To wonder if she can keep the whole inheritance?

[feelingrobbed]

TLDR - my father has rejected his inheritance, will it now come to me and if so how do I make sure I get it?

I’ll start off by saying nothing about my family is normal.

Background- My parents split when I was two. From then until now (38) I’ve seen my dad less than 15 times. I have one DB who was a baby when they split.
My dad went on to have 3 more children.

We do text - quite regularly considering he lives an hour from me and I’ve never stepped foot in his home. He’s never attempted to improve our relationship but sends me regular messages wishing me well and sending me prayers. I don’t know why I reply but we’re always cordial with one another.

My paternal grandmother has always been accessible. But we were never close. I’ve been to her house many times but realised at her funeral I’d never tasted her food! Never slept in her home or spent more than a couple days hours with her. (Not really her fault to be fair)

I invited her and her daughter (my dad’s half sister) to my wedding. I was forbidden by my DM to invite my dad which was fair enough all though at the time I felt a great sense of shame he wouldn’t be there and couldn’t understand why she and my maternal family were so forceful about it.

I received a message on Facebook from my cousin (aunts daughter) saying grandma was sick. I visited and that was the end of comms.
Fast forward to last year grandma died. Despite as I say reasonably regular texts from my dad he never mentioned it. My aunt calls out of the blue and says she died weeks before.
I went to the funeral alone. A mandate had gone out that everyone should wear white but no one told me. I was hurt but I got on with it. My dad was not at the funeral nor were any of his other children.
After funeral aunt and I spoke a few times but nothing came of it.

She calls me yesterday (she did mention once last year I might get some cash when estate was resolved but I thought it was nonsense tbh. Other than telling my brother I forgot about it) she called me FIVE TIMES. Texts me saying urgent call me. I call her. She tells me dad has rejected his share of the money and so it will flow down to his children. We end up video calling - None of them have met my child- and she introduced herself and invited us to meet her in today.

I won’t lie, I was deliriously happy to hear about this money. I am a SAHM and need to get back on my feet due to marital issues however she doesn’t know about this.

I text her a few hours later and say nice talking to you please send me the location to meet you tomorrow. No reply then an hour later I see a missed call - I called her back within 5 mins. No answer or reply.

This morning my kid wakes up excited let’s go and meet this new aunt so despite my reluctance I text again. No fucking reply

I am first of all fuming I let her disappoint my child. I have purposefully not even mentioned them to my DD before this. She knows I have a dad but she thinks he lives far away. He doesn’t. She knows my grandmother died but I hadn’t mentioned this aunt. DD is reception age.

Putting aside my ego - what happens now? I’m presuming she won’t contact me again or will leave it another 5 years. She has major issues with my dad and she is absolutely right to - however she and I have never really had anything at all to do with one another. I’ve met her less than 5 times since I was two and that includes my wedding and grandmas funeral.

She said I needed to send the solicitor my ID and bank details. She has received her share already and said it would happen within 7 days. My dad refuses to discuss his mother it’s senseless contacting him about this. Even as a child on the rare occasions I spoke to him he told me not to visit her. As I say, they are strange people.

Help. Do I need to forget about this or is there a possibility this isnt all a joke and she can just keep it all her self?

Can you confirm if you are in England? Just to ensure nobody gives incorrect intestacy advice.

If your dad fornally rejected the inheritance rather than doing a deed of variation, then it really depends exactly what the will says as to who inherits next. If there is no will then under English intestacy rules his share should go to you and your siblings. Did your aunt give you the solicitor details? They should be able to explain to you if you are or are not a beneficiary.

Although this completely contradicts another AI summary:

If a beneficiary rejects their inheritance (also called disclaiming it), the rejected inheritance typically returns to the deceased's estate and is then redistributed among the remaining beneficiaries. If there are no other beneficiaries, it will be distributed according to the intestacy rules (if there's no will) or as specified in the will.

Elaboration:

• Disclaiming an inheritance:
• This means a beneficiary formally refuses to accept the gift they're being left in a will or under intestacy rules.
• Returning to the estate:
• Once disclaimed, the inheritance reverts back to the estate and is no longer part of the disclaiming beneficiary's property.
• Redistribution:
• The estate then distributes the disclaimed inheritance according to the will or, if there's no will, according to the rules of intestacy.
• No control over redistribution:
• The disclaiming beneficiary has no say in who ultimately receives the disclaimed inheritance.
• Deed of Variation:
• Another option is to use a Deed of Variation to redirect the inheritance to another beneficiary, but this requires all affected beneficiaries to sign and must be done within two years of the deceased's death.

When my grandfather died his three children were beneficiaries but one rejected their ‘share’ so it went back into the estate and was split between the other two beneficiaries. Our understanding at the time (the executor was a solicitor) was that this is the default position in the absence of specific clauses in the will to address that situation or a dead of variation being put in place by the beneficiary rejecting their inheritance. This is UK.

Why should OP have received nothing from these people and NOT collect the money if it's available? Just because she has nobody to mourn, she is still just as deserving as any other beneficiary. More so in fact, for never having the benefit of a loving paternal family. There is no indication that any of them have tried nor will try to do anything harmful to OP, it is simply that they are uncaring.

Link to HMRC manual

https://www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/inheritance-tax-manual/ihtm35161

which says what the majority of those on here are saying. Disclaiming does not mean it flows to his children.

I think it very much depends if there was a will or not. Can you get some advice from the citizens advice? I would also phone your aunt from another number.

I don’t believe that’s true in the UK though it is in some other places.

The confusion here seems to be the difference between if a child of a testator predeceases, then S33 Wills Act means that the inheritance automatically passes to that beneficiary's children.

If a child of a testator disclaims an inheritance, it goes back into the main pot rather than passing to that beneficiary's children.

As PP have said, the current beneficiaries could agree to vary the will to include grandchildren such as the OP but it sounds like they don't intend to.

Thank you. I suppose my only option is to hope my dad will see reason and do this

AI is unreliable. Even the ‘big players’ get 60% of questions wrong.

I think you are going to have to talk to your dad about this. I can't see any other way of getting the inheritance I'm afraid unless you can contact your aunt and/ir find the solicitor. But it sounds like none of that will happen unless you talk to your dad.

I really feel for you because I think that either the aunt is playing a cruel game, or that she has realised her error and ghosting you. As others have said, him rejecting the inheritance -if he has????- would not then mean you get it, unless the will stipulates that.

I would let it go. You have barely any relationship with these people and don’t seem to even like them yet you’re chasing after some money. If you are entitled to something and there’s a solicitor involved, then they will get in touch with you eventually.

Look at it this way: you didn’t have this inheritance this time last week and you don’t have it now so you’re no worse off.

None of us can really help you… it all depends on what was in the will. But I honestly think you would be best off forgetting about the money. It’s a real blow I know, but you can’t lose what you never had.

Message your dad and ask him to accept the money and pass it to you, as it would change your life. If he is any sort of a man if he will do it. (Although if he has other children he should split it evenly between the kids.)

I will ask him to do this. However it’s unlikely as he has strange beliefs. He probably needs the money as much as I do but he has rejected it.

She was my grandmother. I don’t have a relationship with them because they chose not to bother with us.

if I was financially stable would I give a fuck? No, I wouldn’t. As it stands I will at least try.

You Know that you have been left nothing as you have not been contacted by the solicitor.

The only thing you can do is to speak to your father. It’s up to him whether he / you will inherit anything or not.

It’d be up to your dad to allocate the money to you basically, but to be honest I agree with previous poster- you had absolutely no relationship with these people, it’s a bit grabby to want some cash now and play on the “she was my grandmother”.

.

I agree. She will likely be regretting saying anything to you and is hoping with every breath in her body that you forget about it. Please go and speak to your dad and a solicitor.

If your dad disclaims, the Deed of Variation will need to be agreed by all the other beneficiaries substituting you for your dad. Your dad won't have a say if they do it this way. I suspect they won't want to.as they will get less.

Alternatively your dad could receive his inheritance as the Will states (you assume..have you seen the will? Good to check the terms) and simply pass it on to you. Unless there are tax issues he could just gift it. (If there are tax issues in doing that, eg CGT, ideally your dad as a beneficiary that hasn't disclaimed could then vary the will in your favour.within two years).

What I suggested in my post is that the OP is being forced to scrabble around for inheritance money, going through a world of frustration and pain and even then no guarantees they will get a penny piece. They have an alternative choice rather than getting sucked into the vortex.

it isn't about mourning, it is about keeping one's sanity and one's self-respect.

if that father was in any way a decent human being, don't you think they would say "I don't want the inheritance, so I'll make sure my daughter who I brought into this world gets the money because I know she is in need", not leave her to have to hold out her hand or poke someone in the chest to get the inheritance.

this whole scenario is vile, and all I'm saying is the OP would do well to spin on her heels, walk away, and let the others get consumed by the drama, they all sound dreadful and none of them care about the OPs wellbeing.

There is no indication that any of them have tried nor will try to do anything harmful to OP, it is simply that they are uncaring.

the game-playing aunt (deliberately making herself unavailable numerous times) couldn't care less about the OP, she's got her money, and is happy to cause the OP all sorts of hassle like some sick game.

Would your dad give you solicitors details? Is it possible he declined his share knowing it would come to you, I.e. did it deliberately to benefit you?

It won't come to the OP though.