AIBU to think it’s too late for me to earn more money, due to my poor life choices.

[somewhereoverthechipshop]

Basically I’m late 40s, 2 kids one still in primary school. I’m not using it as an excuse but if it’s relevant I have adhd, and grew up very poor. I left school at 16 and have worked ever since in low paid jobs. I also took long breaks to have children. I have thrown away so many opportunities to have a better career as anxiety and low self esteem has always held me back and I’ve turned jobs down. I’bve been working in a low paid school job for years now. My dh was a fairly good earner in a creative industry that is now being slowly taken over by AI. I find myself in a position where I’d love to help out more with our finances and I’m much more confident nowadays, that has come with age. I feel like nobody will want me as I don’t have many qualifications. Please be understanding I know I’ve made bad choices in my life.

Was coming here to suggest the civil service. Generally very good about reasonable adjustments, and values transferable skills.

You can at Open Uni or Birkbeck college.

You can with the open university, they don’t have entry requirements. Depending on your previous level of education and how you find academics it can sometimes be worth doing an access course although I just went straight in with the first level 1 and it guides you through how to complete academic writing etc

there are also lots of free course La through openlearn and the library to get to grips with essay structure and referencing

Well, hopefully not too outing but my degree was in history. I wasn’t sure when I started it what I wanted to do afterwards so just went with a topic that appealed to my interest

the grad scheme I joined on a HR specialism, I completed my HR level 7 as part of the scheme and am now in HR management, grad schemes are possibly not for everyone and it was intense but it gave me the opportunity to progress very quickly and get a lot of exposure

happy to answer any questions 🙂

I wouldn’t go to the NHS personally but admin within local government is good and often allows hybrid working. The pay isn’t bad, you get an excellent pension and good holidays. There are endless opportunities for in-house training in management and other courses. If you can complete a management level 3 course, you could become a team leader quite easily. Not a lot more responsibility but quite good pay for what it is (certainly average to above average pay for UK). There are lots of new departments cropping up which you could move into, when you get a foot in the door. The key is to apply for everything even if you don’t meet half the spec as they tend to prefer existing employees over new ones. Digital transformation, project management etc can be a good call.

The other thought on learning and working upwards to something that comes to mind for me, and I'm sure you have had the same or similar thoughts. How do you find the time and energy to do it.
I have health issues, I am tired all the time, and I take my hat off to people who say they do things in the evening.
In the evening I am just catching up on cleaning up, can barely keep my eyes open.

I think it will depend on what you want to do.

Oh believe me, in terms of money there are some whom have lived well as a part time T/A, and received benefits, didn't want to and probably didn't feel able to do more. But then they went and added another child in to the mix. So not going to do any more now.

My friend studied for a degree in education which was one afternoon/evening at uni. She was a TA and worked for 4.5 days while doing this. She then added another year on so her degree was a BA Hons. She then worked in the same school as an unqualified teacher for three years. She is now qualified and her salary has gone from 18k as a TA to 35k as a teacher. Her workload is ridiculous though.

What do you want to do?

TAs have so many awesome soft skills that cross over - negotiating, behaviour management, organising etc

Have you thought about the Civil Service? I was late 40's when I went there, started at a low grade to get through the door and increased my salary by nearly 75% within 18 months. We are not the best paid but the pension is good and there is a lot of flexibility.

Just wanted to add to the ‘it’s never too late’ narrative!
Not even GCSEs here, on the brink of being diagnosed with ADHD, rather a lot of past trauma. I turn 40 this year and almost five years ago I reached a breaking point in my crap low paid job.
I went for and got a very low level part time job with a big charity. I haven’t done any studying or anything outside of work, I have purely worked my arse off and been vocal and enthusiastic about any training opportunities that came up. After a year a similar job at a small charity came up and I went for that, got it and carried on as I was, making it very clear that I wanted to progress and would run with any opportunities that came my way. A few promotions later I’m now at management level with a key role. My biggest pay jump in one go was 10k.
So I’d say think outside the box. Be nice. Work hard. Ask questions, stick your hand up when no one else wants to do the tedious but needed extra training for things (did get a hi biz for being fire marshal though). You can absolutely get there.

Watching with interest.
I am also mid 40s. I have just GSCEs and a very old and obsolete GNVQ to my name. I have also only ever done min wage jobs.

I am on UC and classed as not fit to work as I have several MH issues and am also autistic. But the proposed changes to benefits scare me, and I wonder what I could realistically do.

It's absolutely never too late. I'm not in a necessarily low paying job, but felt I wanted more for myself and to stretch myself once the children were all settled in school. I also studied with the OU (can't recommend it enough) and am currently training to become a therapist. It was a very challenging few years, but I feel it was worth it. Best of luck to you - I'm sure you'll find your path :-)

It’s never too late. I’m a 45 yo TA and starting a degree in Education in October. I have put a lot of thought into whether I should, but I have another 20 years of work where I don’t want to still be a TA.

Can you get the qualifications in work time or do you have to do it in your own time? I'm guessing it's the latter? I couldn't commit to anything in my own time, tried it with the OU, didn't work out.

Though I think the local NHS is recruiting as little as possible atm, so I'm not sure there's much in the way of admin opportunities. I need flexible hours, ideally WFH. Obviously more money would be ideal.

Some great advice already so I only wanted to add - it’s great that you’ve got your confidence up now but stay alert for those old habits of doing yourself down. Even as you’re saying you’re more confident, you go straight to saying no one will want you, it’s too late, and doing yourself down for your poor choices. Fuck all that. Own that new confidence and really commit to this change. After having our kids and switching into this next phase, women can have a whole new lease of life freed from those limiting BS thoughts that have held ius back. It’s fantastic that you’re embracing this so let go of those old ideas that you’re not good enough and tell yourself this is your time. Why not you? Why not now? Don’t answer those with negatives. Just take it as read that they’re rhetorical and run with it. Good luck!

Your choices weren't bad, they were your choices. A lot of women are disadvantaged in their careers by the time they took off to have babies.
It's big too late either. My dad went to university at age 50 and changed his career.
I have a friend who is currently training to be a teacher at age 40, a goal she has had for years but put on hold to raise her family.
Id suggest that you get some career guidance advice and see what your options are

Thank you so much you’re right need to change my whole outlook

It’s hard..I hope some of the lovely posts on this thread will help you as well as me

With 25 or 30 years of working life left you’ve no excuse now to throw in the towel and just resign yourself to a life on the state. At least focus on fleshing out your NI contributions so you get a full state pension

Have you thought about childminding?
Its well paid, your own business and relatively easy to set up.
Ideal if you like children!

Are there any large companies in your local area? We have a very well known insurance/pensions company here. They always have entry level jobs available. Once you're in, if you apply yourself and work hard, it's relatively easy to move around within the company and work your way up. Companies like this usually offer very good benefits too and some working from home.

That’s such a shame but well done for getting some credits completed! I wonder could you go back and start to build up credits to complete ?

I’m 49 and also a TA, I am currently near the end of my first year with the OU. I’m studying History. I always wanted to do this and I’m really enjoying it. My plan is to either get a job with the local college as a Progress Mentor, Civil Service or pgce and teach after I finish. I think it’s best to have several options. Good luck with it all!

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHairit doesn’t sound like the nhs is for you. What you’ve described is the opposite of what I’ve experienced.

Was there any need for that? She’s asking for advice and exploring her options. It’s hard once your confidence has taken a knock.