DS(8) friend on holiday

[whosaysthat]

On a caravan holiday. DS(8) brought a friend with us.

At the time of inviting months ago we mentioned if friend wanted to bring his bike and was told he didn’t have one and couldn’t ride. Fine, no problem.

It’s a static and our kids already have bikes there but was planing on not letting ds as his friend couldn’t join in.

Anyway as soon as we got there and we’re unpacking, they had DS’s an his sisters bikes out and ds was teaching his friend. He got it within a an hour and was riding up and down the grass perfectly.

Is it unreasonable to have let ds teach him? Would you be annoyed if it was your son and you’d missed it + weren’t asked?

So glad to hear this. My son is 7 and he refuses to try without stabilisers. Reading these comments I was feeling like the worst parent, seeing your comment has given me hope.

He will get there.

I might be a bit upset to miss my child's first bike ride if they were little and i had expected to be involved, but not at age 8. If it hasn't happened by then for logistical/financial or kid too scared reasons I would just be delighted he had done it.

He has had the opportunity to learn, so don't feel guilty he will do it when he is ready.

I find learning on a bike slightly too small so they can firmly plant feet when they want too helpful. Might be something to think about when he starts to outgrow current bike.

DS had a BMX party when he was about 8/9 at a local track with hills and stuff on it. We’d hired some instructors and they were going to show them how to go over the bumps and organise some races. The mum of one of the invitees explained her son would love to come but hadn’t mastered a bike yet - no problem I said, he could come along, have a go if he wanted, or help organise the races if he preferred and have some food afterwards.

Once he got there and got caught up in all the excitement, he had it mastered within about 30 mins and had a brilliant time. Mum was absolutely delighted 😁

reply was just that they didn’t know we were taking bikes

They should have known, because you told them some months ago.

You’ve taken their kid on holiday. I really don’t think they have anything to be annoyed about.

Could it be more coming from a place of anxiety? Maybe they’re worried he will have an accident trying to keep up with the others when he isn’t confident on a bike. Maybe the reason they never taught him is they were anxious about it.

I don’t think I’d care, it’s more about the child and their experience imo. I learned to ride a bike on the grassy bit at the back of the pub while my parents were partying inside. Maybe a video would be nice? But I wouldn’t be angry if not.

I'm a hard-nosed cow but the idea of your DS teaching his mate to ride a bike has made me a bit emotional! What a lovely, supportive friend he is.

I'm sure my dad would have been relieved if someone else had taught me. I refused to let him take the stabilisers off my bike until I was about 11, and it took me a bloody age to crack it (in my defence, I was diagnosed with dyspraxia many years after the fact!)

I think if they were desperate to see their son riding a bike for the first time, then they would have taught him before he was 8!! I mean my boys learnt to ride a bike just before they were 2 and never had stabilisers, mostly because it was important to us that they learned so they could ride bikes while we ran. We both missed our youngest’s first time riding a bike as he literally
just got on his older brothers outgrown bike and pedalled it away while we were all oohing and ahing over our pfb riding his new bigger bike 😂

I imagine your friends just aren’t that bothered hence the lack of reaction.

I'd think by age 8 if they haven't taught him they likely weren't going to or don't put importance on it, which isn't a problem that's their choice.
I'd be so impressed with your ds taking that upon himself and teaching his friend. You're raising a great kid.

I think it’s lovely your ds taught his friend. My dd was taught by an older friend how to master her bike, children can teach another in their own way or ‘language’ that makes the learner get it better than an adult.
i was with dd when her friend showed her and I couldn’t have done it better myself. Ironically years later that friend is now training to be a school teacher. Well done to your son and I’d let him know how pleased you are

How lovely of your DS. This is a memory that his friend will have forever. It’s also really kind of you to think of offering them the bike. YANBU at all.

Maybe the parents can’t ride a bike and now will be shown up.

Shame on them for not teaching him and shame on them for showing no gratitude. Hopefully their son is better mannered.

I would be delighted!! We can’t get our 10yr old taught despite lots of trying.

This

I’d be happy that he’d had a great time and not missed out on bike fun. It’s not like a toddler’s first steps. And if they’re letting their 8 year old go away with you they must trust you. Some parents are odd and possessive of their children’s experiences. I can’t see you did anything wrong.

I'd be delighted as we just can't get DD8 interested in learning to ride hers, she's much happier on her scooter. DS (now 13) wouldn't learn until he had Bikeability at school in Y6, and since then he's had very little interest in riding.
If either of mine came back from a holiday with a new (sensible/useful) skill, I'd be delighted!

That’s daft. The parents had long enough to get him a bike and teach h8m. Obviously weren’t interested. Sounds like he is having a great time. 👏

The parents had at least five years to teach him. They didn’t find the time. Their loss.

This! You haven’t done anything unreasonable at all.

It could be a "cotton wool" issue. Maybe he doesn't own a bike because his parents are scared he'll get hurt. They seem more upset you had bikes without telling them rather than their DS learning to ride one without them.

I'd say I didn't mean to tread on anyone's toes. Our bikes were already at the caravan and DS was teaching DFriend before I could say anything.
See what she says next.

Neighbour is busy bodying.

You make me feel so much better.

My DD was very slow to learn to ride a bike. And when she did finally get it (aged 9) it was some random stranger on a French campsite that helped her, rather than me or her dad. I've always felt bad about that, even though it was years ago!

Stop caring what they think

If they were that bothered they wouldn’t have a willing 8 year old who can’t already ride a bike - I wish you’d taught my son - it was torture 😆