It’s not about the egg! But AIBU

[TheThreeMiracles]

been with dp for 15 years ( not that that is relevant ) but today his mum has come over and given our dd 2 Easter eggs and our son an egg then she handed dp an egg and said that’s for you and the three miracles to share, ( it was a normal egg ) she knows I’m intolerant to dairy as she’s brought me dairy free chocolate for my birthday several years running and we’ve had conversations about dairy free before as both me and dd are, I’m not bothered about having an egg but it just seems pretty unkind like it’s been done to leave me out deliberately to point out she doesn’t like me that much!
I’ve never been good enough as such but when I’m pregnant she tends to be really off ish with me!
AIBU to feel a little annoyed / upset ? It’s not about having an egg it’s the way it’s been done ! Fwiw we got his mum and her husband both really nice eggs ( they’re favourite ) I wouldn’t have left her out and done that to her

It really doesn’t matter what the item is (it happens to be an egg in this situation). Your MIL either didn’t give you a second thought until you were stood in front of her or decided it didn’t matter if you couldn’t join in. Neither is nice!

Why do you think she is being off since you announced your third? Seems a strange reaction to a grandchild unless she’s expecting to be asked to do lots of childcare or something.

Same 😂

That is a bit off then

You're currently pregnant I think? I am too and I'm really sensitive, I'd probably think she was making a statement too but I don't know how you can bring it up

Why would you think a grown adult wouldn't want chocolate? (in this case dairy free.'chocolate.)

I'd have to passive aggressively text her on Sunday and say "thanks for bringing the eggs round, DH enjoyed the X one and DD shared her dairy free one/s with me :D"

Subtext, your attempt to slight me didn't work, your granddaughter missed out due as a result of your spite.

Yes, your dad should know you only eat dark chocolate, why bother getting you something he should know you don't like?? It's more of a slap in the face than just not bothering to get anything.

It wouldn’t bother me, I simply wouldn’t get involved with any gift giving/egg choosing/gift facilitating for her.

Because the person who gave it to her forgot/disregarded something they supposedly know about her and her DH will eat all of it. Of course it's different having a preference vs having an intolerance but I don't think it's worth getting upset over and taking it personally. It's easy enough to buy a dairy free egg so it's easily overcome. Her MIL was probably just being a bit thoughtless, just like my dad wasn't really thinking when he bought ours. I was gluten-free for years so I know it's annoying living with an intolerance but I never really expected other people to remember unless I mentioned it and people were always getting me gifts I couldn't eat.

Are you absolutely sure she didn't just forget for the moment that you can't have a milk chocolate Easter egg? Otherwise it is just a bit odd to say you can share it. Better to own up that she didn't manage to pick up a dairy free one. I know you say that she knows you can't have dairy, but honestly it is easier than you might think to forget these things when you are picking up a bunch of eggs in a rush. Different when you are picking out an individual birthday gift.

I do think exchanging eggs between adults is a bit odd though. Cant remember the last time anyone bought me an Easter egg!

You need a few stock phrases….
“Wow that’s a corker”
“Did you mean to be so rude?”
“Shall I share Lucy’s?
“True to yourself as ever…”
”Next year we’ll be saving money !!!”
“Haha, the girl friends are going to love this”.

@irregularegulardefo didn’t forget, she’s not forgetten before, and she brought 2 for dd dairy free so she would have defo thought / known I couldn’t eat it ! I also think buying and receiving as an adults odd but I wouldn’t have left her out and been so obvious about it xx

Why did she get 2 for DD but only one for DS?

If the grown man gets a chocolate egg it’s only fair that the grown women gets it too. YANBU OP, but your DP should’ve said something.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing no she’s never looked after my kids she really bullied me after I had my first baby and made me really unwell, she visits and sees the kids regularly! She was really awful to me after I had my first baby and then when I had my second she didn’t like the name so stormed out she’s done a lot of things in the past and I’ve made so much effort but this stung today and I’ve realised where I stand with her

you are so right about the fact of not giving me a second thought that’s the part that hurts !

@ClairDeLaLunedd is a lot older then ds and dd got two smaller dairy free ones whereas ds got a bigger dairy one xx

It’s there in the OP..!

Same!

Blimey I think you have more to worry about than missing an egg.
She wouldn’t be seeing the children if she couldn’t treat me with respect.

How can you call someone out on not buying something for someone?
My mum regularly visits with gifts for me and the children mostly clothes and she loves Dh to bits but I don’t call her out and say why haven’t been shopping and bought Dh a new top aswell?
I’m her dd and she likes to spoil me, Dh has a mother too.

@Anxioustealady she was defo making a statement im 100 percent sure of it ! My mum was here and she looked at me like wtf 😬 I’m not bothered about the egg it’s how she did it ! I was quite embarrassed! There’s no way I can say anything without looking like a spoilt brat who didn’t get an egg 🫣😂 I really think dp should have said oh thanks but she can’t eat it instead I felt embarrassed! There’s no way I would have done that to her absolutely no way!

congratulations on your pregnancy too!! I’m 31 weeks so not long to go now xx

Well Then MIL can get used to not being bought anything by OP then.

I agree with @Fairyliz that you have bigger issues than the egg.

How does your DH react to all of this?

@huggiebears my dm buys a lot for me and my kids too but she wouldn’t have done that to my dp ! It’s just plain rude xx

As in not dairy free.

What grown woman doesn’t want chocolate?! I certainly do!

It was really rude of her to get one for everyone but you. No need to go out of your way to get her gifts or anything going forward.

Tbh adults getting Easter eggs is weird anyway imo. Leave it for the kids.