To think this isn't what these groups are for.

[Themumoneiuse]

I'd like to preface this by stating that yes, I am luteal, so likely highly irritable.

Son's year WhatsApp group (for parents). My. GOD.
The drivel!!!
For context, my son is in school nursery, so has only been in this class 6 months. I do not know these parents from Adam, don't know their names, don't know their children. I work full time so very rarely get a chance to do the school run (fortunately/unfortunately), so have never spoken to these people.
These parents (60 members the group has, as it's the whole year one and not class!) think it's appropriate to share mundane stories about their kids and what they shoved up their nose, broke a glass, reset their iPhone (AGAIN?!). They even have taken to posting about political things and petitions for the local area - albeit things NOT linked to school.
I cannot take it. Yes, I know I could leave. But honestly I've found my daughter's one (year 3) very helpful. No one posts irrelevant shite in that, it is information pertinent to school, the class, and the children, and has been a nice way to have links to other parents, without all the unnecessary nonsense.
The self restraint it is taking to not to message 'NO ONE GIVES A SHIT', or on a good day 'can we keep this relevant to school please'. I know I'll look the twat. I have the chat muted but obviously don't want to miss messages that are actually important so have to read through this crock of shite daily.
It's like Motherland, but sadly it is reality.
Anyway, just had to rant!

That would drive me nuts

Mute and archive my sweet

I could have written this post. Some days there are 80/90 messages. It's bonkers, I assume the mothers have no other friends and very little going on in their lives. I obviously keep the group on mute, but even seeing the messages there annoys me.
Elder child's year group is just the normal "Don't forget it own clothes on Firday" etc

I feel your pain.

I have dumped WhatsApp except for my family group because all 3 of my hobby groups have one as well as various friendship groups. The volume of silly rubbish (memes, jokes, daft updates no-one cares about etc) was doing my poor head in so I just left them all.

My life is so much calmer! I get nagged all the time to re-join but I just won't. I don't care what I miss out on - I don't want all that stuff clogging up my life and trying to get my attention.

Just mute it. What does ‘I am luteal’ mean?

PMS.

I found they talk the same shite in person. Then again, we didn’t have WhatsApp back in the day. Avoid, avoid

Oh ok, thanks. What a weird way of saying it

It's a common phrase where I am, a more polite way of saying 'I'm a raging hormonal cunt bag'.

Where are you?

Just post “can we keep this school stuff only please” am sure you’ll get some thumbs ups.

I feel you on this. My DD's final year at primary school saw a parents' group chat created to discuss their (many, and completely OTT) primary leavers' events and sweet Jesus, that chat made me want to gauge out my own brain. Just endless drivel on top of some kind of bizarre unofficial contest to be the chief mum. Absolutely dire.

I think you can say ‘I have PMS’ to cover that. I’ve never heard or seen anyone on here say they are luteal before so was just asking. Learn something new every day!

“I’m sorry to be a pain but due to the amount of irrelevant conversation in the group I am finding it hard to keep up and I’m concerned I will miss something important. Could we try to keep it linked to school, or even set up a second group just for general chatter for those who want it?”

I've found my people! I'm glad there's more of us out there. It's definitely a popularity contest type mindset I feel, and as a PP stated - possibly lacking RL friends.

This is great, I'm going to save this for later. DH had to talk me down from sending a very blunt and sarcastic response last night.

I have a y5 DC in a 3-form entry school, and there has always been both class and the year group WhatsApp groups. There has never been this sort of drivel on them- they are purely for school-related stuff and are often quiet for weeks at a time.

I wonder if people who share irrelevant stuff constantly are lonely and are seeking conversation/contact with others because they think they have a big audience in large WhatsApp groups.

I suspect so, although just bizarre they don't see how cringe worthy it is!

“I’m sorry to be a pain but due to the amount of irrelevant conversation in the group I am finding it hard to keep up and I’m concerned I will miss something important. Could we try to keep it linked to school, or even set up a second group just for general chatter for those who want it?”

I would post exactly this but can you do it anonymously? By usiing Oh phone , get admin to add your sisters phone and post , then exit
that way no one knows it’s you and you can deny all knowledge of it ??

in each group there will always be dominant posters who set the tone , hence why my daughters group is en point with messages ( brief business like but a little humour thrown in ) whereas my sons group is insufferable but that’s due to insufferable cohort

Put a post on it seeing how many people know what luteal means.

I had to mute all 3 parents’ WhatsApp groups I was in. It was the ‘if anyone has accidentally brought little Jonny’s tie home could your child bring it back in tomorrow’ - followed by 60 ‘not here’ posts.

We’ve had parents send 10 page essays about their random personal situations, parents who whittle and fuss over the tiniest of things, find something to complain over and just generally pearl clutch at every opportunity. The amount of times I’ve wanted to reply ‘shut up no one gives a fuck’ but muted the chat instead 😊

Honestly I do think everyone is different and I can see both sides actually. I’m sure you’re not alone in how you feel. I think the suggestion of setting up a second group for people happy for more general chat and less on theme messages about local petitions etc is a reasonable one, though I’ve seen that suggested before and it never really seems to work out. Partly because following criticism for not keeping to topic, people don’t generally want to immediately set up another group thus outing themselves as someone who thinks differently. It’s a human behaviour thing I think. And the people who think the “chatters” are ridiculously in the wrong for chatting never want to create the “totally on-topic” type splinter group themselves even though they are the ones wanting to change the established group dynamic. So it doesn’t happen.

I actually hardly ever message on these things myself and partly it’s because I’ve been on a number of groups where any message that isn’t strictly 100 percent relevant to the main topic gets immediate very blunt sarcastic responses from people like yourself who just can’t be doing with it. And lots of others applauding or messaging in solidarity. Most often men. So it intimidates people from posting even things that are 95 percent relevant in case we get accused of being irrelevant gossipy stupid mother hens who have way too much time on our hands and don’t respect others time and don’t understand others have to work or whatever (I work too!). And it can sometimes shut down a group altogether as everyone is then too frightened to post. Like complete tumbleweed after that. I’ve actually seen that happen. Which was particularly gutting for me as I was new to the area following the aftermath of domestic abuse as a single parent with no local family or friends and I was keen to make some connections and at the very least be able to check if it definitely is non uniform day tomorrow etc.

I’m more on the side of “just scroll by if you don’t want to engage” and I’m personally happy to read people’s funny little stories about their kids who are my child’s schoolmates, and I think you start to get a bit of insight into who people are and what they’re interested in etc. which is helpful if you’re looking to make friends etc. However if I do get that we all have limited time and energy and if you really only want to see the “remember it’s wear yellow trousers on Friday for Children in Need” posts then fair enough on some level. But I think it’s worth being aware that not everyone feels the same way as you. Like I say I’ve been part of a few groups where really interesting or helpful discussion on topics relevant to me or my child or the beginnings of connecting with others as friends etc. have been shut down abruptly by this sort of attitude. I think sometimes people who are fortunate enough to have lots of local family and friends and know the local area well enough not to need to be told about local events etc. can forget that some people are genuinely very socially isolated or new to the area and there can be intrinsic value in this sort of low level social connection which is less important if you’re not in that position.

Anyway this was long lol. You see the camp I’m in 🤣 I am a chatter. I’m glad your DH talked you down last night but it’s ok to say something carefully worded today. If I was you I’d offer to set up a totally on topic only allowed splinter group myself and then leave the current group.

Oh this is so irritating. When I was class rep for my DC I deliberately didn't set up the WhatsApp group until about half way through reception to give people a chance to bed in and avoid some of this stuff.

I would add a slightly different variant of the excellent suggestion from a PP, along the lines of "Hi all, this is a big group with lots of people who don't know each other very well. I think it would be more manageable if we stick to class stuff only on here. Hopefully most others agree?"

The luteal phase is the longest part of the menstrual cycle. Now that there is more education and awareness about women’s bodies and hormones, more women are using terms like luteal rather than ones like PMS, which has traditionally had a sexist stigma attached to it.

Fuck WhatsApp groups for schools. If they have information they need to know, they’ll tell you in their own communications.

also WhatsApp groups expose your own telephone number so you leave yourself open to contact from any of the other mums.

If you are using it in the same context as PMS then it would have the same stigma attached. I don’t care that OP says that anyway, I was just asking as I’d never heard of it before.