Small children on Long haul flights

[Lovetocook49]

Can I ask everyone’s opinions please ?
We have just come back from a
holiday to the Maldives . We found a cheap trip and booked , we have had a great week .

On our return flight , 11 hours long, there was a young family, 2 boys , one a toddler, one a few years older. My husband was chatting to the Dad , and they had gone just for a holiday - family not living there or anything.

The youngest boy had a very fractious journey , parents frazzled trying to keep him happy , minimise crying etc poor poppet was not a happy toddler.

I don’t get it ? The kids are so young they won’t remember the holiday , why put them through such a long flight ?

Just wondering others thoughts 🤷‍♀️

Because the flight is only part of the holiday which the parents presumably enjoyed on the whole? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Is this a trick question?

It broadens their horizons (literally) no end. I’ve travelled loads with DS under the age of 5, and we’ve had SO much fun. He’s now 5 and has such an open mind to different cultures/countries/cuisines, is obsessed with flags and flying and languages, and is extremely comfortable and confident abroad. Sure a toddler might not love an 11 hour flight, but they’re as likely to be just that grouchy on any given day at home so it’s not like it’s a huge disadvantage to anyone.

I sent my 10 and 12 yr old on a 10 hour flight on their own to visit my brother. Kids are allowed on planes you know.

Kids have as much right to be on long haul flights as you do even though they can be really irritating sometimes!

I’m not sure what else there is to think?

That fractious toddler might have had the time of their life on the holiday. Yes they probably won’t remember it but the affect of having a wonderful time with their family in beautiful surroundings probably had an excellent effect on their ongoing brain development that outweighs a short amount of discomfort on a flight. And the parents probably had a great time too which can only be positive for the whole family, so why the faux indignation and judgement OP? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also there are a few short years in parenting where you can just holiday anytime you find a good deal rather than waiting for the school holidays, so good for those parents for finding that opportunity..

I agree with you op. Most young children would be far happier closer to home in a temperate climate with a bucket and spade but people are selfish and put their own needs over their own children and everyone on the plane.

Who are you to judge other people's travel OP?

They could be travelling to see granny, grandpa, wider family, job opportunities...

I worked for an NGO.

Just saying. Not all 5 star holidays in international travel....

Because sometimes what the adults want is important too. Maybe the adults had a lovely holiday and it was worth the shitty flight.

I don’t think adults should ever sacrifice themselves for children to that extent. Sometimes kids have to tolerate situations they won’t enjoy, in this case a long flight.

I have a sister in NZ and a very close friend in Australia. Rather than go and visit them where they live, we often arrange to holiday together in another destination - it means we all get to spend our limited time off work seeing new places (as much as I love my friend, there’s only so much to do in Perth!). We’ve met up in the Maldives, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, South Africa and Japan, including when we all had very little kids.

Maybe the people on your flight were in a similar situation, or maybe they just wanted a holiday. The kids might not remember it but the adults will.

I think it’s awfully selfish - small children do not need exotic holidays (or long haul flights) and part of having kids in my opinion is sacrificing going far abroad for the first few years. Countries along the lines of Spain/France would be my limit at that stage.

I recently flew to Australia and there were 2 babies crying in a distressed fashion for the entirety of my 14 hour flight. It was horrendous!

And it’s your business because … ?

Mumsnet tends to be out of step with reality here, but don't worry, it's still legal and normal to have a life after becoming a parent.

I don’t get it ? The kids are so young they won’t remember the holiday , why put them through such a long flight ?

If the kids won’t remember the holiday, they also won’t remember being moderately miserable on the flight, either. So no harm has been done.

A kid was grumpy for half a day. So what? It’s not going to kill him. Parents are allowed to do things that piss off their toddler now and again, and they wanted a holiday. That’s fine and reasonable. Sometimes kids have to put up with shit they don’t like much, because not everything has to be for them all the time. Sometimes things can be for the adults.

I’m with you OP & I really wish we could have a sensible discussion on MN without it immediately descending into hyperbole.

No the OP isn’t saying parents should never do anything they enjoy once they have kids 🙄

No she isn’t saying children should never, ever be on planes at all until they are 18 🫠

We have been offered all expenses paid 5 star resort holidays to Mexico & the Maldives for us & our 3 year old. We turned both down. I didn’t think it was fair to ask him to endure 11 hours on a plane, plus hanging around the airport either end of the flight, plus transfers to & from the airport & then adjusting to a 7 hours time difference both ways (Mexico) for holidays that are in no way tailored to little children.

There is nothing to do in the Maldives for a 2 year old except go the beach. There are closer beaches. & what a way to ruin The Maldives by having a toddler with you!

We did take our son to Dubai (7 hour flight & 3 hour time difference) where we went to the Atlantis waterpark, Legoland, Global Village, Glow Gardens etc. Kid stuff that we enjoyed with him. Everything was paid for us so not our choice of destination but we felt this was more appropriate for him.

We’re an international family and we’re flying long haul this summer to attend an important family event at my in law’s. It will probably seem like we’re just another family flying to Disneyworld, though. The trip isn’t for my kids to “make memories”. It’s for their grandparents.

Most young children would be happier, eg, eating sweets for every meal, being allowed to have every toy they ever point at in a shop, not going to bed at a reasonable hour and only going to school when they happen to fancy it. That doesn’t mean we have to indulge them. Sometimes we make kids put up with things they don’t much like for their own sake, and it doesn’t kill them, so I don’t think it’s really a problem to make them put up with thinks they don’t like for other people’s sake once in a blue moon.

FWIW I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to play with a bucket and spade on a beach in the Maldives as well.

Did you read the OP? The family were doing none of those things.

Agreed. The Maldives is literally just an expensive, far away beach holiday. You’ll never convince me that a young child needs to be there! Unless you’re really into water sports or spa treatments there’s not a whole lot to do - it’s certainly not what I’d call fun for a child

I was long haul cabin crew for years, babies were on every flight, they cry, they stop crying, they cry again, they sleep, they eat, they play, bit like at home really. Shocker!

Its not something they ‘are put through’, it’s a normal non-distressing experience. It was always lovely to have babies and toddlers on board. They are lower maintenance then adults.

OP, as someone who used to travel 3x a year pre-children…I could not be bothered with this 😂 we are flying for the first time this Summer with our 6 and 3 year old for 2 hours. I genuinely couldn’t face the packing, the stuff, the disruption to naps/sleep/feeding routines, the worry of disrupting other passengers prior to this. Our first UK trips when either was under 1 certainly did not feel like a holiday 😂 I would only have flown a long way if I had family elsewhere.

Very few people would fly 24 hours to Australia with a baby just for a holiday - they were almost certainly going to visit family, or returning from visiting family. Would you have them wait until their child was 4 or 5 to meet their grandparents?

You don’t ’need’ to take your child on days out in the UK either. Most of us want our children to have more than just what they need.

I'd judge for the impact on the climate that going on a long haul holiday to sit on a beach. Not for taking a small child.

What they ‘need’ in terms of holidays is readily available on a short haul flight from the UK..!

Children don’t ‘need’ a holiday at all. My point was that it’s a stupid metric to apply to this situation. Of course children don’t ‘need’ a holiday to the Maldives - literally no one is saying they do. But if you only do things your children absolutely need, you’ll lead an incredibly boring life.