To think it’s fine to let a 10 year old do this?

[cadburyegg]

I have a ds10 who is in year 5. Have been gradually releasing a bit of independence. He has come home from school by himself a couple of times (20 minute walk, quiet village) - to someone in the house. I have left him in the house for up to an hour. He has gone out for a walk for up to an hour by himself. All in daylight hours. He has a brick phone and his own house key. All of this has been initiated by him, with a little encouragement from me, which is great because he has been quite a clingy child. We have talked about what to do if he’s ever offered a lift etc.

We went to Center Parcs last week. CP roads are very safe for kids on bikes as very few cars. I allowed DS to go ahead of us back to the lodge a few times. One afternoon when the rest of us were tired, DS wanted to go out again so I allowed him to go out on his bike for about an hour and got some sweets from the shop for himself and his younger brother.

Saw a friend this weekend and mentioned offhand what he’d been doing. She was so shocked. Said my ds was far too young to be doing these things, said at the very least he should be with a friend. She said most people don’t allow “this level” of independence until summer term of year 6.

So have I misjudged? Or is this ok for 10 year olds?

I think it's great. He's comfortable and happy with it and it's in safe environments. Good for him. I have a 10 and 13yo. 10yo not at quite this level but walks home from school daily the last 2y and goes to the shop on his own happily, will stay home for maybe 20/30m if I have to pop out.

I think it's fine - to be encouraged even. I'd wager your friend would think it better if your DS was closeted in his bedroom with a screen.

Totally fine - sounds like the right balance to me (depending on the dc. (My dc are 13 and 17 now). we went to the Loire valley to a beautiful camp site when dc were 7 and 10; I sat on the veranda with a cup of coffee while dc did circuits around our area of the camp. Very specific boundaries and they rode by once each circuit. Centre parks would be totally fine.

That sounds fine to me and I have a 12 year old and she did similar at 10

Would be fine by me. Sound like my childhood (bar the mobile)

Out walking for an hour by himself - I would prefer if he had a friend to go out walking with, safety in numbers ! Cycling around Centreparcs by himself is fine as it’s a contained area really. Short walk home from school and you’re there when he gets in, fine too. Though if they were very quiet roads with little houses, people or traffic, I’d be a little wary.

Completely normal. What good is giving them independence just weeks before starting secondary school where most will be getting themselves to and from school alone? Building up appropriate levels of independence over months/years is a much more sensible approach.

I wouldn’t allow this but my Y5 child is a girl and doesn’t have a phone.

What you have done sounds perfect to me, but I'd have done it younger than 10.

I can't get over the amount of MNetters who have friends who are constantly 'shocked' or 'horrified' at completely run-of-the-mill normal things.

Where do they all come from? 😳🤣

I think this sounds fine - but I live in Scotland where we seem to be a bit more relaxed about giving kids independence. My daughter has walked home from school by herself from the age of 8. She is 10 now and we leave her alone for short periods, she will go to the local shop by herself and will walk to and from friends houses. Recently she has started going to the park with friends. My only concern with Centre Parcs would be making sure she knew what to do if she got lost with it being an unfamiliar place. Although it's all well signposted from what I remember so no real issue.

This all sounds fine and on par with what we are doing. In fact, my son is actually much more keen than my daughter was for independence so he's going to start walking home from school on his own now - and he's 8. He has a smart watch to call us if there's a problem (it's a mile walk) but he really wants to try.

I've left my daughter home alone for short periods for a few years now (she's 12) and we let them run off to the playpark at a Eurocamp last summer for an hour or so when they were 11/7 - would be slightly more worried about that if they were on their own probably but by 10 that seems totally normal.

Next step is getting my daughter to get tea started when she gets home from school! Then my life will get even better lol

It’s normal here but children go to middle school in year 5 so have to travel to and from school on their own.

It’s impossible to answer whether A ten year old should do it, only whether your 10 year old should do it. There is a reason why the laws around this are vague. There can’t be a blanket cut off because children are so different. My 10 year old would have been mentally and emotionally capable of doing that, but we couldn’t do it because of her physical disability. Were it not for that, we’d have let her do a whole lot more. She’s 15 and can cook for herself, look after herself, she’s sensible enough to be left overnight. But her physical disability makes her vulnerable, if she falls or gets stuck, she’d need help.

Some 10 year olds could not be trusted with what your son does, but you know him best. If you think it is ok, that’s all that matters.

sounds perfectly reasonable… it is not just the age that should matter in these situations but the child… some kids are more grown up than others… you should know you’re own child and whether they are capable in different scenarios… i would ignore your friend, she sounds like a busy body who even if she thinks this should have kept her nose out of your parenting unless of course you asked her?

I think things like this are completely dependent on the type of child your child is. At 10 years old children can be very different in their maturity levels to each other, some look older too.
Its fine for some and not for others.

everything youve mentioned is totally ok, healthy and normal.

except wandering about on his own for an hour - sounds boring and bredom will make him vulnerable.

You won't meet them because every day life scares them so much they daren't leave the house 😂

All children and situations are different, I'd you're happy for your child to do something (obvs common sense applies) then it doesn't matter what random friends think.

Sounds completely fine , similar to my dd at the same age last year.
If you don’t start doing this they have a huge ramp up in responsibility when they start secondary school.

It sounds like you’re following his lead and helping him develop independence in a measured and age appropriate way.
I think it’s excellent parenting personally.

It’s great, op

She'd die of shock then when I said my year 4 child was allowed to walk home on their own. Bearing in mind we live in an area where there was middle schools not very long ago and they where expected to go to school and back on their own in Year 5. So no one would bat an eye to a 10 year old being out on their own.

I think it's absolutely fine what your doing.

Er….plenty of children are still 10 in the summer term of year 6. Does your friend think that they go through some magic right of passage during that term, that makes them suddenly ready, all at the same time? Ridiculous.

this.

I initially misread this as 4 year old. 😂