AIBU to ask you all to help me get over someone who has today posted a photo with their new GF by reading the list of icks

[Havingasmashingtime]

I was seeing someone for two years and it ended about 6 months ago.
although I knew it was over between us and I’ve been fine, I have today seen a photo of him with his new girlfriend and for some reasons it’s cut me a little bit (WHY!!!)

so a bit light hearted I promise- if I list the ‘icks’ (sorry I know some hate that phrase) will you help me pick myself up by choosing one to agree with and make me feel better?

1- his finger nails were so badly chewed they looked really tiny and quite sore. Eew.

2- he didn’t give any foreplay but always expected it back.

3- despite having great teeth he brushed them with a badly overused brush and for about 15 seconds.

4- he wore the same 4 T-shirts on rotation for the 2 years I knew him. Same tshirt for any occasion be it Xmas day, hiking a fell, holiday abroad or mowing the lawn.

5- he bragged about being ‘rich’ saying he had a trust fund, loads of savings account, owning silver? He did have a well paid job HOWEVER we paid everything 50/50 and he would gasp at the prices of everything like cocktails, food- money isn’t important to me and I’m happy to pay but I thought it was funny how he bragged but there was never any kindness or treats but I would for him.

6- on holiday he would barely shower- even though we would be hot and sweaty from extreme heat I had to tell him he should have a shower.

7- he always wore a cap, usually the same white cap that sometimes was covered in yellow marks (sweat) yet he barely washed it.

8- I got an ick from his work ethic. Despite a good job he would call in sick a lot even though he wasn’t or he’d tell them his kids were sick to get a day off.

Argh- why has it hurt me to see he has moved on!

Oh wow, he's stingy when it comes to foreplay, money and hygiene.

One of those is enough.

How on earth did he compensate for those deficiencies in 2 years? I genuinely can't think of anything that would be enough to forgive even one of them.

You don't want a smelly, tight man who is selfish in bed. Give your head a wobble!

I am sorry you had such low self-esteem to remain with someone like that for two years. I hope you are better now.

He sounds absolutely 100% gross, not someone I'd be around let alone in the same house/bed with! Just ew ew ew

He sounds like a dirty teenager. Just reading all them gave me the serious ick!

you are well rid!!

Please list the 4 t shirts - this Ick List is so great I want more details!

The hat thing has made me feel a bit queasy. I wear a (black, cotton) baseball cap to the gym (mostly to avoid eye accidental contact with strange men but also to keep my hair off my forehead). I can wear it about 3 times (for around an hour each time) before a salty sweat stain appears so I own 3 identical ones to wear on rotation and hand wash/drip dry.

ONE hat, ALL day, EVERY day? Never washed at all? In WHITE?

Fuck no.

I feel sorry for the new lass.

I think the fact that he's with someone else is making you think he's still attractive. It's always bloody annoying when the ex moves on first. But he's a skanky, tightfisted, lazy twat and on top of that, a lousy poke. You know when you give up smoking because it's a filthy, unhelpful habit but see some convivial scene of friends laughing and chatting and having a smoke and you get an envious pang ..it's that. Just think of him as a filthy habit and try to feel pity for the poor sod who's now stuck with him xx

To answer the ‘how did I last 2 years’ it was quite a long distance relationship so we only seen each other 2 weekends a month (both have kids from prev relationships)
maybe that’s how it lasted so long.

his good points are that he was good conversation and funny. And I knew he wasn’t a dick in anyway.

I ended it as the distance didn’t work and because the icks became too strong.

I haven’t even been checking his SM- it popped up by accident and as a result I was absolutely not expecting to see- which has knocked me sideways a bit- to have this sad reaction about it has really pissed me off.

you have made me feel better thank you SO MUCH.

someone asked about the T-shirts- they were from Asda and all a plain colour. I don’t care so much about fashion etc but after seeing them that many times I thought he could at least make some effort with style?

@Kingsleadhat
i am screenshotting that- you have said it perfectly THANK YOU

Bloody hell, woman, I thought you were going to say you were early 20s, but clearly not as he was with someone else for 20 years beforehand and you both have children.

You're old enough to know better. He's just a huge walking.Ick.

I'd be grateful he wasn't into foreplay. I wouldn't want his dirty mouth or dirty fingers anywhere near my bits!!

I'm sorry it took you by surprise and knocked you sideways to see the photo, but you should be nothing more than relieved. He's someone else's problem.

🤮

Was he wearing a George special in the photo OP or has he splashed out on a new set of ‘basic t’s’

Great post
If he knocked on your door tomorrow OP and wanted another chance? I think you’d still say no.
You don’t want him, he’s gross. She will be seeing all that.
You are free! Meet who you want, go out and flirt with some men, distract yourself. You’re a beautiful kickarse woman who doesn’t need no selfish, tight, unshowering twat!

Can you all be my real life friends? I absolutely love your take on this. Thank you.

we are both 40 if that helps.
and yes I SHOULD know better!!

I didn’t even list all of the icks! Just the first that sprung to mind.

and “the George special” made me cry laughing thank you. I didn’t actually see but it was a close up head shot of them both sat faces pushed together- I’m not gonna go back for a second look to check 🤢

I was feeling sick at the first one and as for all the others, I can't understand why you were with him for two minutes let alone two years!

Not showering on holiday 🤢

@lovemycbf Betty Swollocks are always essential on a Romantic getaway

keep adding more here and then you can come back and read it if you ever feel weak!

Omg please list more. These are so entertaining!

I’m more horrified at the fact you were with him 2 years! Bad sex, body odour, tightwad, dirty teeth, no dress sense, stained white cap 🤢 she’s bagged herself a top of the range bloke there! Schadenfreude galore mate, I’d put the comment pp suggested ‘aaaw sweet, so glad you’re having fun’ 🤣 in all seriousness it’s natural to feel a twinge of some unidentifiable emotion when you see an ex move on, i have, even the ones I cringe about having been with.