11 month old- Austism? AIBU?

[MummaHud]

My little boy is 11 months old. I’ve recently had an appointment with the health visitor for his 12 month check and they’ve made me feel super deflated about his ‘communication’ skills.

The questions they asked:
• can he say sounds like - da, ma, ba ✅
• can he do two sounds together - dada, mama, baba ✅
• can he follow instructions like, come here, put it back, give it to me. 🚫
• if you say the sounds he can make, does he copy? 🚫
• does he say words to things like - mama ( mummy ) 🚫
• if you said clap clap, pat a cake, peekaboo, without showing, will he initiate the game 🚫

she made me feel incredibly rubbish, and closed the questionnaire and didn’t even continue with the rest of it.. ‘we will review again in 3 months’

my little boy is very physical, he crawled early, climbed early, exploring standing freely now.. always wants to be on the go. Very good with his fine motor skills too- she didn’t care about this? All his ‘thrives’.

am I being unreasonable to myself and him that autism is really worrying me?

he doesn’t:
• lift arms up to be picked up

• wave

• point

• he has no words

• he doesn’t like his hands or arms being made to do something, he resits - but he doesn’t mind his hands being touched ( if anything he doesn’t stop poking our faces, eyes and mouths & always climbing up us )

• he doesn’t copy any words or sounds, or actions consistently.

he does;
• lots of social smiles

• if we laugh he laughs, even if we laugh fake, he will laugh fake.

• he follows you around the room

• he notices when you leave a room and cries

• he climbs up to you ( and will touch your face )

• he makes eye contact and focuses on your mouth when talking at times too.

• he babbles

• he loves his big sister

• he was very aware of a baby the same age at him this weekend, the first time I noticed him have an interest

• he has since ( the appointment and list above ) started to clap in response to songs ( happy and you know it ) or if we clap.. it’s not all the time, but he does.

• he has since ( the appointment again ) responded to ‘come here’ - sometimes he will giggle and zoom of in the other direction but others he will zoom towards you smiling and laughing.

• he responds to his name, I’d say 50/50 depending on what he’s doing, if he’s surrounded by toys and invested into something you won’t get his attention. If he’s just pottering you will.

———-
he had a tough start to life with reflux and holding his breathe, he got bottle aversion and needed to feed smaller more regularly until 6 months old and he lost weight, has been under dieticians, I will admit - his first 6 months was constant battle of feeding & regularly it’s all that consumed us.

he recently had a hearing test with paediatric audiology ( 2 weeks ago ) due to a ear infection in January and they’ve concluded he has Glue Ear.

can some babies just develop later? I’m worried I’m holding him back from services he may need.

The questionnaire is actually until 12m 30 days. A huge huge huge amount can change between now and then.

YABU

Even before you said glue ear I suspected a hearing issue. The problem is with his hearing. What is the plan with audiology? Are they suggesting watch and wait or referal to ENT?

They are going to review in 3 months.
Because there are some indication but not fully clear.

See if there is a drop speech group to get some ideas how to encourage communication

Glue ear can impact hearing. Use makaton signs watch something special show him signs for eat more etc

It sounds pretty ok for now. Obviously, follow up with the health visitor and re the glue ear, but kids all develop at their own pace and it sounds like he's been prioritising physical movement.

If you're worried, you could try checking out some resources for encouraging early speech. The BBC has a new thing with lots of fun tips and games you could build into your play with him https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people

Ignore ignore ignore, he sounds delightful and completely typical. I’m convinced half the time they just enjoy making you feel bad. As a second time mum who worried constantly about my first because of things like this who now has a thriving, bright and popular four year old, enjoy your baby xx

As a mum you’re always going to worry, I feel I fear the Glue Ear is just masking something else and he’s going to get shunted. We have to wait until June. When they’ll follow up his hearing. if not cleared up there I imagine maybe another 3 months or referral to ENT.

My daughter couldn't do those things at 11 months, but was fine with the rest of the survey. They phoned me to check in a few months later and she was doing all of these things too. She was a slightly early 36 week baby, so dome things do come a bit later.

Based solely on my own experience here, I don't think you need to worry yet.

We had no issues at our one year check, but by 15 or so months we were aware there was some sort of delay, we strongly suspected hearing but it seemed transient more than anything. Saw HV team at 18 months and they immediately referred for audiology check (which they do within about 5 or 6 weeks in my area), speech/language team and child development centre. He is now two and there's been some development, we have babbling and we've ruled out a severe or moderate hearing issue, but still no words, no gestures, very funny with textures, finds some things like walking outside very upsetting (fine inside and a very physical child otherwise). I strongly suspect autism, but not much I can do other than support him as best we can, and hope the experts have some suggestions. Lots of people say those with older siblings are later talkers/communicators as their sibling can be a bit overbearing or talk for them, and lots seem to say "oh, my son didn't talk until he was three and then came out with full sentences". I'm not hopeful, but I suppose it could happen. Either way he is so loved and a very happy boy. I'd describe it as he doesn't realise he's meant to talk, rather than he tries, but he can't manage it. I'd also say 12 months is still early, I'd give it a few more months before worrying too much as a few weeks at the age can mean a huge difference.

Think of it this way. Early identification if there any issues is a good thing and monitoring. Glue ear can cause speech and language issues.
One of my dc had issues for 3 years on and off and went into intensive speech therapy from age 3 as was prqcriqlly none verbal. They made huge progress and you wouldn't know they had a speech issue by the time they reached 6.

The glue ear will be causing issues my youngest had repeated bouts of glue ear but because he was clearing it they didn't do grommets they just left him too it he ended up under slt before age 2 and learning sign language to help with communication issues

Also! My other son developed very fast with physical skills and slow with verbal my health visitor said some children can only do one thing at a time they catch up and he did

Anything around speech and communication will be hampered by the glue ear. My ds had glue ear and now has a host of speech issues still at nearly 6 despite having grommets for 2 years.

I wouldn't be unduly concerned at the moment. He sounds like a happy child within a loving environment. Milestones are not a fixed point and babies do develop differently. For example our Ds didn't stand and walk until he was 18 months and he's a perfectly normal 25 year-old without any movement difficulties.

With glue ear it's going to affect what you baby hears and could explain why he's not mimicking sounds yet. I knew a close friend who's child had glue ear from birth till over 2 years and when the glue ear resolved, her speech rapidly improved and she went on to be indistinguishable from a child who hadn't had that start in life.

It sounds like you have had an incredibly challenging time with your son's health so it's natural to be worried. As parents we are always critical of ourselves but you don't need to be. He's still very young and other than treating his glue ear, if that's possible at this point, there's probably nothing else other than the normal engagement and encouragement needed at the moment. Hence why the health visitor has said she will see him in three months and evaluate then.

That said, often parents are the ones who know their child best and I would always encourage you to seek help if you feel there's something wrong.

At the moment I would just enjoy your time with your child and be a normal happy family because even if there is something picked up later, he needs the nurturing caring environment and you don't need to be highly stressed out about something that might not even be there. Your health visitor really shouldn't have left you feeling like he or you "failed" the assessment, that's a horrible thing to feel. Give yourself a break, you are doing well.

You can look up the ASQ forms yourself online. I find it helpful to use them to put things in perspective. You do need to look at the ‘mark schemes’ too, as they’re not expecting everything to be ticked at the age of the questionnaire.

It’s also helpful to look at ones ahead and behind. You get an idea of what they expect for progression.

Realistically, most children develop in lurches, not straight lines. Mine put all her effort into learning to climb everything in sight and at 18 months was scraping the concern level for communication. At 3, she’s a non stop chatterbox (and still a daredevil).

I suspect this is your first child. This was a tick box exersize. From all you say he is meeting his milestones. He interacts with you, he makes eye contact, he babbles and responds, hes active. Please don't worry. It might be worth following up on his hearing as glue ear may slow up his communication and language development. Please don't worry about autism. There are many pointers to an autism diagnosis, theres over heightened awareness. Give your baby lots of opportunities to socialise, get out and socialise with other Mums. This woman you saw sounds a real put down. You do not have to engage with her. As long as you take your baby to see the doctor, explain your concerns to the GP and engage with the necessary vaccinations and health checks you can relax and enjoy your baby. I'm an early years specialist.

Haven’t you posted a number of times now? You need to speak to a professional about your anxiety.

Also a mum to two. My son sounded a lot like yours as this age. A lot of the concerns were brushed off as he is a boy (which for some reason means they are slower developmentally) and a second child, so there is a sibling to talk for them, and less attention devoted to development as you are not a superhuman.

I'm not going to tell you to stop watching your child, because that is not overly helpful in my experience. Instead, I'd say to keep an eye on it. It is good he is progressing, it is great that he is very active and is obviously focusing on fine motor skills over speech. My son didn't start speaking until age 2. It turns out he is hyperlexic, and can read already at 2.5, but instead of learning word by word, he learns phrases so it took a long time for the speech to come (though he was processing internally). All children are different, it is so hard and frustrating as a parent to do the evaluations and not get worrried. Focus on what he can do, try to use some ms rachel style learning at home to help. Maybe the glue ear identification is all he needs to get speaking.

My daughter could do everything on the 12 month check. She was doing everything on the 2 1/2 year check. Shes always been an over achiever. She's 6 and reads books my 10 year old nibbling is reading. School now think she has Asperger's syndrome.

i think you need to take a deep breath. It's hard as a parent not to worry about every milestone but you have to let your DC run his own race. If he has something and needs support you can cross that bridge when you get to it. In the meantime deal with the hearing. Once that's fixed narrate everything. Mummy is going to the fridge. Do you want a red apple or a green pear. You are banging the red and blue car together ect. It feels silly hut you'll be amazed how quickly his speech will develop once he can actually hear.

Why are you so keen to get a diagnosis for your child??

I hear your concerns OP and they are valid. Your concerns mirror my daughter experience, glue ear which hide a progressing deficit which is part of her autism. The hearing issue does need to be monitored and resolved if needed.

It’s difficult not to worry in this situation and hyper focus on concerns, try looking a CBT techniques.

For more detailed mile stones look at birth to five by Mary Sherdian. If you think it would be helpful then DM me.

I’m just a parent but nothing you have posted screams autism to me.

If her child has autism then knowing means they can better meet his needs, he can do this himself as he gets older, better understand himself and reduce the very high risk of mental health issued faced by people with undiagnosed autism.

It’s seems like he follows facial expressions and body language more than verbal which is no doubt due to the glue ear. I’d look at baby sign language to help him develop communication skills, it’s useful even for hearing children to be able to express themselves.

We had our 9-12 month check up at 9 months and my baby was doing none of your list except mama, he could army crawl and roll. He was signed off as fine though, I was really stressed at 12 months as he hadn’t really progressed, he could properly crawl but that was it. We also had a lot of issues feeding for the first 6 months or so and he has lots of allergies.
He started nursery when DH went back to work and between 9-14 months he was so ill with chest and ear infections. Since he shifted them about 2 months ago (he is now 16 months) he is waving, shaking his head, clapping, pointing, walking (trying to run), sleeps through the night 👍. He still grunts a lot and mostly babbles, but says mama, dada, Bubub (bubbles), hi, bye bye, dog, yes and ok. He seems to understand a lot more because if you ask if he wants a drink he will get his cup.
It is almost like he had 5 months of development in 8 weeks after working on shifting the illnesses.

I wouldn’t worry, my baby is probably still a little bit behind on talking, but he’s way ahead on other things - he can use a fork and spoon. Sounds like yours is similar, does your baby go to nursery? I think some of it is copying the older babies at nursery too.

With both my kids they were the same as yours and had a huge social/communication leap around 12-13 months where they started saying words, using gestures, understanding words I said to them etc

Give it 2 months and come back to the thread, I bet he’ll be doing all these things