Is it normal and if so when does it get easier???!?

[Becca3451]

AIBU to find a long day with my little one hard? He is 14 months and I only spend one long non working day with him. It's mainly the inability to nip to the loo without him crying. Even if I take him with me, he cries because I've taken him away from what he is doing. Is it normal?

My non working day is when my husband works in the office and I have no family around. My husband can be away from 8am-7pm so pretty long day. If he WFH his day is 9.15-5.30pm and on mat leave these days were soo much better.

We use a small amount of TV ( I use toddler club when I really need 10 minutes like getting us ready to go out). But I don't like using it often.

AIBU to find it hard? It's only one child and one day of the week. Is it normal for them to this clingy at this age, and if so when will it pass?

I wouldn’t worry about the TV - there are loads of great educational shows. I’d increase your TV time and enjoy a cup of tea.

I definitely have had days where I’ve felt like this, I think for me it depends on the weather/what we’re doing that day.

If I’m in the house all day or most of the day then it can feel like a really long day, but recently with the nicer weather I’ve been going out with my 1 year old for most of the day which feels much better!

It's normal. I think it gets easier over 2.

He sees you for one whole day, the rest of the time he’s without you. I’d say pretty normal for him to not want to let you out of his sight. It’s fine to nip to the loo and for him to cry for a couple of minutes, that’s just him vocalising how he feels in the only way he can, it’s not going to harm him. Just get back and be breezy and cheerful and continue playing & it will pass.
This won’t last long. Toddlers are hard work!

I would expect it to improve gradually as his understanding improves. When you can say 'I'm going to the toilet, then we'll do the puzzle' and he understands, he will hopefully cry less!

Yea it’s pretty normal. For me the days only really dragged if if didn’t go out and about. Our local children’s centre and toddler groups were a lifeline for me to speak to an adult and entertain DC. I’d try to do a class each day I was off and perhaps a walk in the pram as well to break the day up

Does he have a nap? Do you get out and about? It's a long day with a toddler if you are just in the house all day.

Days can feel long when you’re doing it day in and day out but I can’t imagine struggling when it’s only one day a week !

Don’t fret about the TV. Admittedly I used a lot of TV and have 2 high achievers, certainly their brain was not impacted by too much TV. I remember finding 1-2 really tough with DS, particularly remember one Easter weekend we were pulling our hair out. I laugh now as DS was the easiest child going, and once over the mischievous phase, never caused me a moments trouble.

I think going out for part of the day should help break it up. It will get easier as he grows.

Yes, normal.

get out and about, use theTV.

I work full time and I find doing a whole day with my toddler is tough. I guess I'm not used to it!

Like others have said it helps to get outside, do classes or go to play cafes, set up playdates. So both of you can actually enjoy the time together. Also as they get older and understand more it gets easier.

Yes, it gets easier. Depends on your child I think, but somewhere between 2 and 3.

Foster independent play. Use the TV. Do day trips, at least get out of the house for a few hours. Set up activities (lots of ideas on ig/Pinterest). Be selfish a little bit, eg "we'll play in a minute, mummy is drinking her tea". It will help them in the long run.

And you're not alone. I dread my day off with my two (18m and 3.5y) - and I used to be a nanny who loved her job!

Yup, really normal. I found some days by turns mind numbing and then very intense. It does improve over about 18 months I found, but mine is now nearly 3
and I have a newborn so it’s very challenging in a different way…

not every day has to be perfect. Nothing wrong with using the tv when needed.

Maybe your brains still in work mode and not Mama mode lol. Where you work the rest of the time you might be finding it hard to mentally get down to his level and have fun and play and enjoy the time together instead of clock watching. I never liked playing with my son as awful as it sounds. I'm just too old and boring haha.

Definitely get out the house lots. See people if possible and also maybe break the day into a routine that would help you out to get you through.

I was full time SAHM until DS went to reception. He didn't even go to nursery and we had lockdowns. Was tough and lonely. So if you're struggling with one day then it just sounds like your mindset needs a switch up. All of us mums are different with what we can mentally cope with. I struggled with one and I see others managing with 3 just fine and don't know how they do it! And you're working so go easy on yourself.

Plus, this is a hard age so it's not particularly enjoyable. Toddlers are cute but can be so clingy.

Also please don't feel bad about TV time. I know it's not ideal but if it keeps you sane or gives you some downtime and helps you thru the day then put on something educational so you don't feel bad lol

But yes, as others have said, try to plan around naps. At that stage my daughter was on one nap a day so I’d divide the day into halves and try and go out in one (if not both!) halves. Classes, stay and play, play cafes, the park, soft play, the odd big day out… and parenting in the summer is so much easier!

Does he nap? If so my advice is to make the most of those times and not spend it doing jobs. Use this as down time, watch a TV series, go to the toilet in peace, have a hot drink.
As he gets older and there is no nap time you will regret not making the most of the down time as actually I think it doesn't ever get easier, it just changes in what is difficult (e.g. now it's monitoring screen time with my children, getting them out the house, dealing with the I'm bored comments, managing school holidays in terms of doing things but not spending too much).

I’m a stay at home mum to my 15 month old. Yes some days if we can’t get out of the house then it can be a long day. Mostly I do a morning activity and an afternoon activity. Usually toddler group/soft play/role play village/swimming/messy play class/play date/shopping/library in the morning and then nap, park, garden time, and a long walk in the afternoon. We are only at home for a little bit in the morning where he plays in the play room mostly independently and an hour or two after dinner where my husband spends time with him.

I really love every day I spend with my son, no it’s not always easy and by Friday afternoon I’m glad my husband will be able to step in on the weekends but I wouldn’t change it for the world. He won’t be this young for much longer.

Yes, I found this age the toughest. It was much easier when my first started chatting properly, and my second at this age was easier as my first helped with playing with them.
I remember being sooo bored of jigsaws and playing cafes at times!
Remember that toddlers learn from everything, so what you think are chores - eg a trip to a supermarket etc are happy times for them as long as you are engaging with them and chatting a lot. You don’t need to have a super toddler focused day as long as you and they are together. Make little traditions eg supermarket followed by the a snack in the cafe.
i found it was better if i planned the day ruthlessly and that i also felt better if i got out of the house and saw other humans even if I didn’t speak to them (eg in town or at the park).

14 months was definitely a tricky stage with both of mine. It does get easier, OP.

I found getting out of the house as much as possible helped, even if I didn't particularly feel like it at the time. But honestly, TV is not the devil. It will do your little one no harm at all to pop Cbeebies on for half an hour or so you can do a few jobs or just sit and enjoy a cup of coffee in peace.

This. Getting out makes things inordinately easier. Preferably with other people (we were lucky as we found she had 2 nursery classmates with the same day off, so we met up a lot...before that we definitely did classes).

I found when DD started to be able to talk, it was much easier. She is 5 now, and is a pleasure.

Really normal but it gets better both gradually and in leaps and bursts. That age is hard, hard work. Spring is here, though, and I found it easier just getting out and about. Divide the day into chunks, especially easy when they’re napping: morning playgroup, lunch, nap, afternoon park, dinner, done!

Spring, summer, early autumn – you should be able to get outside every day now and by the time it’s cold and filthy again, he’ll be easier. I HATED my days with DS at 14 months but now at 2yr4m I love them – it’s all about them learning to talk and to tell you what they’d like to do, what’s going on, why they’re grouchy.

Agree that TV is fine, put on cbbc, Sarah amd Duck is great and super chill.
Get a play pen too. We had a great fold up one and also a larger plastic one, chuck some toys in, turn on the tv and then you can grab some time back. they was sooo useful to be able to do stuff around the house and keep little one safe.

They seem long if you stay in the house but not so much when you go out. It has the added advantage of tiring them out so you get a good nap time.

I recommend swimming in the morning if you don’t mind swimming (take a drink for him to have in the toddler chair in the family changing room whilst you get changed). Often got a long sleep after that so I could read a book or phone in the cafe during the after swim nap. Swimming is usually a cheap activity as council run. Sometimes they have a cheap play area attached too. If you can find a mum and baby class you could have some adult conversation in the cafe after.

Then save “out of house chores” for that day. Trip to buy something. It takes ages with a toddler in tow but it uses up time nicely. Life is slower but try to embrace that and enjoy the mindfulness.

Routine is good for them too. They like repetition and showing off they remember.

We are out most days, various classes or meeting up with others. Days in the house are very long! We usually do something out of house in morning, home for lunch and nap, then home or garden in afternoon, maybe trip to park or stuff like a trip to shops and picking DD1 up from school.

I personally found 12-15 months the hardest period of all, OP. It got better for us when the speech explosion came at around 1.5/2 and she was able to communicate better. Definitely would say the days were easier when we got out of the house for a walk/toddler group/library morning (she obviously just looked at the colours on the books but it was a change of pace!)

Now at 3.5 life is rosy!