MIL performance coughing/sneezing

[Pyrana]

MIL is staying with us until May 4th. She arrived weekend just gone and she’s driving me insane with her performance coughing and sneezing. When she coughs she will literally start pounding the sofa with her fists and stamping her feet hard on the ground. When she sneezes she literally SCREAMS horror film style and again punches something or kicks out. We have had two drinks kicked off the coffee table since Sunday. I really can’t cope with it for another two weeks, I constantly feel on edge waiting for the next scream. Plus it’s embarrassing, Monday she did it in the back garden and you could literally hear the neighbours instantly fall silent wondering what the hell the screaming was all about.

I’ve told DH to have a word but he says he can’t tell his mother how to sneeze. I’ve said if he doesn’t say something I will. AIBU?

Interestingly my performance sneezing mother stopped doing it when she developed dementia despite insisting for 30 years it was completely unavoidable.

My sympathies, OP, this would drive me mad. What a fool the woman is. I think I would do as already suggested and tell her firmly that she is too ill to be away from home.

"Mum, I've noticed that you're making a lot of noise and stamping your feet when you're sneezing and coughing. That's not normal and I am worried about you. Is there something we can do to help?"

That's all your DH needs to say after growing a pair.

You are not being unreasonable. She sounds ridiculous. I thought you were just going to say that her sneezes and coughs were too loud, not that she is punching and kicking things and screaming.

Your DH is just scared to say anything. Of course you can tell someone to stop kicking things off the coffee table and screaming loud enough to disturb the neightbours. Is this something new that she has just started doing or has she always been an attention seeking nightmare?

Surely the punching, kicking and screaming are within OP's MIL's control, even if the loud sneezes are not? OP's MIL's behaviour sounds performative and attention seeking while your's doesn't.

Is she a covert narcissist? Sounds exactly like someone exaggerating medical symptoms for attention or trying to hold other people accountable or make them feel guilty about her having health issues that they obviously aren't responsible for.

Is it hayfever? Tree pollen is bad at the moment. My hayfever sneezes are uncontrollable and very dramatic. Can you suggest she tries antihistamine? Knocking over 2 drinks seems extreme though. I tend to feel a massive sneeze coming so I can take avoiding actions.

I feel for you. My mother is a WAHOO sneezer and there’s always 10-15 in a row. My sister and I have been shouting at her for it for years but she insists she can’t help it. She has a small mouth too so I doubt it’s due to physiology

My sister is the same and has been forever. Giant sneezes and failing limbs.

If it's a new thing, have a word. If not offer antihistamines and lidded cups.

my mum gets hayfever and has other allergies and when she sneezes it’s a ACHOO WOOOOO WOOOO WOOOO WOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I kid you not…..it’s fucking enraging.

How come you're not bursting out with laughter when she does this? I wouldn't be able not to, I laughed just reading this. Maybe that would give her a hint about how ridiculous she is? Or tell her that you're very worried about her health and that she would be better in a care home where they are used to geriatric outbursts?

I’m afraid I sneezed my baby bouncer over, so that’s not always the case. That said, the shouting performance aspect is definitely a learnt thing!

ha ha do you ignore it?! Or say bless you?!