To say no to sharing table at coffee shop

[OrangeChips1]

I bought a coffee and cookie and sat down with by book to eat it at a table outside.

A few minutes later a couple came in, bought their drinks, stared at me as if I'd done something wrong and then asked if they could sit at my table with me (as it was the only one in the sun).
I was confused ....all the other tables were empty.

AIBU to say no? I didn't want to awkwardly sit there reading by book but pretending not to be able to hear their conversation. I could have moved one of the ones in the shade into the sun, but I was confused about why they didn't just do that themselves since I was already sat down and settled in.

They were not being unreasonable to ask. You could have said no, or suggested they move a table. If you didn’t, well, that’s kind of on you!

I actually think they were unreasonable to ask when there were other places available to sit, a different story when the place is busy and tables are full.

Yeah, they are weird. I like to hope that I would’ve said no too, nice one.

They shouldn’t have asked. They should’ve just moved a table.

people conversing sharing your table dominate the space- it’s one thing if there are no other tables available, but when you just have the one they prefer then it’s rude.

YANBU. They were unreasonable to ask. Very entitled of them to think they deserved the sun but you didn't. You got there first.

I did say no. But I was just checking whether that was reasonable!

I did think it was a bit weird for them to ask given all the other tables were empty but I can see the lure of the son!

Yeah that's odd behaviour if lots of other tables are free. Unless it was one of those six seater type things? But if not, then they were just being arsey because the table they wanted was taken.

Were you sitting at a table for 4 when there were smaller tables available? They might have been passive aggressively trying to make a point? Or maybe they were just cheeky and wanted to sit at your particular table and were chancing their arm instead of accepting you were there first.

We're they holding a briefcase?
I think they were spies and had a rdv planned for that table. They thought you were one of them.

I was at a table of 4 but there were other tables for 4 too, inside and outside.
I would have said yes if there was nowhere else to sit - but then there would have been more chance of their conversation merging in with all the other voices rather than me hearing every word.

I absolutely love this! 🤣

Just CFs then!

Setting boundaries is a fairly new thing for me due to various childhood blah blahs and I feel panicky doing so. The old me would have moved to another table for them. The new me set a boundary and then is having to breathe through the discomfort. Not sure which is better 🤣

Some people have the most amazing brass neck on them. They probably fancied sitting in the sun and thought they'd take a chance on you being timid and submissive. Glad you said no!

Thank you! Yeh this was most likely it...

Perfectly reasonable to say no. Why would you want to sit with strangers? Weird they would ask quite frankly. I'd have looked at them like they were nuts and said "no, I prefer to sit on my own, there are plenty of free tables".

That's more or less the gist of what I said 🤣

I disagree. I think they were very unreasonable to ask.

The more you assert yourself, the easier it will get. Good on you for saying no.

My SD is an absolute arse, very long story. The other week, someone asked if he'd move tables as his table was the one they always sat at. Instead of saying no, he told them to fuck off.

sat down with by book to eat it at a table outside.

What flavour book was it?
I think they were cheeky to ask too. Fair perhaps if there were no tables available and you had room where nobody else did, but not if it was just their preference.

I hear you on the asserting boundaries thing. It feels very uncomfortable at first. By my own account though, it DOES get easier!

They shouldn’t be asking. Simple as that. You got the best table first and there was no lack of other tables for them to sit on. It’s the kind of behaviour where I imagine their motive was to then just make you feel uncomfortable so they could have the table to themselves.

I bet they’re the kind of people who at a gym ask you to move because they’re holding a space for their late friend who ‘always works out there next to them’ 🙄

Well done standing up for yourself 👍

Ah, but she broke the unwritten law by being female in a public place and blatantly enjoying her own company.