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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this isn't what these groups are for.

60 replies

Themumoneiuse · 17/04/2025 14:30

I'd like to preface this by stating that yes, I am luteal, so likely highly irritable.

Son's year WhatsApp group (for parents). My. GOD.
The drivel!!!
For context, my son is in school nursery, so has only been in this class 6 months. I do not know these parents from Adam, don't know their names, don't know their children. I work full time so very rarely get a chance to do the school run (fortunately/unfortunately), so have never spoken to these people.
These parents (60 members the group has, as it's the whole year one and not class!) think it's appropriate to share mundane stories about their kids and what they shoved up their nose, broke a glass, reset their iPhone (AGAIN?!). They even have taken to posting about political things and petitions for the local area - albeit things NOT linked to school.
I cannot take it. Yes, I know I could leave. But honestly I've found my daughter's one (year 3) very helpful. No one posts irrelevant shite in that, it is information pertinent to school, the class, and the children, and has been a nice way to have links to other parents, without all the unnecessary nonsense.
The self restraint it is taking to not to message 'NO ONE GIVES A SHIT', or on a good day 'can we keep this relevant to school please'. I know I'll look the twat. I have the chat muted but obviously don't want to miss messages that are actually important so have to read through this crock of shite daily.
It's like Motherland, but sadly it is reality.
Anyway, just had to rant!

OP posts:
DUsername · 18/04/2025 11:57

I'm in a group chat for my choir and they have sort of sub bits in it including an announcements 'page'. Could you suggest this kind of set up and useful stuff being popped in there? That way you're not policing people's chat but you're making it easier to find the bits you actually want.

DUsername · 18/04/2025 12:00

Just had a quick look and it's called a WhatsApp community - you can set one up and add the group chat into it and then have all the sub bits like announcements. Might be worth a suggestion to whoever 'owns' the chat

Themumoneiuse · 18/04/2025 16:08

DUsername · 18/04/2025 12:00

Just had a quick look and it's called a WhatsApp community - you can set one up and add the group chat into it and then have all the sub bits like announcements. Might be worth a suggestion to whoever 'owns' the chat

Wow never heard of this, what a good idea. I'm going to look into it. Thank you!

OP posts:
Themumoneiuse · 18/04/2025 16:09

WillimNot · 18/04/2025 11:51

I was on one WhatsApp, one time, for about a month before I left and, when added to others, or Facebook groups, left each time.
The mind rotting shite posted by others was just not worth it.
I never missed a daytime event or school notification because they would send the newsletter by email and I had the function to attach all dates to my calendar on my phone. Problem solved.

The final straw was a dad who posted that his son was being bullied (awful and sadly a huge issue at the school) so he was voting UKIP at the local election because then the boys involved would be sent "home". FFS. Yes there was an issue with a gang of boys from a community but that was apparently his best answer to it. And "home" was our town as they'd all been born at the local hospital!

That was game over for me. Peace prevailed!

There's a lot of political pushing in the one I'm in. For me it's not even about whether I agree or not with the political views, it's more that it's inappropriate.

OP posts:
MightAsWellBeGretel · 18/04/2025 16:13

Themumoneiuse · 18/04/2025 11:44

To be fair, he's in it. So I might as well leave !

Do it, OP - save your sanity!

MissJoGrant · 18/04/2025 16:15

You could create a new group chat called something like [NAME OF ORIGINAL CHAT] BUSINESS ONLY.
Then encourage everyone from the original chat to join the new one too. Explain that, amongst the banter/stories/irrelevant crap, you're worried that important times and dates might get missed.

Then you can mute or leave the original chat. It's probably something some of the other parents would welcome.

RavenclawWitchy · 18/04/2025 16:32

I left my daughters class WhatsApp after a group of mums started posting their "mums night out" photos.🙄 And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Mydadsbirthday · 20/04/2025 08:12

RavenclawWitchy · 18/04/2025 16:32

I left my daughters class WhatsApp after a group of mums started posting their "mums night out" photos.🙄 And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Why didn't they invite you?

HamptonPlace · 22/04/2025 09:30

Endofyear · 17/04/2025 19:31

Just leave the group - there were no WhatsApp groups when my kids were at school and we managed fine! Surely the school will email directly about anything important?

does anyone read all the school communications? I certainly don't (maybe because we have 3?) so i am delighted when a.n.other parent does and shares on whatsapp!!

Pentimenti · 22/04/2025 09:33

Sirzy · 17/04/2025 16:15

“I’m sorry to be a pain but due to the amount of irrelevant conversation in the group I am finding it hard to keep up and I’m concerned I will miss something important. Could we try to keep it linked to school, or even set up a second group just for general chatter for those who want it?”

Yes, this. No point in festering in silence. It’s hardly a wildly controversial thing to say, surely?

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