaves it in plain sight so there is no issue with trust etc it just pisses me off. I can ever get hold of him. He could be at work and just never comes back to me in a reasonable time in an emergency.

Can anyone relate

for future reference if you both have iPhones in the same 'family ' network then you can activate the Find My iPhone tone on your partners phone in an emergency. It's noisy, but it works. DH once did it when he thought I had overslept as I didn't text him in the morning - I was awake but very distracted as I dropped my makeup brush in my tea.

I wish my partner was like yours.....he is constantly doom scrolling and it winds me up something chronic..... I'm team DH (also a "silent" phoner that has come to the conclusion that SM is evil lol)

Also at a car boot today someone had a load of old BT Phone Cards for sale.... my 9 year olds face when I explained what they were! 😂off topic I know but we managed back
In the day without mobile phones. Lol

Change it to the setting where if you ring it twice in a row it rings

Very annoying, is there a way to put everyone else on silent excluding you, I think there might be depending on the type of phone you have

I can relate.... to your husband. My phone is always on silent, as I don't want to be at people's beck and call. I don't think my husband has had cause to phone me in over 20 years - he very occasionally sends me a message. Unless someone has a job where they are actually "on call", I don't understand why anyone bothers turning on the sound.

My phone is always silent, for everything. Has been since my first mobile back in 1998!

I like to choose when I check it, not have it constantly beep for things. I also don't have a smartwatch for the same reason.

I do concede there are times I should be more contactable for my husband and for my son's pre school. I need to work on this!

I do put it on loud for when I (rarely) am waiting for a call from the doctor.

Yeah i think you can do the 'do not disturb' thing but you have to enable that which no doubt he will forget to do 🥴 think I'm just fighting an endless battle.

I just know if something bad was to happen and I didn't contact him first he would feel so sad

If I miss a call from dh, he comes through Alexa or Google.😂

My phones always on silent, unless dcs are at school! I hate when people contact me when I've just put the kids to bed as well.... noooo!!

My phone is set to only ring for DH, I can’t remember the step by step, but it was straightforward to do

tough, he is a parent, he needs to be contactable, it can’t all be on you

Most people would love to have the luxury of putting their phone on silent every day but unfortunately that isn’t reality for a number of reasons

I'm the same, but I was born in the 80s so spent many years without phone reliance. We didn't use a landline for most of my childhood, just used a phone box if we needed something. I hate notifications, I only turn on if the kids are out of the house so they can reach me or school.

Just to add, depending on the phone, you can set up notifications to always be notified about calls from certain people-maybe look into that

My phone has been on silent 24/7 for at least 22yrs!

I was born in the 80s too, but never knew anybody without a landline. You used to need a home landline number for most services.

Everyone I know has their phone permanently on sim. I'm amazed that there is anyone who doesn't have theirs on silent

Op is going to end up the default for lots of parenting. Sick kids etc. It's not fair you can't just opt out.

There’s a few things going on here, I think.

Firstly, nothing wrong in general in having a phone on silent pretty much all the time. Loads of people do, including me.

He should be contactable by you in an emergency, so change the setting so that it always rings/beeps if it’s you. Easy to do (although in my experience not 100% reliable for reasons I can’t work out). Alternatives are the find my phone set up, maybe a landline at home?

Second issue is that you are expected to be his secretary and filter his calls etc because people come to you if they can’t get him. That’s pretty arrogant of him and I would put a stop to it. At the moment he’s getting all of the benefit of not having his phone and none of the downside, as other people are running around after him. I’d be having none of that.

The secretary point does suggest there may be a wider issue of you having to make sacrifices for his desires, similar to your point about you having to do all nursery issues etc. because he doesn’t answer. Is that actually the bigger issue?

Imagine having landlines again, where you have to answer, not knowing who it is, couldn't put those on silent! 😂 I remember my parents saying 9pm was the cut off, or it must be an emergency! Then it would end up being dm's sister ringing about something insignificant.

This is me! I leave it in the kitchen. There is no need for anyone to have 24/ 7 access to me. I'm there in the morning and home in the evening. I don't want to be bothered otherwise. I haven't run off!!

But grew up without mobiles. I have a work mobile. I'm paid to be on call with that.

Dd invoked ire from a boy whom said he couldn't date her as she took so long to respond. Apparently you're supposed to be poised waiting for messages and respond instantly :)

My husband is the same. It drives me fucking nuts. My kids are all older teens now, & they know if ever you need help don't waste time calling Dad because he's not picking up even if he's sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THE PHONE!!!

Are you also married to my husband? Haha. Mine is always on loud in case I get a call about the kids being ill or something, it is annoying because I feel like he's washing his hands of that responsibility. And it makes me the default person people contact. My MIL was the worst for it, to the point I stopped replying to her (unless an emergency). Now when she does get hold of him she's forever moaning to him about it. He doesn't change though. His phone has been on loud twice in 12 years - both times when I hit 37 weeks pregnant with the kids. As soon as they were born it went back on silent

My phone's almost always on silent.

At work it's required (not required but someone will complain). My DM always calls really early and usually when I've stepped away so it wakes everyone up.

I hate when websites / FB have loud ads or videos that start playing as soon as you open the page.

Spam calls late at night.

Silent is just easier, unless I'm expecting an important call.

DH doesn't do silent and his phone is going off with group chat messages every two minutes from his hobby group. Drives me insane!

My phone is on silent except for my dad and my brother, who are on emergency bypass. DP used to go mental as I never picked up his calls. I just hate the noises of a phone.

but I now have a smart watch that vibrates when someone calls. Makes me much easier to contact on phone. However didn’t stop me reading texts and forgetting to reply.

I absolutely detest phone noises. All
of them. Even just vibrate. I think it is really obnoxious to be walking around making all those noises. I will never, ever do it. My phone is permanently on silent, I just check sporadically. If I were queen of the world, phones on silent always would be one of my top laws.