If you work full time, would you do your 17/18 year old's washing and ironing?

[bookworm8500]

As the title says really, do you?

Daughter is 17 (18 in September).

She is doing her A-Levels and has a part time job.

She spends the rest of her time with friends or on her phone (hours and hours in her room on her phone, like so many kids this age I guess).

I work full time.

I find myself resentful standing here for hours doing her ironing whilst she is chilling in her bedroom..

I don't mind washing as it all gets chucked in, but the ironing grates on me

Do you do your almost adult child's ironing?

YABU - of course I do
YANBU - no, I don't!

She can prepare for adulthood by doing some of the washing, all of her own ironing, and some other housework - she's not a guest in the house.

Yes I do all the laundry and ironing ( although I only iron uniforms). I work 12 hour shifts though so have four full days off each week, which is more than anyone else in the house has.

Do you have any idea how many arguments I have caused when i've put the wrong GFs knickers in the wrong DSs room 😂

(sometimes I do it on purpose 😉)

@RedSkyDelights that's definitely an alternative if your children don't have a full load of clothes, fortunately mine do.

My 16 year old does his own.

I love ironing but expect everyone to do their fair share around the house. We don't have jobs to do but everyone knows it has to be done. Same if we're running low on something. My DS is the youngest at 16 and has autism and adhd to name a few. He would struggle to hoover because of the humming sound the hoover makes but he's brilliant at cleaning especially making the bathrooms sparkle.

I did it, but my DCs also did it. So it was never a case of me taking the load of the work. If mine were home and something needed done they would do it. Washing/ironing/dishes/cleaning etc - we were very much a muck in family.

i would absolutely not be doing everything for them while they did nothing.

I would yes as we don't have the space for everyone to do separate washes as four of us so I organise it as Dark clothes, light clothes, colours etc. I don't iron unless need for work. I am.not asking my DS to help with anything much at the moment as I would prefer he revised for A levels which is doing all of the time!

No let her do her own stuff. Learning life skills won't hurt her.

Completely agree. I feel some people make work for themselves. My dm was like this, she would even iron underwear, and then would complain about all of her ironing! No wonder there was a permanent ironing pile! 😂 I'm the opposite, kids uniforms only, and something needed as and when, if it looks particularly creased. Life is too short to spend entire Sundays ironing, unless it is something you really enjoy, and aren't complaining about. No ironing piles in this house.

I do, I’m washing and ironing anyway so wouldn’t leave their clothes out just because they’ve reached an arbitrary age where they could do it themselves. They know how to wash and iron clothes, it’s not particularly difficult.

You're drying them wrong.

I have 3 items (blouses) in my wardrobe that always come out like screwed up tissue paper (I really need to give them to charity).

The rest, you just pick the most crease-free wash cycle and hang them up immediately after you've shaken/smoothed them out.

I don't even own a tumble dryer and yet they come off the airer all nice and smooth.

Why are you washing your sons' girlfriend knickers? 🤔

Washing yes - but it would have to be in washing basket or in front of machine. I wouldn't go hunting for it. I'd expect DC to bung parents clothes in if they were doing a wash - so a full load.

No to the ironing.

Mine also hoover, loads/unloads dishwasher, cleans down sides, puts washing away, cooks etc etc. and has done since about 14 .

I suspect we’ll still do laundry whilst they’re in school, it doesn’t really make sense to wash people’s clothes separately. But either they will be chipping in with it too by that age (if I trust them with my clothes…) or it’ll be offset by them doing additional help in other areas. Laundry is usually DH’s domain.

You are washing underwear of your children’s girlfriends?! No chance would I be doing that.

I’m happy to do everyone’s washing. I don’t iron unless wedding/funeral/interview, either DH or I would do that kind of ironing for anyone in the house. He used to use an ironing service for shirts but doesn’t wear them as often these days so he’s stopped it.

Oh but ironing, we don’t do a lot of, DS already irons his own clothes when it’s needed (he’s 14).

How would you even know who the ‘correct’ underwear belongs to?!

Before she went to uni, the cleaner did it and I expected to pay the cleaner in full.

When she came home from uni she was given two choices - do it herself or transfer £65 a month to cover an extra hour for the cleaner. She chose the second option.

I think I'd have done it until A'Levels were finished.

I stopped ironing school uniform when I kept finding it screwed up in draws or fallen off hangers in their rooms - I though wtf the point.

DH never appeciated ironed shirts - and can use a iron for his sewing projects so never did his and most of mine if hung up damp dries good enough for most things.

Dmum used to spend some of Sunday iroing 3 uniforms and Dad week of shirts - she stopped as soon as she could and does as neccessary one off item now.

MIL iron pants and bedding and table cloths and then moans about ironing piles.

As a rule we all do our own washing/ironing/putting away her. Two kids, 14 & 17.
The kids have 'helped' from day dot amd have gradually, without trauma or moaning, moved on to doing ot themselves, sometimes they need prompting, most times it's on amd done without asking.
We share a white/lights wash and everyone will ask of anyone has anything that needs doing or a half load to top up.
It's all very sensible and angst free.

I'm gonna take a win when I can so can honestly say this is because I ALWAYS made the kids help with the laundry...crawling to put a muslin in the machine, toddlers matching/balling socks etc.

If you're gonna start at 17 there will props be some kick back 🤷 good luck!

With boxers I can't tell between adult DS and DH.

Occasionally I get annoyed comments about getting stuff in wrong rooms - (wouldn't be doing GF or BF washing at all).

I point out they are free to wash their own things - can sort the dry washing themselves - or can just put it in the right room and stop causing drama.

We do tend to have some differences- size colour though socks can be an issue with school wanting black only. Biggest issue there been MIL - who bought as gifts exact same style of socks in different sizes for every family member which I think deliberate - but usually ends up with one person getting them all in the end.

@bookworm8500 Doing the washing for our household members (of any age) isn't a big deal. Saves wear and tear, cost of doing the washing all together and is sensible

Doing a 17 year old's ironing - absolutely not!!! I did ALL the family ironing (there were 5 of us) from around age 14. Part of my contribution to household chores. My sisters had different ones to do. My children were expected to do their own from age 13!

Mine is autistic and though she has a lot of down time, she also gets very overwhelmed.

She's been doing her own washing since summer of Y12 so she's mastered it before uni. She doesn't iron.

However I am stepping in to do it for her again between now and the end of her A level exams.

No doubt I will still be doing her brother's at this stage but his SEN are higher.