11 month old- Austism? AIBU?

[MummaHud]

My little boy is 11 months old. I’ve recently had an appointment with the health visitor for his 12 month check and they’ve made me feel super deflated about his ‘communication’ skills.

The questions they asked:
• can he say sounds like - da, ma, ba ✅
• can he do two sounds together - dada, mama, baba ✅
• can he follow instructions like, come here, put it back, give it to me. 🚫
• if you say the sounds he can make, does he copy? 🚫
• does he say words to things like - mama ( mummy ) 🚫
• if you said clap clap, pat a cake, peekaboo, without showing, will he initiate the game 🚫

she made me feel incredibly rubbish, and closed the questionnaire and didn’t even continue with the rest of it.. ‘we will review again in 3 months’

my little boy is very physical, he crawled early, climbed early, exploring standing freely now.. always wants to be on the go. Very good with his fine motor skills too- she didn’t care about this? All his ‘thrives’.

am I being unreasonable to myself and him that autism is really worrying me?

he doesn’t:
• lift arms up to be picked up

• wave

• point

• he has no words

• he doesn’t like his hands or arms being made to do something, he resits - but he doesn’t mind his hands being touched ( if anything he doesn’t stop poking our faces, eyes and mouths & always climbing up us )

• he doesn’t copy any words or sounds, or actions consistently.

he does;
• lots of social smiles

• if we laugh he laughs, even if we laugh fake, he will laugh fake.

• he follows you around the room

• he notices when you leave a room and cries

• he climbs up to you ( and will touch your face )

• he makes eye contact and focuses on your mouth when talking at times too.

• he babbles

• he loves his big sister

• he was very aware of a baby the same age at him this weekend, the first time I noticed him have an interest

• he has since ( the appointment and list above ) started to clap in response to songs ( happy and you know it ) or if we clap.. it’s not all the time, but he does.

• he has since ( the appointment again ) responded to ‘come here’ - sometimes he will giggle and zoom of in the other direction but others he will zoom towards you smiling and laughing.

• he responds to his name, I’d say 50/50 depending on what he’s doing, if he’s surrounded by toys and invested into something you won’t get his attention. If he’s just pottering you will.

———-
he had a tough start to life with reflux and holding his breathe, he got bottle aversion and needed to feed smaller more regularly until 6 months old and he lost weight, has been under dieticians, I will admit - his first 6 months was constant battle of feeding & regularly it’s all that consumed us.

he recently had a hearing test with paediatric audiology ( 2 weeks ago ) due to a ear infection in January and they’ve concluded he has Glue Ear.

can some babies just develop later? I’m worried I’m holding him back from services he may need.

I don't think this is the regular poster. Different style

I’d go to private ENT asap they will drag it on and on my dd had thirty ear infections with perforation by the time she was 28 months old, And then subsequent glue ear, miraculously she was ahead for her age with speech but she used to get awful nausea and diarrhoea with every round of antibiotics, it affected her sleep, she would conk out at nursery for hours with green goo pouring from her ear, it was horrible, the private ENT said the NHS will just hope you forget and go away until they outgrow it. If you can afford it , put it on a credit card, whatever but find a paeds ENT and also see if you can see a early years SALT privately too for some things you can be doing at home, also recommend a baby sign class if you can find one or something like sing and sign or even a music class or something that gets him connecting sounds with his environment etc, I did soooo many classes with dd because she had mild hearing loss on one side, she developed amazing she doesn’t have hearing loss now after VERY strong IV antibiotics one time which cleared her ears and they healed well. Also try and keep his ears dry and use ‘water dam’ baby ear plugs when swimming

I was going to advise you to get a hearing test, but then you said he has glue ear. Explains a lot.

Don't think of glue ear as masking the real issue. Not being able to hear well is a huge issue if you're 1 and trying to make sense of language.

Make sure that you reduce background noise (radio and TV off unless you're actually watching/listening). Try to stay within 1m of your child when speaking and make sure that he can see your face. Lip patterns and facial expressions give the child cues as to what you're saying.

If, after the 3m watchful wait, there is still a hearing loss, ask for a bone conduction hearing aid. This is a vibrating hearing aid which sits on a soft head band and re-routes sound around the blockage in the middle ear.

If your child can hear, then you can evaluate whether or not there is anything to worry about.

https://www.ndcs.org.uk/documents-and-resources/glue-ear-a-guide-for-parents/

From my experience with audiology and babies they can only formally diagnose hearing loss at the second appointment as they have to have two sets of results 3 months apart.

Even though it’s so hard to set aside your worries about autism, it’s really very likely the glue ear is causing hearing loss and that has led to the delays in the review. either way the best thing you can do is support his communication. For example try to get him to look at you before you start talking to him. Using sign language/makaton helps all babies develop their communication whether they have hearing loss or not.

These classes are really good if you’d be able to access one:

https://www.tinytalk.co.uk/baby-signing-classes.php

the national deaf children’s society website is very helpful.
https://www.ndcs.org.uk/information-and-support/

Xx

HV probably ended it as she realised she was doing it too young. As you've seen yourself since the appointment, so much development can happen in 1 month at this age. I really wouldn't worry at this point. You won't be holding him back from services, I very much doubt services would be put in at 11 months for a slight delay in communication. In my area speech and language services won't accept referrals for under 2s and the Autism assessment wouldn't be done before 2. The thresholds to get through to the agencies is also high and they only except children with significant development delays.

That sounds really distressing fir you and your child but its not the typical presentation of glue ear.

Most glue ear is caused by viruses. A snotty nose leads to secretions building up in the middle ear. These secretions stop the ear drum moving.

Glue ear is a largely self-limiting condition. Most children do not need grommets (which need a general anaesthetic). Antibiotics have no impact on most cases if glue ear.
A bone conduction hearing aid is minimally invasive and can be used until the glue clears up.

She was diagnosed with bilateral glue ear by a consultant and audiologist and had hearing loss in her left ear, the ENT dr said you get told it clears itself up but that it needs treating and the NHS fobs you off with watch and wait every time, meanwhile your kid can’t hear properly and my 2yo constantly said ‘whaaaat mummy?’ Unless she could see my mouth moving. If it was an adult who couldn’t hear properly you’d want it sorting but because they’re little kids they get fobbed off!

he recently had a hearing test with paediatric audiology ( 2 weeks ago ) due to a ear infection in January and they’ve concluded he has Glue Ear.

I read all of the things you said and I was literally just thinking have you considered getting his hearing tested? I'm pretty sure his glue ear would explain an awful lot of the things you've mentioned. Try not to worry, they honestly do all develop at very different rates and then they can suddenly catch up with their peers seemingly overnight. He sounds like he responds to you, smiles and makes good eye contact so I don't think there is any huge cause for alarm and nothing you have said particularly suggests autism.

It sounds like glue ear could easily be causing all the issues here.

But just to give a personal perspective- my DS was always just a bit late with milestones, I always had a sense that something was a bit off the mark. He was diagnosed with ASD aged 10. He is one of the most brilliant, caring, funny, affectionate, intelligent, creative and confident kid I know and I would t want him any other way.

I know I was once one of those parents anxiously googling “signs of autism” so i’m just here to say well occasionally it IS autism and that’s OK, it doesn’t have to be a big scary ominous thing.

My first was an absolute nightmare on the ASQ’s. I felt like we failed every test put in front of us. I worried SO much about him being autistic it makes me feel sad at how much I overanalysed his behaviour rather than just enjoying the funny, clever little boy he is. He had no hearing issues, refused to respond to his name for bloody ages (I had to bribe him with chocolate buttons at 18 months to get anywhere with that), didn’t point, didn’t put his arms up to be picked up, only interested in cars and water, fussy eater, no babbling, no words at all until just before 2 … I could go on. Lots of “red flags”. He’s 3 and a half now and you wouldn’t know any of this if you met him today. He’s chatty, kind and funny, eats healthy meals, sleeps straight through, toilet trained, has friends and appears to be a very typically developing boy. He may well be autistic, I haven’t ruled it out but it’s no longer something I’m afraid of.

My little one had reflux! Was very similar to your little guy at his age and I was worried about his speech at his checks. He only really said da da and with no context! He’s nearly two now and within the past few weeks he’s saying loads of words and putting 2 words together. He’s always had great understanding. I started with the reflux as I’ve always wondered if the severity of the reflux damaged his vocal cords and they where healing? It’s just my initial thoughts no medical research.

DD was talking - and I mean full clear words - at 9 months and full sentences before she was a year old. Didn’t walk until she was 15 months. My cousin said barely a word until he was two and then it was full sentences. My friend’s child walked at 9 months. DS walked and talked pretty much when the Department of Health said he should do. All of them are neurodivergent and have their challenges but they have also all gone on to be in mainstream education and achieve ordinary things.

This is just too early to tell @MummaHud and PPs who are suggesting you look into the glue ear/hearing issue are giving good advice. @Nosleepforthismum also sums it up well in her last sentence. If your DS is autistic it is not the end of the world and also not something you need to get diagnosed immediately, diagnosis matters at a different point for different children.

How does he play @MummaHud does he take any interest in how things work, or spinning things, moving things, hand flapping yet?

he sounds like my friends boy as a baby who is autistic and super clever!

He plays nicely with his sister, will sit and be interested if you’re reading books & will copy where you touch on the ‘that’s not my books’ and will often look at your mouth when you’re saying it and will smile.

He will really giggle if you play ’peek a boo’ style hide and seek.

he’s super happy and will do lots of eye contact and social smiles.

he seems to be interested in things with wheels / balls and balloons. But I remember my neurotypical 5 year old girl was like that at 11 months too.

No hand flapping, stimming or repetitive movements / playing of any kind.

xx

Ahh signs for and against then!

Regardless of what he does and what others (professional or not) are saying or thinking, forget them and their views.

You will clearly continue to do the amazing job you do as his mum 💙

Children develop very differently to others. In fact, Einstein didn’t really talk until he was 5. He turned out ok.

Enjoy your lovely baby, he will get where he needs to be when he’s ready. I feel that children are compared and measured so much now, it can rob you and them, of their early years.

In a few months, you’ll wonder what you were worried about.

I was always really stressed about the milestone thing too. I had a DS who's MO was to seem to be really behind and then skip a few steps. No cruising or toddling, just crawling until 18 months, when I was sitting in a library story time and he suddenly got up and ran for it. Basically, what I am saying is that kids develop at different rates. The glue ear, and also the fact that she is only 11 months are very relevant.

Glue ear does clear up by itself - but it can take a long time.

Children's hearing is my job. Yes, some hospitals watch and wait too long but antibiotics does not clear up glue ear because antibiotics kill bacteria and glue ear is usually the consequence of a virus, a series of viruses, allergies or anatomy.

Evidence shows watch and wait plus the use of a bone conduction hearing aid is the best approach for most children with glue ear.

Adults get glue ear too. They get no treatment at all. It is a self limiting condition.

Honestly sounds like hearing is the main issue. Hope that's the case for you.

There are many speech & language disorders plus delays plus delays for other reasons, yet everyone e.g. Dr Google always jumps to autism. My child had a severe speech & language delay but everyone including three doctors insisted it was autism until the official MDA diagnosis.

My dd is now 14 months and at her 12 month review (which was more like 11) she was doing hardly anything on it. HV wasn’t concerned at all and said will review in 3 months and she was confident dd will have caught up. She has !!

He sounds happy and like he's doing just fine. Babies develope in different stages and sometimes have a burst of learning.

Speech Therapist here. Just quickly jumping on to say that delayed use/understanding of spoken language does not necessarily equate to autism. It is more complex than that and a child is statistically far more likely to have delayed language ability than autism! Early years SALT would advise getting hearing looked at/treated as a starting point. In my opinion the question around initiating a game (which both my boys could not do at this age) seems developmentally inappropriate for this age/stage.