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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if she can keep the whole inheritance?

62 replies

feelingrobbed · 16/04/2025 21:44

TLDR - my father has rejected his inheritance, will it now come to me and if so how do I make sure I get it?

I’ll start off by saying nothing about my family is normal.

Background- My parents split when I was two. From then until now (38) I’ve seen my dad less than 15 times. I have one DB who was a baby when they split.
My dad went on to have 3 more children.

We do text - quite regularly considering he lives an hour from me and I’ve never stepped foot in his home. He’s never attempted to improve our relationship but sends me regular messages wishing me well and sending me prayers. I don’t know why I reply but we’re always cordial with one another.

My paternal grandmother has always been accessible. But we were never close. I’ve been to her house many times but realised at her funeral I’d never tasted her food! Never slept in her home or spent more than a couple days hours with her. (Not really her fault to be fair)

I invited her and her daughter (my dad’s half sister) to my wedding. I was forbidden by my DM to invite my dad which was fair enough all though at the time I felt a great sense of shame he wouldn’t be there and couldn’t understand why she and my maternal family were so forceful about it.

I received a message on Facebook from my cousin (aunts daughter) saying grandma was sick. I visited and that was the end of comms.
Fast forward to last year grandma died. Despite as I say reasonably regular texts from my dad he never mentioned it. My aunt calls out of the blue and says she died weeks before.
I went to the funeral alone. A mandate had gone out that everyone should wear white but no one told me. I was hurt but I got on with it. My dad was not at the funeral nor were any of his other children.
After funeral aunt and I spoke a few times but nothing came of it.

She calls me yesterday (she did mention once last year I might get some cash when estate was resolved but I thought it was nonsense tbh. Other than telling my brother I forgot about it) she called me FIVE TIMES. Texts me saying urgent call me. I call her. She tells me dad has rejected his share of the money and so it will flow down to his children. We end up video calling - None of them have met my child- and she introduced herself and invited us to meet her in today.

I won’t lie, I was deliriously happy to hear about this money. I am a SAHM and need to get back on my feet due to marital issues however she doesn’t know about this.

I text her a few hours later and say nice talking to you please send me the location to meet you tomorrow. No reply then an hour later I see a missed call - I called her back within 5 mins. No answer or reply.

This morning my kid wakes up excited let’s go and meet this new aunt so despite my reluctance I text again. No fucking reply

I am first of all fuming I let her disappoint my child. I have purposefully not even mentioned them to my DD before this. She knows I have a dad but she thinks he lives far away. He doesn’t. She knows my grandmother died but I hadn’t mentioned this aunt. DD is reception age.

Putting aside my ego - what happens now? I’m presuming she won’t contact me again or will leave it another 5 years. She has major issues with my dad and she is absolutely right to - however she and I have never really had anything at all to do with one another. I’ve met her less than 5 times since I was two and that includes my wedding and grandmas funeral.

She said I needed to send the solicitor my ID and bank details. She has received her share already and said it would happen within 7 days. My dad refuses to discuss his mother it’s senseless contacting him about this. Even as a child on the rare occasions I spoke to him he told me not to visit her. As I say, they are strange people.

Help. Do I need to forget about this or is there a possibility this isnt all a joke and she can just keep it all her self?

OP posts:
MoreChocPls · 17/04/2025 16:25

I’d contact my dad and ask him to gift it to you. It’s the least he can do.

UnderandOverwhelmed · 17/04/2025 17:17

I think the rules are different for intestacy, certainly as per citizens advice it would go to the dad's children if he declined. Ultimately though solicitors will contact you if you are due something, even if your aunt doesn't provide your contact details, it's their duty.

Waterlilysunset · 17/04/2025 17:19

SheridansPortSalut · 16/04/2025 23:38

I suspect that she was wrong in thinking that the money would go to you. She has now realised that it's hers and is ghosting you.

This

Annascaul · 17/04/2025 17:25

Longleggedlinda · 17/04/2025 00:34

No this is wrong, if you father rejects it views him as if he were deceased, and then his children inherit

theres no way the aunt could hold onto the money, people think that by the time it’s time to give the money out the family must be over the death but the Aunt is probably reliving all the memories, illness death etc

Wrong.

GRex · 17/04/2025 18:39

Jackrussellsaremad · 17/04/2025 16:02

It won't come to the OP though.

Why do people say random shit with such confidence? Some of us have already explained that the situation depends on what has been written in the will, and if there is no will then it follows intestacy rules. None of us can know from the information given whether OP can inherit or not, because we don't know about the will (or lack of).

Ener · 17/04/2025 18:55

I’d message her again

Jackrussellsaremad · 17/04/2025 18:55

GRex · 17/04/2025 18:39

Why do people say random shit with such confidence? Some of us have already explained that the situation depends on what has been written in the will, and if there is no will then it follows intestacy rules. None of us can know from the information given whether OP can inherit or not, because we don't know about the will (or lack of).

I was replying to the statement by the PP that the dad had disclaimed his gift on the OPs behalf. The implication being that s33 applies to disclaimed gifts as well as a child predeceasing a testator and the gift automatically passing to a grandchild. This doesn't apply to disclaimed gifts. I think that's where the confusion on this thread lies.

And yes of course if the testator has included a reserve gift to the grandchild in the specific circumstances that her son disclaimed the gift then the gift would pass to the OP. But it wouldn't pass automatically. That was my point.

The intestacy rules would not apply to a disclaimed gift. The gift would just go back up in line and be redistributed between the living children of the testator (or non testator if there is no will! 😆)

I do try not to say random shit and have tried not to throughout this thread.

BobbyBiscuits · 17/04/2025 19:00

Unless he specifically said he wants it to go to you, then there's a heavy chance you'll get only a small proportion or potentially nothing.

They will take it that he was never included and then it will depend on who else was in the will or the other next of kin of the deceased.

I hope you find out what's going on but don't get your hopes up for necessarily receiving any money.

GRex · 17/04/2025 19:01

The intestacy rules would not apply to a disclaimed gift. The gift would just go back up in line and be redistributed between the living children of the testator (or non testator if there is no will! 😆)
I'm not sure where you are, but in England if there is no will then it absolutely does fall into intestacy rules. Intestacy can also be disclaimed. If there is no surviving spouse, then intestacy passes to children OR their descendants.

feelingrobbed · 25/04/2025 18:46

Just to update anyone who’s interested: I never heard back from my aunt. I called/ messaged several times and got nothing back. I’ve left it now.

I just wish she’d not gotten in touch. I’d never have even thought of it!

OP posts:
GRex · 25/04/2025 22:12

I hope you have good luck in a different way @feelingrobbed.

feelingrobbed · 25/04/2025 22:14

GRex · 25/04/2025 22:12

I hope you have good luck in a different way @feelingrobbed.

@GRexthank you Flowers

OP posts:
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