To not be impressed ?

[arcticpandas]

One of my long time friends has lost a lot of weight with Mounjaro. I have told her I think it's great because she was quite overweight so is now much healthier (can walk without having to stop etc).
But.. she expects everyone (me included) to be impressed with her weight loss and tell her how strong she is. I mean she's taking an appetite supressant so she's not feeling hungry and therefore eats less. She hasn't changed her eating habits but just how much she eats (because she's not hungry).
So am I a mean bitch if I think that she hasn't done anything spectacular ? If I know a friend has been following a healthy diet and worked out to lose weight I will say "well done" because there is an effort involved. I have to force myself not to finish all chocolate in the cupboard so I know there is an effort in restraining yourself from overeating but with injections it's really effortless. Nothing against people on them, I think it's great they exist- but don't talk about the efforts you make while being on it because there is no effort when you're not hungry.

YABU and not a very nice friend TBH.

It’s probably been a very long journey for her to get to this point, and she is proud of herself and feeling good about it.

You sound quite bitter about it. Is someone that quits a heroin addiction with methadone not putting effort in? Or someone who quits smoking with nicotine replacement therapy?
Be happy for your friend and proud of her. Wouldn't do you any harm would it.

Your post in general seem quite unpleasant tbh. Maybe reflect on that. It is not hard to be kind, or should not be.

I'm sure she doesn't expect you to 'keep saying' she's strong and impressive. Probably more likely she thought that as a friend you might share in her happiness, and is a little hurt that you seem to have adopted such a dismissive stance. Surely if this is your friend, it wouldn't kill you to be a bit positive about it?

Should weight loss only count if it’s torturous and miserable?

To clarify ; I have been very supportive of her and I'm very happy that she's healthier. I have told her this several times. But when she keeps on wanting praise for losing weight all the time it's tiring. I understand this is a big change for her but it would be nice to have a conversation that didn't evolve around how much she's lost since last time.

Thanks. You sound lovely.

It’s till not effortless. Far from
it.

Ofcourse not. It's great that she has lost weight but I can't say well done a million times.

You still have to watch what you eat, if she's lost a lot of weight it sounds like she's making sensible choices on what to eat...if she carried on eating junk, she'd know about it.

Good for her, you sound jealous and unpleasant...worried she'll no longer be the fat one?

She hasn't seen me adopting a dismissive stance. My thoughts are well hidden.
And also, if she had made some change in diet (like trying to eat healthier) or excercise (she still hates to walk anywhere and will take the car) I think it would be easier for me to praise her..

To be fair, that is a different point to the one you originally made. It is boring to listen to someone go on about the same thing, but you did say her loss had less value because she used injections.

the injections make it easier but there is still a lot of work to do, managing what you eat, exercising more and the side effects can be really unpleasant.

maybe move the conversation on to something else if she’s talking about it again.

Fgs, it is effortless. What are we all talking about here? It’s been described as ‘magic’. There is really no effort involved, so the OP is right - glad it’s working blah blah, but you can’t genuinely praise her for any hard work. (I’ve been on it myself and I know people who took it as well).

She’s probably really anxious about maintaining it, and is seeking reassurance. It’s a huge deal, and she needs encouragement.

Frankly, we’re all a bit boring at times. If you like her, then put a bit of effort into it.

I am with you. You have been nice and said well done. You do not have to worship the ground she stands on for lacking the willpower to lose weight without the jabs.

I don't understand what you are actually asking as it seemed to change halfway through the thread.

AIBU for not wanting to repeatedly praise my friend - of course not, it's wearing when people need constant validation and rabbit on continually.

AIBU for not really thinking that my friend has made an effort and wants praise - yes YABU, it isn't magic, she has to contribute with lifestyle changes, which is hard and and doesn't happen overnight.

Does she usually harp on about things? Is this a thing with her? Does she always have to be the centre of attention?

She only has to make the lifestyle changes everyone else has to make every day of their lives anyway fgs!

It's a big transition, probably occupying her entire mindset, but she will probably come to realise it's not at the forefront of your mind!

(Hopefully she's not one of those who simply couldn't understand why they were overweight.... Until the injections came along and then they praised the magic 'off switch' and discussed how much money they saved on food! I save my judgement for them!! )

How am I bitter? I said it’s not something someone should expect a pat on the back for. Having done it myself I know there is no hard work involved. You inject it and stop being hungry and craving junk food. Even alcohol. How can one expect praise for not eating when they’re not hungry?

@curlywurlymum that's just your experience, I'm sure if you checked out the weight loss topic you'll see there's lots of people not finding it a breeze

But when she keeps on wanting praise for losing weight all the time

How do you know she is looking for praise?

YABU

I don't know why...but I take it you're struggling to lose weight on your diet yourself and feeling a bit envious of your friend for successfully sticking to her diet plan

If I lost that much weight I would not give a shit what not very nice friends thought about me. As her friend its possible to be pleased for her and hope she can find a way to keep it off.

There was no need to quote the whole OP.
Especially just to write that.