To be a little weirded out by a question from my guy’s dad?

[ThisHonestFinch]

So I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now and recently I met his dad. We were having a casual chat and then he asked me, “Why would a smart and pretty young lady like you choose someone like him?”

I’m not sure how to feel about it. I get that maybe he was trying to be playful or compliment me but it came across as kind of strange and a little insulting towards his son. AIBU to be bothered by this or should I just let it go?

My fiances dad made a joke about my “massive tits” the first time we met which was before my partner and I ever started speaking, just an event in our town, his face dropped when I walked though the door as his sons girlfriend but we all laugh about it now

Yeah this ^^

C. He’s kidding

Is his comment actually ringing true for you, OP? Is it making you doubt your judgement? Otherwise why would you care?

It's a standard dad thing to say. Heard it with ex's dads lots of times. Their version of humour but nothing weird at all. Typical crap dad joke.

Im hoping they've got a bawdy kind of sense of humour based relationship. I'm imaging Jays dad from Inbetweeners!!

I really don’t think that’s the flex you think it is.

Not at all - I’m confident in my choice. But I also think you can clock something as odd or inappropriate without it triggering self-doubt. His dad’s comment felt unnecessary, whether he meant it as a joke or not. That’s all.

What has your bf said about it?

It is so obviously this. I’m not sure why anyone would think it would be anything else.

Ugh, what a massive twat!

Next time, give him a withering look and then turn away and ignore him.

Most jokes and banter are totally ‘unnecessary’, though.

Parents have to be very careful about what jokes they make about their children. If he’s been saying these sorts of things all his son’s life, his son will have internalised the judgement. There’s often a lot of truth in jokes and, even if there’s not, children don’t have the objectivity to understand that. Jokes like this can fundamentally undermine a child’s self-esteem.

If he didn’t start the banter till his son was older and they both give as good as they get, it might be ok. But it sounds like the boyfriend was uncomfortable, which is a bad sign.

Most of us recognise that this kind of thing is nothing to do with us, and everything to do with the parent speaking though. My mother used to say to the neighbours, when I’d won a big postgrad scholarship that was reported in the local paper, ‘Oh, JudasTree is too lazy to leave university and get a job like everyone else!’ I mean, sure it would be nice to have a proud parent, but it was her own embarrassment and idea that staying in education past 16 wasn’t ’for the likes of us’,

It was probably a joke- he may have been nervous.I would see if he makes future "jokes" when you see him again.

Some people have really bad humour, my uncle would say something like this

Well he sounds joyful 🙄😂😂😂😂😂

Oh my god its just a joke! Pretty sure fil or DHs cousin said something similar to me!

Why are people so delicate/easily offended. It's just a bit of light ribbing.

It was a very strange thing to say. I get banter because I do it myself but only with people I know. Saying something like this to a person you don't know just show how socially clueless you are. I feel sorry for your boyfriend, he must have felt so uncomfortable. Reassure him that you understood it was a joke.

This.

Oh, my dad can be a massive twat as well because he always wants to be funny- especially when he's nervous. The first time he met my sister's boyfriend he looked at him angrily and almost shouted "Are you the prick who's fucking my daughter?!". The poor bloke almost peed his pants while my sister was roaring with laughter (yes, she's my dad's daughter, they share this sense of humour). Personally I cringed and felt sorry for the guy. Later on they both laughed about it do it was all fine. Luckily my dad knows me so he never did this to any of my boyfriends or I would have killed him.

As a pp said, it's all in the delivery and we weren't there to hear it. But my instant reaction is that it's a timeless and common joke to make, and I've heard it regularly. Pretty sure that my late husband's cousins made the same joke to me, and they were super close with my DH.

The first thing my ex’s mum said to me was “he’s a lovely lad, but he’s a bit of a pain in the arse”

She was right. He was lovely and harmless but the irritating things were just too much.

Maybe he was sussing you out. Does his son (or family) have a lot of money or potential to earn it in the future? Perhaps he was working out whether you’re a gold digger or have some ulterior motive for being with him and is looking out for his son’s interests.

This.