AIBU to think it’s too late for me to earn more money, due to my poor life choices.

[somewhereoverthechipshop]

Basically I’m late 40s, 2 kids one still in primary school. I’m not using it as an excuse but if it’s relevant I have adhd, and grew up very poor. I left school at 16 and have worked ever since in low paid jobs. I also took long breaks to have children. I have thrown away so many opportunities to have a better career as anxiety and low self esteem has always held me back and I’ve turned jobs down. I’bve been working in a low paid school job for years now. My dh was a fairly good earner in a creative industry that is now being slowly taken over by AI. I find myself in a position where I’d love to help out more with our finances and I’m much more confident nowadays, that has come with age. I feel like nobody will want me as I don’t have many qualifications. Please be understanding I know I’ve made bad choices in my life.

Any ideas where I could get a foot in the door somewhere and work my way up? I have admin experience but not recently at all..think years ago. I work as a TA now

It's never too late to learn new skills and gain new qualifications. Have you thought about doing some training courses? For example, FutureLearn have a very wide range of free online courses, many with completion certificates, that you can use to bolster your CV and evidence to potential employers that you are keen and able to learn new things.

What about adult education courses at your local Uni. They often don't need the same GCSE/A level route to get in. They might have an access course that gives you extra skills and then swap to a degree. If you want to. 💪

Agree, it’s never too late

i am a few years younger than you but also in my 40’s and could have told a very similar story 4 years ago

I was working in a minimum wage job with no qualifications except my GCSEs

i enrolled in the open university and did a degree full time from home over 3 years around work and family - applied an got accepted on a great graduate scheme - many were in their early 20s straight out of uni but I was certainly not the only older person doing a career change, I now earn significantly more than I did just a few years ago and have a career I really enjoy

think about it this way - you’ve potentially still got years and years left of your working life - you may as well do something you would enjoy and put the effort in, even if you need to retrain first

I empathise. I'm autistic with ADHD and despite being intelligent, low self esteem and anxiety has meant I haven't made great choices. It's great you are feeling more confident now you're older. I'm in the same position and am re-training in mid 40s, I wonder whether something like the Civil Service would work for you?

I'm 40, self-diagnosed very likely ADHD, menopausal, and following this with interest.

I don’t think you should pigeon hole yourself as those beliefs will keep you where you are. Have you thought about your ideal job? Would you like to study?

I didn’t think you could do a degree without a levels? And did you need certain gcse grades?

You potentially have another 20 years of working life before state pension age, so barely over half way through your working life. Far too soon to give up and "settle". Even if it took you five years to retrain, gain qualifications, work your way up in a new field, you'd still have 10-15 years afterwards. It's never too late!

My late mother spent her life educating herself & other people - first as a teacher, then moved into training teachers. She took her first degree via the Open University, studied for 2 MA degrees and was awarded her PhD (doctorate) degree at the age of 73.

It's never too late.

Good luck.

Entry level (and up) professional qualifications are often available as evening courses at FE colleges. So, for eg, AAT (accountancy), CIPD (HR), CIM (Marketing). Anything like that appeal?

You are a perfectly reasonable age to start a new career. Lots of people do it. You could easily have 20/30 years’ earning ahead of you. You just need to believe that so you can project confidence in what you’re doing.

Good call re AAT. About 20 years ago, I taught one of the AAT modules at our local college of FE. One of the class was a 50+ year old bloke working as a car cleaner at a local garage!

Will the school you’re a TA at support you to train as an early years teacher? My SIL has done this and it’s worked out well for her.

I started an OU degree and I don't have A Levels. Unfortunately I had to drop out, but I really enjoyed what I did manage to complete.

I think not being able to complete the course is one of my biggest regrets in life. If you have the opportunity and you want to do it go for it.

I would honestly concentrate on careers where you know you could either train on the job or ones where you can do a short course to get onto a better pay grade and opportunities.
The NHS is good for training opportunities. I did an NVQ through the NHS to become a social worker. There’s nurse ones too.
My friend who worked in admin has done an HR degree through the NHS. They offer apprenticeships too.
The one thing I would say is that you’re going to have to prioritise your career for a few years. Do late nights, study at weekends, be flexible. Your husband will need to step up, your kids might need to go into holiday, after school and breakfast club. They’ll be ok.
So prior to my son turning 4 I’d been on MW jobs. Now he’s nearly 10 and I’m on track to be on 45,000. It’s so worth it but I had to be brutal.

I'd be really interested to hear what you trained to do?

You can if you have alternative qualifications, or do a foundation year.

Open University (OU) also do short courses, some of which are free, that you can take to get yourself back into the swing of studying.

Although I have a BA taken at Uni when I was younger, I took another degree via the OU & have since done a series of the short courses that they offer.

No, you can do an access to higher education course or a foundation course prior to a degree.

thank you this is a really good idea and I was going to look into NHS professionals and see if I could start there and maybe get a low level admin job and as you say put my all into it..you’re right I am going to have to put work first after years of putting everyone else first.

Thank you this made me feel really positive

This is so inspirational

This is exactly me..I was seen as being very intelligent when young. Something always held me back and I only found out why in the last few years. Wish I could speak to the younger me, but at least I have greater understanding now. It’s not easy is it and I feel for you,

You most certainly can, my friend and my DH both did this later in life.

I work with older kids and it’s not impossible but money still not great for the amount of work involved. I feel the need to move away from my current workplace and do something completely different but will bear that in mind if things keep going the way they are.