Midwife trying to put me off C-Section

[pinkribbonbon]

Had an appointment recently (28 week one) and told midwife that I’d like a C-Section. I’ve had two natural births and nearly died both times for various reasons and complications. So I’m very high risk for birth. I’ve researched a lot and decided on a C-Section even though I know it’s still high risk (either way is). The midwife started going on about lots of c section related things and said ‘ I don’t have the facts and figures, but it’s definitely linked to an increased likelihood of obesity and asthma for the baby’, without the evidence to support that, how it’s going to change my body forever and if I need another operation in that region it makes it much more complicated, how the surgeon could accidentally cut the babies face, how it’s not good for baby’s lungs and immunity. The thing that’s annoyed me is that none of her advice was specific to my circumstances, and she kept saying how its not a walk in the park- of course it’s not and I’m aware that recovery can be a lot harder, but the fact is I nearly died twice naturally anyway and I’m traumatised. But she kept going on about how it’s not a good idea to have one ever unless absolutely necessary. AIBU to be annoyed? Especially as she said things that were scientific but said that she doesn’t know the facts and figures, I don’t see how that’s helpful. Also, to reiterate, none of the stuff she said was tailored to my circumstances or risks.

I’m not sure if this is relevant or not, but with my second, one of the midwives said to the other ‘do you think that placenta looks complete’ and the other one said ‘yeah that’s fine’. Guess what? Wasn’t fine, left some placenta in which got very infected and I was very unwell. It’s highly unlikely (although possible) that the surgeon will leave some of my placenta in and this is something I’m worried about happening if I went natural. That’s just one thing of many that went wrong though.

Keep pushing, that midwife sounds like she's got her own agenda. I still remember the midwife who gave the antenatal class I attended 17 years ago, she recounted the story of a lady who kept asking for an epidural but she kept delaying her because she knew she could give birth without. Seriously, some midwives are on a power trip, no concerns for what women want.

I’d ask to see a consultant. I was told by a midwife that nowadays a consultant will pass a hand over your anus / vulva then onto babies face after a c- section. Apparently it’s really important to start off those gut bacteria it helps negate some of the risks for babies.

That midwife sounds a bit of a melon. You surely have expected her to say "I'll refer you to a Consultant so you can discuss further". I would much prefer HCPs be honest when all the facts are out of their remit.

I would be calling the community midwife team and asking to be referred to Consultant now. I wouldn't wait another couple of weeks. They will already be planning ahead the next few months.

I had a planned c section as I felt that recovering from abdominal surgery would be less traumatic for me than the possibility of recovering from an instrumental birth. Mainly as I had been through IVF and could not bare the thought of any more instruments or interference with my vagina.

I had an unexpected PPH but it was dealt with quickly and I have had no ill effects from the c section. I was given no advice on how to recover my core or pelvic floor, but that's standard for maternity care in this country anyway.

She sounds a bit loony. I have had two c-sections. Before the first one I had a similar midwife. The specialist ignored her witterings and decided to do a c-section. There is something wrong with my cervix and he said it would be a long difficult induction with no guarantee of a natural delivery at the end of it. I have to say that she stopped her wittering when she (and the huge crew of people in theatre including medical students) saw the prolapsed cord. She was reduced to saying weakly that maybe the c-section was all for the best while the specialist was urging the med students to cluster round my nether regions to observe. Neither of my children got cut faces or asthma. They were both born with Apgar scores of 9 and there was nothing wrong with their lungs or immunity. In fact, the prolapsed cord baby will qualify as a doctor this year.

My aunt who I now suspect had the same cervical issue had the most awful home delivery with her teenage sister (my mother) assisting the country doctor. She and the baby survived but my aunt was left with terrible birth injuries and had a very long convalescence with a large part of it confined to a wheelchair. I have no illusions about the delights of natural childbirth.

Can you speak to your specialist about booking in for an elective given your previous history?

I had similar circumstances to you with three traumatic and very dangerous births and opted for a C-section this time. The midwives were very detailed in the pros and cons but my first consultant refused to allow it so I had to get a second opinion. Once I had that it was fine because you are allowed to choose.

It was my easiest birth. Despite being an emergency as my waters broke before the scheduled date, it was like a planned one. Very calm. The first day was horrible in pain but I was walking around Tesco (slowly) on day 2. I healed like a dream. I honestly could have performed an emergency stop after about a week but obviously didn’t drive.

Do what you feel is best, know as much beforehand going in as possible and stand firm in your choice.

I find this incredibly frustrating. Either tell you the risks (including facts and figures) or refer you to someone who can. When consenting (which includes the info to make a decision), you are not allowed to overplay risks nor are you allowed to tell a patient what to do.

I had an elective c-section for my second after almost dying during the first. It was in fact the midwife who first referred me to the consultant clinic as she wanted me to talk through the options. Not one other midwife I saw during my pregnancy made any negative comment about it.

fwiw it was a fantastic experience, so very different from my “normal” first delivery. Even though I did still bleed, I didn’t feel out of control or that it was as scary. Recovery wasn’t pain free but again so much less - I was up and about so much faster. Good luck - be firm and request a consultant review.

From a completely vain standpoint my three cesareans have left me with a godawful overhang xx

You should have a consultant as high risk so I would request an appointment and to speak to them about it.
I found the midwifes didn't want to do anything with my birth plan and just pointed out the risks and benefits when I asked about anything. They left anything above the normal standard to the consultant. I contemplated a c-section because of my history and would have been granted if I requested it. Ultimately I chose not to as I needed to round my pregnancy and birth journey out with a natural birth but a consultant would be best placed to help you make that decision.

Vaginal Birth is not “Babaric” and I pity any woman who had a heath professional spouting such rubbish,

I had a drug free, fairly routine, Vaginal Birth .. nothing barbaric about it. It was a wonderful experience.

There are good experiences and bad experiences in both. Shouod we call CS “Barbaric” because some people get terrible infections?

I pushed for an elective c section due to horrendous anxiety in my pregnancy and previous losses. My midwife and consultant really put me off and made me feel crazy for wanting one.

I ended up feeling deflated and ended up having an induction due to son’s fast heartrate.

Day 2 of induction and my sons heart spirling, I asked for the elective c section.

It was honestly the most incredible experience, so positive.

Whilst it’s normal for your midwife and consultant to tell you the risks, try not to let anyone scare you to doing what you feel best. Listen to your gut

@ExtraOnions my friend said this to me (partially tongue in cheek) as a friend, not as a healthcare professional.

She's a bloody brilliant GP who advocates for the women in her care so don't get your panties in a bunch. Childbirth in all its forms is a messy, dangerous business. Women have the right to choose.

@ExtraOnionsThats great for you, but someone going on about what a wonderful experience they had with a vaginal birth doesn’t help those of us who didn’t. I also hate it when people go on about being drug-free; I’m not weak because I needed pain relief, and women who didn’t need it aren’t morally or physically superior to those who did, so it’s not even worth mentioning. Everyone knows that many people have wonderful, drug-free, natural births, but that’s not what this conversation is about. OP has very valid reasons for wanting a CS, and talking about the merits of vaginal birth is not what she asked for. And yes, my first (vaginal) delivery was pretty barbaric, so that can be an accurate word sometimes.

I had two elective C-sections. So calm, so controlled, and an excellent recovery. My children are not obese, nor are they asthmatic. They weren’t cut or wounded in any way.

This is your birth and you are very much entitled to ask for what you want. Just keep saying that you’d like a CS and you will have one. They are quite obstructive at times because they have an ‘ideal’, but both births cost roughly the same to perform, and as a huge number of labours end in CS anyway, I know I’d rather come at it calm and not in pain, rather than panicking, in pain and exhausted.

Blah blah blah. OP wants a CS though, so…

Just to balance, mine didn’t (not boasting, just don’t want the OP to assume that the hanging apron thing is the norm, it isn’t)

Refusing to document your request in the notes is bad. She could easily have included it and added all the warnings she gave you. I would contact PALS, tell them this and say you are very concerned that your request was not even recorded and you want your record to be corrected ASAP to avoid you making a formal complaint. You don't want to end up in a situation where you're told 'we haven't got a record of you requesting a section, it's too late now'.

Elective sections are very safe. They are a very good option for someone like you. It's not on for midwives to scare you.

Indeed, it was in my notes from my booking appointment (which took place over the phone), then checked with me again at 16 week midwife appointment and I had consultant agreement by 18 weeks.

When I decided to have an elective C-Section (based on having a heart murmur and being told by a cardiologist aged 15 that that would be preferred), I had to speak to the obstetrician about it and had to have a call with a midwife to know that I understood the risks.

You’ve had two difficult births and think you are clear. Some midwives ARE pushy on vaginal birth, that’s a fact but some of this will be setting out risks. I personally found having a planned section a really positive experience so just make sure you are advocating for yourself - it’s fine to say “thank you for outlining the risks, however having had two traumatic and difficult births, this is the option I am choosing this time” and rinse and repeat.

I would assume you’ve had the generic spiel done not particularly well by a midwife filling in for your usually midwife. Because you’re high risk, I’d imagine you will be seeing a consultant soon? If it’s not scheduled, then ask to see one. Write down questions about your specific situation. I have no idea whether there is less likely to be an issue with retained placenta with a C-Section but clearly that’s an important question for you and you deserve to have someone who knows answer that. I personally wouldn’t decide on ELCS or planned vaginal delivery in your circumstances without having my questions about my specific risk profile answered.

I'm having an elective c section (very soon!) after a failed induction and an emergency section in my first pregnancy.

Not one midwife or doctor has tried to dissuade me. The consultant went through the risks of the operation which they have to do. Not one has said anything about asthma or obesity or lung development.

I think the midwife overstepped here- especially without actually giving you the statistical facts. Something like "maybe cutting the babies face" is just ridiculous scare mongering as it would be incredibly rare in a planned section.

I found my first two vaginal births barbaric and brutal. My third where I had an epidural was absolutely lovely.

Ask for an appt with a consultant. This should have been arranged anyway, from what you've said about previous births.

I pushed for a c-section even though technically I had no reason to have one. Best decision I’d made and my baby was actually on the larger side and I was told ‘good job you had a c-section’. I had this overwhelming gut feeling it was best for me and I’m glad I listened to myself. Keep pushing if you want one - there’s always people along the way who try to put you off (in my experience). The recovery was hard but hearing what other people went through was worse than what I went through.

My c section was great. No overhang, no issues. Breastfeeding was a bitch as milk took a week to come in.

Agree mine was barbaric…..it’s actually the best word for it. The recovery took weeks and I still have an issue ! ( 25 years later )

My c section for twins was great. Recovery no problem