Cricket and family time

[lallala]

My DH plays cricket as a hobby and everything is at the beck and call of the game now the season started. Aibu to think that it's rubbish he spends one full day of the weekend playing plus training one to two evenings during the week??! We've got a 5 year old and I'd like there to be more family time

There's usually a great social element to cricket. Could you and the little 'un cheer on daddy when he's playing? Give it a chance?

YANBU. It’s every single Saturday, all day and most of the evening- from April to September. It’s such a pain (to put it mildly)

Surrendering to cricket gave me The Best friends I have ever known! We all play now. Get that kid signed up for All Stars and find your training night Gin and Tonic mums! If I said more it would be outing, but it’s a great tribe to be part of.

Thing is there are many family’s who decide in advance that they (the parents) aren’t going to give up their hobbies when dc come along, but will just make it even. So, one gets Saturday, ond Sunday, for example. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as both agree.

and there’s other families who want to spend all their spare time together.

all are fine, everything in between is fine, so long as it’s mutual.

the difficulty for you op is that you don’t seem to have discussed it. He wanted to carry on with his hobbies, you wanted family time.

But if he doesn't go to cricket what else has been planned? If there aren't plans and you just want to hang around the house then he'll see it as wasted time that could've been cricket time.

Can you get Sundays or another day to do your hobby whilst he watches the children?

Make the cricket matches family time - mixing with the other families, supporting daddy on the field, learning how to score, enjoying a picnic tea if the club doesn't do teas, having a stroll around the edge of the ground, learning how to just 'be'. Cricket is a way of life.

It does completely take over summer but like others have said....it's a very sociable game so why not go and watch? I say this as someone who has never picked up a bat in her life yet somehow finds herself an All Stars coach, u9 manager, safeguarding officer, parent of u9 and u15, eldest plays senior seconds too and husband is a "non playing player" ie when they need numbers (but he did take a catch twice!). Anyway that might sound like hell to a lot of people, and I'm sure I'll be fed up in a few weeks but there's definitely worse things to be doing.

Nah it's a blight on the summer. Every single weekend. Weddings, beach days, even family holidays have to be juggled. It's a no from me.

Cricket was a major factor in whether or not i continued a relationship on more than one occasion (am drawn to public school types). I absolutely get the social side, but it’s a game that consumes an entire afternoon and evening. It’s not a hobby, it’s a way of life from April to October (fucking friendlies and playoffs). It wouldn’t be so bad if the summer is good, but if it’s not it’s eight slooooooow hours of freezing to death.

My actual advice would have been to stomp on it before you had kids. Now you do, may I recommend golf lessons for the next birthday/Christmas because that’s only 5 hours (4 to play, 1 to talk shite).

Another one who loves the extended cricket family. The kids love going more than I do, so many children to play with.

Depends on the rest of the year. DH plays and yes, it's a bit of pain when it's one day of the weekend for months of the year. But there are whole long weekends a couple of other times a year I go away. And all the rest of the year he's around and fully part of our family life. He fully earns the cricket Saturdays.

My husband is a cricket player but he stopped playing with DS was born and picked it up again when he was 6. It was completely his choice.

Now DS is involved and plays as well so it’s one full weekend day for DH and then 2 training sessions and then DS games. It’s a lot. However I like cricket so I go and watch.

a lot does depend on what kind of ground the team have - have a a lovely ground with a big outfield kids can play on and we have a lovely bar. Whereas my friends husband plays at a club with no extra space (the boundary is right up to the car park) a few benches and no bar. I never go and watch when my DH plays there.

the thing that really bugs me though is when it’s raining it takes all day for the umpire and captains to call the bloody match off. Especially if a team desperately wants points. This should be the umpires calls only as my husband has sat there all day and it was only called off half and hour before the end would have been. All because the other team’s captain wanted points as they were challenging for the title. It was obvious they would not be able to get on and it was a day wasted.

also he once played for a team at the beginning of our relationship that was very clicky and I never felt comfortable going to watch.

my son started with all stars and last season he won the trophy for youth player of the year. He loves it and on the whole it’s friendly. Whereas I have found football to be the opposite

Also when your kid is older scoring is a great way to make some pocket money

Another bloke whose hobby dictates what the rest of the family does. Somehow never seems to be the dad with this problem.

Depends on the ground. Ours is amazing, bbq most weekends and food vans, lovely bar, massive park and playing field. Take a picnic and snacks for kids and it’s a lovely and cheap day out, minus a couple of G&Ts or ciders which you have to pay for ! Kids do all stars on a Friday evening, all the kids stay and play and ice cream man comes etc. some of the more urban grounds with no space, falling down club house etc are just boring and i’d not want to be tied to a club like that!

Also agree it’s way friendlier and whilst kids can get c competitive the parents on the whole are more chilled and just enjoying a pint etc whereas footie and rugby parents can be insane (other sports too, hello gymnastics 👀

But why should OP have to join her husband's tribe rather than getting to have a tribe based on her own interests?

Nothing stopping her doing exactly that, but cricket can enhance family time rather than threaten it.

YANBU - it’s bullshit. I recommend getting an equally, if not more, all consuming hobby that he cannot complain about because of the cricket. I went with horses 😉
As for ‘the great social scene’ espoused by PPs above, I’ve never found it. For the last 20 years I’ve been with DH all the clubs have been dominated by one or two families who basically run the whole show and if your face doesn’t fit with them forget about it! Al least doing sodding teas got knocked on the head by COVID..,

YANBU, DH was an umpire but gave it up when family life took off. Now 10 years later we’ve got 2 boys who play cricket so he gets his fix there and he’s not leaving us to go off to indulge himself, it kind of is family time.

I’m probably biased but my late dad played cricket when we were kids and I have many happy memories of going to the games and playing with the other kids whilst the game was on . It got me hooked on the game as well so id say embrace it .

The trick is to get your dc in to playing cricket. Then, in time, your DH can be involved in their training and matches. That way DH will have a strong involvement with your dc, their friends etc.

I know a number of dads who are very involved in their dc’s grassroots football and cricket, my DH included. It is a great way for dads and dc to have shared interests especially through the teenage years.

Dont fight it @lallala, play the long game.

Totally agree. You have to suggest an alternative.

YANBU and I love cricket. My husband used to play on one of the weekend days before we had children. If you were to claim the same amount of personal time as him then clearly there would not be any family time. I don’t understand all these people saying make a family day of it. Before children, when I used to go to some of the matches, the children were always bored/ whinging and the poor mums had to look after them and stop them from running on to the pitch.

Couldn’t agree more with you about the families who think they are the main characters in the organisation.