To feel slightly hurt that I’m never invited to his family things?

[WelshCakes45]

I’ve been dating a really lovely guy for the last 18 months now, never had any issues or anything like that, we get on really well.

We have met each other’s immediate family (parents, siblings, etc) and everyone gets on really well with each other and again, there’s been no issues.

Whenever my family have a get together for anything, he is always invited and comes along, welcome with open arms. However, it’s never reciprocated on his side.

For example, his family are having a meal together on Easter Sunday, I’m free on that day as my family aren’t doing it until the Monday and yet he is going on his own and there’s not even been a mention or invitation of me joining him even though his siblings partners will be going.

AIBU for feeling hurt and left out? It almost makes me want to be petty and stop bringing him along to my family gatherings 😣

Have you asked him why? After 18 months, you’re definitely a partner, not a new girlfriend.

That's odd. Odder though is that you haven't felt able to ask him why after 18 months together.

Is it his family not inviting you, or him not passing the invite on?

Yes that’s inconsiderate of him not to invite you. Have you asked him why he’s invited to your family events and you’re not invited to his?
And why are you posting here and not asking him? Are there bigger issues in the relationship?

I feel a bit awkward asking if I haven’t been invited, because his family - from the impression I get - are an open house policy sort of thing so it makes me think that he just doesn’t want me there for whatever reason?

I’ve met his family a few times, when we’ve popped in there for a coffee or to hang out, it’s just never included get together at occasions

I have met them and spent time with them, just never invited to birthday meals or occasions

Could it be that he just assumes that you know you’re invited and that he thinks you don’t want to go?

I don’t think it’s that no

Just ask him OP. Aren’t I invited? Do you know why not? Do you want me to come? If you’re an establishment couple you need to be able to talk about things that matter.

I have a child, he doesn’t have any and they don’t speak to any of his exes

How old is your child and would you bring them along to his family gathering?

In that case, you definitely need to ask him. Have you been to his home? He’s definitely not in a relationship, is he? (Speaking as someone who was horribly hoodwinked herself some years ago.)

I don’t have my child on Sunday as she is with her other parent that day, he knows this

He definitely isn’t, I’ve stayed at his house a few times now

This.
ask him directly, and don’t be shy to tell him that you would like to come.

If this relationship is to stand a chance of continuing you need to feel comfortable asking the question - May I join you on Sunday at your parents ?

I don't think he wants you there.

Look if this is bothering you then you need to stop silly dallying and ask him outright

Yeah, honestly I think that’s probably the case too of him being the one not wanting me there, that’s probably why I’ve avoided asking because it feels quite hurtful if that’s the case

Yeah, honestly I think that’s probably the case too of him being the one not wanting me there, that’s probably why I’ve avoided asking because it feels quite hurtful if that’s the case

But wouldn't it be better to know?

You've avoided asking because you think he doesn't want you there which is hurtful. That might not be the case at all-so ask and find out what is going on.

If he says he doesn't want you there, then you know he isn't a keeper and you can move on?