to put a positive spin on going to the male toilets if I must

[Definitelynamechanged123]

So there's probably an upside

There are rarely any queues for the gents.

I can't use the urinals seeing as I no longer have a penis so I'll be using the cubicles and there's normally no queue for those.

Blokes tend to stare in front of them.

Blokes don't tend to spend a long time at the sinks.

But good God, there can be a smell.

There are times when I don't feel safe in public toilets. It's nothing to do with other women who may or may not have the same equipment under their kilt as me. It's everything to do with women who have a similar hairstyle to my dearly departed abusive mother, and it's a trauma response. Or a woman who sounds like her.
We need gender-neutral spaces as well as single-sex spaces. Everyone deserves to feel safe, and to be able to use the toilets where they feel comfortable.

A 'male bodied' person has a penis. OP doesn't.

What if a man has lost his penis due to injury or cancer or similar? Is he no longer a male bodied person? Should he not use the male toilets?

Because he chose to have it lopped off.

Actually I think it was inverted inside me. I'm a bit unclear on the technicalities of the surgery.

That nervousness is why women need women-only spaces

There is no answer that works for everyone in this decision.
I do believe it was the correct choice legally, but the ramifications for the trans community will be huge. I truly hope we can now work towards making spaces for them, that don’t involve the loss of women’s right to safety and spaces that are theirs.
Thank you for trying to put a positive spin on this OP. I can appreciate this must be difficult for you for many reasons, but I am grateful to you for trying to retain your humour and for respecting the decision.

That doesn’t remotely sound like a toilet specific issue.

The OP is male, and is highly likely to be correctly identified as a male by the other males in the facility. That assumes they bother to look at him- I don't tend to stare at people in the loos myself. If the OP objects to the state of the toilets they should report that to the shop/bar/council/owner (delete as appropriate).

This sums up how I feel about ir! I wish everyone could put it so eloquently.

As long as there's a cubicle to use then you surely will.be ok? Maybe you could start campaigning to have male toilets changed so that they feel more comfortable for you? There are plenty of men who are supportive of teams wonen.

I used to work with two trans women who used male toilets for the 10 years I worked with them (at work and socially).

They did not encounter any issues with their fellow men.

They appreciated the lack of queues.

At work they (according to the other males in the workplace) raised the bar on the male facilities by pulling some men up on their overall lack of hygiene etc that made the male toilets better for all men using them.

From memory “aim spots” were put in the toilets and urinals and like the women they instigated their own toilet “kitty”.

Ours was for sanipro, nice handwash/lotion and deodorant and they used their kitty in a similar fashion (obvs minus the sanipro).

(Yes it would be nice if that was free, but the crappy drying hand soap was awful).

He'd just be a male, I'm not sure what the term 'male bodied' is all about. It would be a pretty offensive term to a man who had lost his genitalia through cancer, just as it would be for a woman who had a double mastectomy.

Don't worry - management (mostly male) are not going to prioritise a safe 3rd space in places like hospital wards and toilets, so instead will take the lazy option and increasingly make them unisex anyway. I don't know why transwomen being excluded from female toilets is being celebrated as a good thing. Long term, it helps nobody, without a legal right to an alternative.

My daughter and I were talking about this earlier after listening to a discussion on the radio. We go to lots of gigs and were saying that using the men’s loos at least avoids the queues for the ladies.
Good luck. Hope all goes well and that this is a bonus for you.

The alternative is to use the facilities in line with their sex?

Course it fucking matters. Choosing to cut your knob off isn’t a disability.

Many people will, whether you agree or not, think that this is cruel, and puts transpeople at risk. Many people will also agree with the sentiment and the law - that women only spaces should be protected. So what is the lazy solution? Avoid creating women only spaces.

@Annascaul no, it can happen any time any place anywhere because I have complex PTSD.
How it is relevant to the thread is that someone being trans isn't going to make me feel unsafe in a public space like a bathroom.
I completely get what @Definitelynamechanged123 means about yucky hygiene in men's toilets. She shouldn't feel pressured to revert to using them. Just like I shouldn't feel socially pressured to stand in a queue when the men's toilets are empty. So the answer which is inclusive of everyone is that you have some men's, some women's, some for anyone.

How it is relevant to the thread is that someone being trans isn't going to make me feel unsafe in a public space like a bathroom
That’s fine for you.
You don’t get to speak for all women, though, so I don’t see your post as relevant at all.

No.

A man who loses his penis in an accident doesn't become a woman.

Oh OP, you must have known this would be a pile on?

For a positive spin.. no need to share mirrors?

Fingers crossed for a safe and not piss smelling 3rd space to be made mainstream.

It's actually been not too bad a thread

Making them unisex would be just as much work as installing a third option as legally they would need to be separate enclosed cubicles with floor to ceiling walls and a separate hand basin.

If you don't understand why transwomen being excluded from using female toilets is a good thing, I suggest you do some research or merely think a bit longer.

This woman feels nothing but empathy for OP. it doesn’t hurt me in any way for her to use the women’s toilets.