Aibu about these photos?

[Isitbedtimeyet101]

Mil keeps giving us photos in frames presumably to put up in our house.

The photos are of dh when he was a baby. Dh winning a trophy when he was about 12. Dh at a festival when he was about 18 before I knew him. Sil (dh’s sister) wedding photos.

Aibu to think this is very weird and not want to put these photos up in our house? I only want phones of my own children, me and dh. Dh wants to put his baby photos up.

Another thing, dh mum gave him a box of his old baby/childhood stuff and there is an old child’s character blanket from when he was a kid. He wants to put it on our bed instead of the throw.

If you want more lighthearted, further to my earlier reply about letting DH have some agency in the home, I’ve remembered that my SIL sent a ‘memory’ photo to the group chat today, the whole family smiling 13 years ago. Her, her kids, MIL, DH….. and his Ex. Erm, cheers SIL. What a lovely family reminder for everyone. I’ll come back and let you know if we get the framed version for Christmas 🙄

Sounds like she's decluttering, will say you doing it eventually. Sad but true.
I'd put the photo in an album they are nice to have for your Kids and DGC.

The throw. Recycle bin ? 😬
Sod putting that in my house for my kids to declutter when I pop it.

No, it isn't usual OP. I don't think I've ever met anyone (man or woman) with framed photos of themselves as babies/children around the house. It's usually their parents (notably their mums) who do that in their own house. I mean, maybe one photo of a particularly momentus occasion perhaps but other than that it would be considered a bit weird.

He definitely does get to choose a lot. He’s overruled me loads of times on bigger things than photos.

I do find it a bit odd tbh that he wouldn’t put a photo up of one of these dc, or even him and the dc but he wants all of these pictures of himself.

On my wedding day, my MIL gave me a ton of DH photos, of her pregnant, of him as a baby, of him as a child, "giving these to you as they should be yours now" - I thought it was pretty weird, His life as a child are their memories, not mine.

They are still in the envelope with the wedding cards.

I’d get massive ick if my husband suggested putting his 35yr+ baby blanket on our bed, that would be a massive own goal for him.

The baby photos I’d be less bothered about although I’d probs give the frames back and put them in something matching my others.

Fil managed to hand over a full photo album at our wedding during the speaches it was completely cringe worthy. I don't even know where that album is, OMG he went on forever.

My own Dads speach was less than a minute!

I guess I’m a weird one, yup I have my and dh’s baby photos framed and on the wall of our bedroom. Black and white professional photos. So that my kids could see what we looked like. I have a collage of black and white historic family photos of our parents, grandparents and great grandparents again so the kids learn their family history.
Shortly after each dear child reached a sensible age I bundled and gave them back childhood mementos to sort as they so pleased (every report card, birth certificates and immunization records etc.) I’ve NOT doled out their blankets yet…

take note ladies! All these photos you take of your children are meaningless and some day a wife won’t even want to see them around her house 😂

It is a bit weird- especially the blanket!!!

But we do have some childhood photos around- I’ve got adult kids and younger ones too, so have one of those multi frame things and that has a baby photo of each kid plus one of DH and one of me. But in general, no I don’t think childhood photos tend to be a thing unless with a relative who sadly died etc and then that would be the only photo of someone with you that you’d have?

How old is your MIL, OP?

Perhaps she is consciously, or unconsciously, increasingly aware of her own mortality. This is her not wanting her memories to disappear and to live on when she is gone, hence she is giving them to you both for gentle safe-keeping. I hope that makes some sense.

I would try to find locations for the photos which didn't offend me too much. Maybe suggest a photo wall in the hall or something and blend DH's pics in with the rest of the family.

And I'd explain that the blanket is a massive turn off. ("I'm a grown woman. I will not have sex under Thomas the Tank Engine.") And pointing out how weird it all is.

I'm all for "Let people enjoy things" but you need to be able to enjoy them too.

The blanket is vile. But I love having old photos up all round the house. We have loads of DH and me, my parents, my in laws and out grandparents and great grandparents from various ages of childhood onwards.

YANBU, OP. Wouldn't DH's mates take the piss out of him? Is he narcissistic?

A selection/collage of old family photos is great. Just framed ones of DH as a baby would look a little odd to me.

Oh I loved it when Mil gave me loads of DH. He looked the spit of 2 our kids.

Do you have a downstairs loo or a spare room? Have a photo wall - arrange them all in one big group along with other family photos and it’ll be an interesting feature but you wont have to look at it very often.

Is she having a clear out? My ex parents in law did exactly this, "gave back" ex's "stuff" he just stored it all in the garage. It's probably still there.

They’re not meaningless though are they?

Would you give your future dil framed pictures of your sons baby photos as presents though?

She’s only in her early 60s.

I don’t think she was having a clear out, she gives me these as presents.

So for Christmas I get a framed photo of dh and his sister in the bath. Just what I wanted.

I take on board that people DO put their baby photos up. TBH I thought that was a bit odd. I’ve never personally been in anyone’s house where they’ve got their own childhood photos on display. It’s usually their own children, maybe a couple of parents/grandparents.

We haven’t got photos on the wall though or a gallery wall or anything like that. We’ve literally got about 5 photos dotted about and they are all of dh and the kids on holiday or on a walk. So dh has stuck a photo of himself in a nappy right on the mantlepiece. I really just don’t want to look at it tbh.

But I definitely take it on board that it’s not as odd as I thought. Perhaps I’ll suggest if it means a lot to him he could make a gallery wall.

We have lots of random vintage family photos on one wall of the office. So not necessarily for visitors' eyes. My favourites are a line of small shots of FIL, DF, MIL, DM, me, DP, DD1, DD2 and DD3 all at age 2/3. I love looking at similarities etc. They are in birth order, just waiting for GC to be added now💕

@Isitbedtimeyet101 does his sister know you have a photo of her in her birthday suit in the bath?

I didn't realise Mil was presenting these as actual gifts, I thought it was more of a clear out. Handing them over randomly.

It's almost like a subtle message, he is mine or was mine before he was yours, something weird going on there.

Ask her does she want an up to date bath shot (carefully taken obviously) 😂

Oh dear! Happy birthday 😂

Yes sorry I have read my op and I didn’t say that they were gifts. I just said that she was giving us photos.

But yes for gifts I’ve been given. My sils wedding photos, my dhs baby photos (including ones with sil).

She doesn’t even give them to dh she gives them to me.