AIBU to hate bank holidays?

[SophieB0012]

I literally cannot wait for Easter to be over. I feel this horrible crushing pressure to do stuff whenever it's a bank holiday and when the weathers nice I feel like the worst mum and human in the world if we're in the house. We managed to fit in quite a bit at the start of the holidays and now we're all tired and a bit irritable and I just want my routine back.

I don't really know what I want out of this post. I guess it would just make me feel a bit better if someone else also just hates it and wants normality back. I think I've got undiagnosed ADHD and I'm much better when I'm quite literally forced into the school routine. I have to be up and out (often a bit late but still) and once I am up and out everything else feels easier to cope with. I find having to think of things to do and planning stuff excruciating - like almost painful. I'm starting to think as I write this maybe I should look at some sort of therapy 😂

The trouble is once the kids are back at school I miss them terribly and then feel awful I didn't plan more and make the most of it more. In all honesty I would like to remove my brain and give it a good scrub and put it back in.

I would just like to be the sort of person who wakes up in the morning with tremendous amounts of energy and gets up at 6am and is ready to leave with a packed bag to go to the beach or for a hike at 8:30am!

It just seems no matter how much I wish to be that person I lollop out of bed at 9 like a bear coming round from hibernation and remember I haven't got anything ready to do anything 😂

Yeah me too, I'm normally a bad sleeper so enjoy a lie in, then feel terribly guilty for wasting part of the day. Then I start to count down the days till I have to go back to work - like others have said, it's the Sunday blues x4

I've got to be honest the kids don't seem to care either way. I'm the one who ends up with cabin fever feeling guilty. They're pretty good at keeping themselves occupied if we're not out doing stuff!

Nothing to do with undiagnosed ADHD but simply parenting overwhelm, the constant guilt and FOMO.

That is exactly how it feels - like a Sunday on steroids!

Mine are a bit older now so too old for a lot of activities that we used to do but too young to be out playing on their own all day so this is the first year i’ve really struggled. We used to go to dobbies, hobbycraf, libraries etc for things to do especially easter ones but this year we’ve not did much. We did move house 18 months ago and have met some nice kids and they’ve loved being out to the park in the estate. We’ve also a better garden here so the first week was lovely but bar a day trip to the beach with ice cream and fish and chips we didn’t go anywhere. This week has dtagged in with the miserable weather and although i like to get out for a bit each day even jist for a walk we’ve had a few this week where we haven’t and gone stir crazy.

we went to costa after doing the food shop for hot chocolate and shopping for summer clothes but thats it. Today we did bowling and mcdonalds as its too expensive to do this types of activities through out the holidays especially compared to how we used to spend them. I feel guilty but they’ve survived. Maybe do an easter trail tomorrow if weather ok before they fully out grow stuff like that and Monday will be a lazy day.

i’ve tried to focus on the fact that just being chilled out, having ins and later nights than usual is still a break from routine and try to take some of the guilt off. I wish mine were as young as yours again as i actualy found that easier to amuse them. Crafts, board games, baking etc when home which they don’t want to do so much now.

Such a shame that you chose to have a dig at a mother who is clearly struggling.

I love BH, and loved all the school holidays.

However, my DC were quite happy to spend some days at home. I remember XSIL being OUTRAGED that we weren’t out doing Things all day every day. It was DREADFUL! When she popped in once and caught us having a pyjama day, she nearly burst a blood vessel 😂

I really didn’t care. You do whatever suits you with your DC @SophieB0012 and don’t let other people’s expectations stress you out.

You say you tend to feel better once you are out of the house, but hate the planning part. Why not just dump the planning? Take the kids and just walk out of the door. Go wherever your feet take you, get on a bus or train, or let the kids choose once you're out. Tell them it's an adventure.

Is this a left over feeling of inertia from your childhood when Sundays were so bloody dull and lifeless you would count down the hours until the misery ended? And if all 4 days feel like this then no wonder you are not having fun!

I think the ONLY solution is to pack that bag right now op, for tomorrow, with the postcode of somewhere fun and just get on and do it. Give yourself a free pass to roll around on Monday to 10am 👍🏻

The pressure we feel as mums today to do all the things is immense and a big reason is social media. I simply don't even care anymore about what others are doing. Unfollow any accounts on social media that make you feel any pressure and know that as a mum you're amazing and doing a great job. As a kid in the 90s my best memories were hours at the park or beach or spending time with family and friends.

I think there's loads of pressure to "make the most" of Bank Holidays - social media doesn't help as it's often full of people #makingmemories or spending their time doing nice, wholesome activities (all of which cost a small fortune).

But in reality I suspect the majority of people are just doing normal weekend stuff.

I don't know the answer for you OP but the tiredness I am sure is a part. Is there anything you can do to reduce it?

If we had no bank holidays a lot of people would have little time off, given those on MN who check emails or other work when on holiday.

I've just made a plan to go to a nice country park tomorrow with DD, DS, DF and DM!

I think posting this really helped to get me out of my own head. There's loads of playparks and climbing bits and a lovely cafe.

Again I'm really grateful for all the replies - I didn't expect hardly any and it's felt like having a pep talk from friends so thank you 😊

It sounds like you need to find a way to take the pressure off yourself! I've done pretty much bugger all today and it's fine - my kids are grown up now but when they were little I didn't entertain them all the time. PJ days, playing lego and board games, walking to the park and feeding the ducks are all fine things to do in the holidays. Maybe a bit of baking or crafts if you're so inclined! Don't feel you have to schedule activities all the time. Kids learn to entertain themselves and I think it's quite good for them to be a bit bored sometimes! But then I grew up in the 70s and 80s when parenting was much more hands-off and kids made their own entertainment. We made camps in the garden and played in the woods and rode our bikes around and came home when it started getting dark 😂

Dont be a dick

Down time is important and a few days at home chilling is great. It’s important kids know that everyday is not a “doing things” day. They have to understand that life is not always moving from one fun thing to the next.

there is a lot of expectation for a bank holiday

It's normal to spend some time just being, and this is good for kids' development as it means they have to find ways to entertain themselves and also they're tired after school term. Some days our outing will be a look round the toy shop and a drink from a cafe, or a walk to the supermarket to get things for dinner. Other days it will be cinema or a museum - but these things aren't every day. Plenty fo fun things you can do at home too - indoor picnic, board games, cooking/baking, reading time, lego, crafty stuff, DIY slime, get some fun coloured bubble bath and cheap bath toys and let them splash around in the bath for a bit. Honestly you're doing fine, no need to be rushing out for big days out constantly.

There’s definitely pressure from tv ads etc OP. I always feel like I should be borrowing random chairs to fit my entire family plus half the neighbourhood round my table on Easter Sunday, producing a huge roast lamb lunch for them all & of course decorating the house like something out of Homes & Gardens or Country Living!

Sorry that’s not specifically about Bank Holidays but it’s the same kind of thing.

I hear you - the only way I don’t feel weird on bank holidays is if we are away. If we’re at home I really feel the lack of routine. I just have the one DD (7) and feel the guilt if we’re not out all day every day for the four days of Easter weekend. This year things are tight money wise. Instead I have organised a list of home or near home activities like board games, craft, walk in the woods and we tick them off, that’s the only survival mechanism I know!

I am AuADHD and am aware from counselling that routine is something my brain craves alongside fitting in ‘new things’. So holidays work well but we can barely afford one week away a year at the moment. It is what it is but you are not alone feeling this way. Perhaps you are right about potential ADHD but it is a bigger flag for ASD.

To correct a poster earlier who seems a little mean in their intention - the poster is not saying they don’t enjoy time with their kids / family, they are basically expressing how weird bank holidays make them feel and the guilt from not being able to switch that to a happy mood all the time. Not the same thing at all!

Oh come on! OP is tired out and knows she’ll miss the kids when they go back to school.

I always feel the same. I think it's a big case of fomo and mum guilt. Just feels like everything is always 'big' these days and it's exhausting. As a kid we just played with friends and garden etc.

As a side note, it doesn't help that your Easter hols are all wrong. Wales has just had its first week off and after tomorrow we've got the rest of week off which makes waaaay more sense!

I feel the same to some degree and here they still have over a week of Easter hols left. I would be over the moon to send them back Tues but nope they dont go back until the following one.