To say no to sharing table at coffee shop

[OrangeChips1]

I bought a coffee and cookie and sat down with by book to eat it at a table outside.

A few minutes later a couple came in, bought their drinks, stared at me as if I'd done something wrong and then asked if they could sit at my table with me (as it was the only one in the sun).
I was confused ....all the other tables were empty.

AIBU to say no? I didn't want to awkwardly sit there reading by book but pretending not to be able to hear their conversation. I could have moved one of the ones in the shade into the sun, but I was confused about why they didn't just do that themselves since I was already sat down and settled in.

Thank you! One day I won't have to go on MN to check I was okay 😅

Haha love the frankness 🤣

Thank you! I'm looking forward to it getting easier.

I'm reading "Mahabharata" , an Indian Epic. Rather hefty!

Goodness, I'm lucky I live in an era and country where this is allowed actually 🤔

Sometimes people can catch you off guard. Well done for not giving in.

In this instance YANBU because there were plenty of other seats. The only time it’s ok to ask to share is when there’s nowhere else to sit.

YANBU. What happens is that it stops being your space because there are two of them, and becomes their space. Can you imagine circumstances under which you would have asked a couple sitting at a table if you could share it with them? No, you cannot, because you wouldn't dream of it.

From the title, I had assumed the coffee shop was full.

The fact that there were plenty of other tables makes it a completely bizarre request, so no, of course YANBU to say no.

@OrangeChips1 so where did they sit in the end? did they move a table into the sun??

It is unreasonable and bizarre to ask. Why on earth would someone who wants to read a book in peace want to sit beside two people they don’t know and listen to their conversations?

CFs! They were weird and entitled for even asking. They were obviously hoping you’d move and they could enjoy the best table in the sun. Glad you stood (or sat!) your ground. Hope it boosted your assertiveness and knocked their entitlement down a little (though I doubt it) x

Yep they moved a table a few inches so it was in the sun

Yeh exactly. Also why would anyone want to have someone at the table with them listening 🙈

Yes, must have been a hefty book to eat.

Thank you! I think it helped in a way. As I questioned "why do I need to go on MN for this" and then noticed it was because my heart was racing, did some breathing and felt fine..next time I'm assertive I'll hopefully recognise the feeling and that I can do something about it!

That's so weird lol! Why didn't they just do that in the first place rather than disturb a stranger 🤦‍♀️

Just got it!

No idea!

People are odd. Well done for standing your ground OP. I agree it would have been different if no other tables were free but they were being completely mad.

No way they'd have done this had you been a man! Glad you sat with the discomfort and let it ride over you.

It's first come, first served in this situation. You were there first so they shouldn't even have asked and were just chancing their arm.

Well done for saying no to a pair of cheeky fuckers, especially as there were other tables available. Even if there hadn't been other tables free, you were still there first.

I would never be comfortable sharing a table in public with complete strangers so I would say no to them anyway.

OMG - These people don't just exist in my world?

Was at the gym today. On one of 5 working rowing machines (2 broken). Rowing merrily and along come 3 blokes who ask if I'll move to another machine so they sit together. I said sorry, no.

I was sat in the middle one but that's cos the others were in use when I got there.

I was aiming for 5k row today and was nearly half way through so didn't want to restart on another machine.

They decided to stand there and wait. Lined up in front of me. Intimidating, so turned up the volume of my podcast, shut my eyes and continued for the next 3000metres. They got bored and buggered off.

There was a thread on here not so long ago and honestly the amount of people this happened to is crazy. Sometimes even getting the last space in a class as a newbie caused people to give dirty looks because it meant one of their clique had lost out lol. Honestly, it totally put me off going to the gym as partially I wanted to improve my mental as well as physical health but just don’t have assertiveness skills like you unfortunately so yeah not good!

I think they were rude to ask. You clearly wanted to read your book in peace and have a coffee and you got the sunny table first. Just like in a restaurant with empty tables you don't ask to join someone else's table because it's in a better spot. I doubt they would have asked if you weren't alone.

I'm not assertive. I sit glowering at people who sit on/at equipment with ther phones scrolling for ages when I want to use the leg press or whatever. But too chicken to say anything .

I only like the gym if it's empty. You are right - it's too stressful!